Franken won

WARNING: THIS BLOG MAY BE UNREADABLE FOR THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS AS THE HOST IS GOING TO BE INSUFFERABLY ARROGANT.

You have been warned.

Student evaluations

I have my spring term evaluations.  The numbers were good and most of the comments were good, but there were more strange comments this time.  So here again are the Good, the Bad, and the “Huh?”

The good:

• i think that he shouldnt improve anything. he is great in my opinion and i can understand everything he says
• makes the class so funny and interesting and i like to attend his classes without missing any of them
• THE SIR STEAVE IS THE BEST SIR..
• Strengthens the thinking and you understand what is happening around you

There honestly weren’t any bad.  I even had a friend translate the Arabic comments and they weren’t bad.  The one criticism a student made is very valid:

• He was just teaching the main points without mentioning any details...

There were several “Huh?” comments.  I have no idea what any of these mean:

• Not only got made after each test, or duty
• My phone has become a leading
• Where he was speaking in Sriya and sometimes incomprehensible
• Instructor very Mmta

I am sure I was incomprehensible while speaking in Sriya.

Burger King's seven incher

I have spent quite a bit of time searching ads and came across this one for Burger King. Besides the lack of subtlety it's disturbing because it looks like it's an underage girl with too much makeup.

Kidnapping, sexual assault, and, oh yeah, ginseng

I love my state but only Iowa could make it an illegal offense to raise ginseng. A 38 year-old abducts a 16 year-old and sexually assaults her. In searching his house they found marijuana plants and *shock* ginseng.

Why not stick to the real charges of abduction and attempted rape and leave the horticulture alone?

30 days and counting

At this time in thirty days I'll be in Atlanta. While I'm not exactly homesick, I am very ready to come home. The feeling is not helped by my classes.

In teaching there are classes you love. You look forward to class and it always interesting. There are classes you hate - usually because one or two make the class insufferable. And then there are classes that where time moves in slow motion.

This summer my four hours of class seem more like eight. The students are fine. There is simply no input. With 40 students in each class nobody is willing to talk. Imagine four hours of just me. Even worse, imagine four hours of just me while English is not your native language!

*****
Please let me know if you have any requests of items from the UAE. I'm headed to Dubai on Friday to shop. (Mike says there's a Virgin store that sells Coke plates.)

When I leave it will be 173 days straight in this country. So today it's 143 down, 30 to go. I'm counting each and every day.

Favorite TV advertisement

A friend reminded me today that I dropped the ball on the “Uplifting music” theme.  Actually, he called it “pro ball dropping.”   He’s right, of course, I do hope to resurrect it in the future.

In the meantime I’d like your submission for favorite TV commercial.  I’d also like to know why you like it.  I’m showing a few each day in my Marketing class.  You may provide as many suggestions as you like.  Offer is available for a limited time.  Void where prohibited.

*****
My all time favorite is this:

It aired only once - during the SuperBowl.  The ad seems even more powerful today.  Computers, pre-Macintosh, had little use for a mouse and there were no graphics.  The idea of “clicking on an icon” simply didn’t exist.

Microsoft saw the great product and copied it to make Windows… but in true Microsoft fashion, it took them seven years to come out with it. 

Unlike many of the Billy Mays infomercials, this was an overly hyped commercial that lived up to the hype.

Billy Mays (1958 – 2009)

As an insomniac I have seen more Billy Mays infomercials than I care to admit.  I even bought the “quick chop” above (worthless).  I love his ability to project yell every single word.

I showed this commercial to my Marketing class today.  The girls’ eyes got wide.  I was surprised by the response.  Afterwards I learned the reason:  They’ve never seen anyone ever talk like that. 

RIP, Billy, you’ve earned it.  I also wonder if Heaven and Hell are fighting over who has to take him.  Would you want someone who talks like this around for all eternity?

Skype

I tried Skype at the hotel, at the first apartment and at the new apartment. The calls have been terrible. I tried it again today with Ann in London and it worked great. No idea why, but if you want to try you can reach me at steve_kranz

I will eventually get the skype account that will allow me to call anywhere in the US. It's only $30 for a year of unlimited calling - a great deal. Unfortunately, I don't have an American credit card and it won't take my Visa from here.

Weekend remainders - the meaning of "cooze"

Today's theme is, "Things I never knew..."

I had no idea Rhode Island's full name is The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.

I also learned the word "cooze." Candice Bergen (Murphy Brown) used it to describe John Edwards' mistress. Meanwhile, an Iowa Edwards supporter reflects on what it is like to support a politician who lets you down. He then gives a summary of philandering politicians. It was written almost a week before "hiking the Appalachian trails" took on new meaning. (Correction, the writer was not an Edwards supporter at the time of the caucus.)

Speaking Mr. Morals, he said he is using the Bible as justification for staying in office. I had to look up the Biblical reference. King David fell in love the Bathsheba. He ordered her husband to be abandoned in battle, thus killed by enemies. He then took Batsheba for his wife.

Is that really the story you want to use, governor?

*****
And finally, I learned that not every American knows Carole Burnett or Alan Alda...

The other night I was having dinner with a friend in her mid-30's who grew up in the US. We were discussing the recent passing of Ed McMahon, Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. During the discussion of childhood memories I mentioned a clip of Alan Alda and Carole Burnett that I've watched several times in the past week. She gave a puzzled look. "I've never heard of her. Was he the guy in M*A*S*H?"

The clip starts slow but is very funny. The setup: 3 couples vacation together all the time. One dumped his wife and brought the new girlfriend on the boat. It’s probably not a good idea to watch this at work… although it will bring your neighbors to your cubicle.

Update: One of John Edwards' top aides says there's a sex tape of John and his mistress and they even talked about what music would be played at their wedding... after Elizabeth dies, of course.

Wow.

Conan O'Brien

In three days I've had three different people say I remind them of Conan O'Brian.

That's not something I'm used to hearing lately but after his show started back in 1993 I heard it all the time. I like Conan so I take it as a compliment. If someone said "you remind me of Sarah Palin" I'd be seriously pissed.

But, as much as I like Conan, I think even Conan knows Dave is better. It's too bad they are now competitors because they both have great respect for each other.

Painting

Surprisingly little news on the painting front. A friend is checking into the price issue and the guys who were supposed to paint never showed up. On one side it is surprising because I have been incredible tipper for their past work, sometimes giving a 100% tip. So you'd think they'd want to do more work here.

On the other side this is what I've come to expect in this country. In fairness to the guys when they said they'd come on Saturday they didn't stipulate which Saturday...

Question of the day

Why do streets in Iowa buckle under the heat?

Years ago I was driving east on Collins in the right lane in front of Applebee's when a spot in the left lane just ahead of me exploded. It scared the hell out of me.

The Gazette has had stories about asphalt roads in CR buckling under the heat.

I am now living in a city where the low temperature is 85. The highs are 110+. There are no signs of any road wear due to the heat.

Is the problem in Iowa that the 95 degrees days come after a winter where we hit 30 below? Is our asphalt and concrete different?

The cost of paint

I'm pretty sure I got ripped off tonight. $35 for a gallon of paint? I bought two gallons for my front room. The guy selling me the paint knew very little English. As I expressed shock to the price he kept saying, "Jotun paint. Quality paint."

I replied, "I don't need quality paint. I'm not going to live here for twenty years."

Needless to say he didn't understand.

The worker crew is showing up tomorrow but I don't know if they understood I wanted my walls painted, not washed. As I play our awkward not-understanding-each-other conversation through my mind I think they think I want my walls washed.

Also, I had to park a half mile from the paint store (bad idea to go downtown on a Friday night). In walking that distance I was soaked in sweat... at 9PM.

Update: Yes, indeed, I did get ripped off. The paint should have been $20/gallon vs. $35/gallon. I'm going back tomorrow.

Obama is the reason Sanford had an affair

You gotta love Rush. The man never disappoints:

"This is almost like, 'I don't give a damn, the country's going to Hell in a handbasket, I just want out of here.' He had just tried to fight the stimulus money coming to South Carolina. He didn't want any part of it. He lost the battle. He said, 'What the Hell. I mean, I'm -- the federal government's taking over -- what the Hell, I want to enjoy life.'"

And then:

"The point is, there are a lot of people whose spirit is just -- they're fed up, saying to Hell with it, I don't even want to fight this anymore, I just want to get away from it."

And then:

"There are a lot of people that are looking at life and they are saying 'screw it.'
They are saying 'screw it'... before Obama takes away their money... before Obama takes away their house... or the economy takes away their house there are people who are saying 'to Hell with this'. They have tuned out. 'To Hell with it. I'm just going to try to enjoy this as much as I can.'"

"Hiking in the Appalachian trails"

Andrew Sullivan asks if the phrase will become part of the culture.

It's easy to see how it can be used:

"Are they dating?"

"I don't know if they're a couple, but they've sure been hiking in the Appalachian trails..."

Coke fridge update

Lights were installed and the fridge is looking great! I'll post pics of the finished product once I get all the shelves cleaned.

Scraping the rust off is very time consuming. I'm almost done with the one on the left. Once I have the rust off is it worth painting them? If so, what kind of paint? I'm very ignorant on these things.

Casting a short shadow

This being the week of the summer solstice the sun is pretty much directly overhead and, as this lightpost shows, there only shadow at noon is right below.

Quote of the day from Jon Stewart

Stewart had this to say of the Sanford affair:

"He's just another politician with a conservative mind and a liberal penis."

Sanford = Obama

This comes from RedState.

"Obama can golf… jet to NY… vacation in Hawaii, and have a cocktail party every Wednesday…

But let a Republican take a break and the press goes ballistic. The bias goes beyond what words can describe."

Equating Obama's date nights with Sanford's affair is humorous. But then, I'm sure I'm just part of the biased left wing media.

Frankly, I couldn't care less where Sanford sticks his dick. Nor do I care about Republican John Ensign's affair, or Republican David Vitter's visiting prostitutes or Democrat Bill Clinton's Lewinski, Paula Jones, et al.

What bothers me is them joining thrice-divorced Rush in blaming gays for ruining marriage.

There's nothing gays could to the institution of marriage worse than what these guys have done.

Truth is stranger than fiction - Part II

I am dead tired and wanted to go to bed early but I had to stay up to watch the Gov. Sanford press conference. So worth it! It starts 15 minutes late and he spent the next 15 minutes apologizing before he explained what he was apologizing for: He had an affair with a woman in Argentina.

It's an unbelievably emotional press conference for a guy who has spent his life building a political career... to know its gone up in smoke.

The wife and family knew about it for months. He even mentioned having a hard conversation with his father-in-law. I'll bet.

The presser is still going on and I'm actually impressed with his performance. I don't see it resurrecting his political career but it's impressive.

Admitting he liked to hike in the nude would have been so much easier.

Iowa's unemployment rate

Since December 2007 to now Iowa's unemployment rate has only gone up 2% - from 3.8% to 5.8%. That's one of the best performances in the country. Iowa, Nebraska, North and South Dakota, and Wyoming are the only states still under 6% unemployment.

It makes me wonder why. What is Minnesota's unemployment rate more than 2 points higher than Iowa? Or why has Wisconsin's unemployment rate gone from 4.5% to 8.9% from December 2007 to now?

Truth is stranger than fiction

Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina is an up-and-coming Republican. He's been mentioned as a 2012 or 2016 candidate for president. He stoically defied the stimulus spending until his state legislature forced him to accept it.

But for the past four days nobody has had any clue where he was, not even... his staff... his family... and it turns out he may have a been on a nature hike...

A nude nature hike.

Update: I knew the story was too good to be true, but the real story is just as bizarre: He went to Argentina without telling his wife or his staff.

Day 3, and it's already a vicious cycle

Summer school has started and I have few observations:

Fact: Teaching is like being on stage.

Nobody says to an actor, "Your play is two hours long and you perform six days a week. You only work 12 hours a week."

(OK, I spend way less time in makeup...)

Fact: Teaching non-native English speakers is hard.

Every day I realize simple things I say need to be explained. An example today: I said, "Let's take a stab at that..." I realized that not only did my students have no idea what "stab" meant but even if they did know what it meant the phrase "Let's take a stab at that" is pretty ridiculous.

Furthermore (another phrase I can't use here), my students' vocabulary amazes me. They know many very difficult terms like "cost-benefit analysis" but have no idea what "backup" means.

Fact: Most of my students have me for Operations Management followed by Marketing.

Big deal, right? Go back to the first fact. Teaching is like being on stage. There's only so much material I've got. (Ask my poor students at Hamilton. Many had me for so many classes that they knew my stories better than me.) I have these students for four hours. Although the content is different from the classes the need to lighten up the material - and keep them from falling asleep - remains the same. For the past year every class was made up of different students. No overlap. That meant I could prepare a few comments and tell it over and over, much a like a comedian traveling from city to city. Now I have no luxury.

It's four hours each and every day with no opening act to warm up the crowd.

Fact: As a late night person I come to class barely awake. To compensate I drink two Coke Zero's and a large Dunkin' Donuts coffee just to make it to 9AM.

The caffeine doesn't really kick in until 10. By the time I have let the class go at noon I am flying; I am ready for another two hours. My students have the look of "Dear Allah, please make him stop."

Nepal light shade

My Bangladeshi McGyvor installed a lamp shade that I bought in Nepal. It looks great. I wish I had more. I didn't buy many in Nepal because I didn't know if I'd ever have them installed. Now, with my B-McG, I will get several when I return.

Here's a pic Ann of took of me in Nepal in a restaurant lit only with these lanterns and candles.

A father’s day tribute

Obviously this isn’t dedicated to my father since I was born 16 years after Mom & Dad got married, but…

…this was sent to me by a friend who, well, let’s just say his daughter may be singing this song to him in the future.

College town

I work for the major university of the country and it's the largest employer in the city. When school is out most of the students return home and faculty escape the heat.

Much like Iowa City in the summer, traffic is way down. It's great to be able to fly through most roundabouts.

Not having to stop is a good thing. When my car is idling at a stoplight the air conditioner kicks out. The car gets hot in seconds.

Summer solstice

The longest day of the year is always a depressing day for me. It means every day will be shorter for the rest of the year. Here it's cause for celebration: The sun is beginning the slow retreat from directly overhead.

Al Ain is located just miles north of the Tropic of Cancer. The sun at noon is pretty much exactly on top of us and objects cast no shadow. It's bizarre.

The sun's intensity and the heat here is amazing. It doesn't seem possible that I live on the same planet as the one with Iowa's cold, harsh winters.

Day for day I'd rather take the intense heat than a day of an ice storm followed by arctic blast in Iowa. The problem is that the super intense heat lasts seven months (April - October). November and March are very warm and the weather is only "nice" December - February. For those three months the weather is perfect 88 out of 90 days.

What a contrast to Iowa where perfect weather is always followed by a huge storm of some sort.

I'm glad to see summer has finally reached Iowa. I probably don't need to tell you that it's been a cool and wet spring. Until today the high for 2009 in Cedar Rapids was 87, set in April. Today's it's gonna be 92.

Before you feel too bad, the low here will be 89. I don't wanna talk about the high.

Sundays

Today is the start of the workweek and the first day of summer school.

In between classes I went across campus to pick up my books. On the way back I was in full stride and tripped. I stumbled ten feet (and not slowing down) before I crashed. The result was a patch of skin removed from my left palm and several square inches from my right knee and a pair of slacks destroyed by a rip in the knee. Add to that I was now covered in dust on my right side from head to toe.

These are the types of things Americans expect to happen on Mondays. I asked my class if the same comments are made here about Sundays. They laughed and said it was.

Bringing that up was the only chance I had of restoring credibility. I have seen too much evidence that first impressions are everything. Although I've had some of these students before most are new. Seeing their professor bleeding, with torn pants and covered in dust does not exactly inspire confidence.

One more go at the cash-for-clunkers

Aaron (from previous post) is right: You can't simply buy a worthless car to be eligible. The info at cashforclunkersfacts.com says you have to own it for a year.

Now I'm wondering just how much value this program will have. Most people driving a car with no book value can't afford a better car... or they'd be driving one already. If not a new car, they'd have bought a better used car.

Anyhow, according the government my 1991 Park Avenue gets 19 MPG. One site says the combined has to be 18, which would mean the Park Avenue wouldn't qualify. Another says for cars it has to be below 22.

Not surprisingly, the car manufacturer's are getting into the act. I could buy a brand new Ford Focus for less than $9000! Too bad it's a Focus.

Update: According to the government website cars.gov the vehicle has to be a combined 18 MPG or less. The 1991 Park Avenue has a combined 19 MPG.

If a tank of a car like the Park Avenue doesn't qualify I have a hard time believing many will!

"Buy my used car!"

I think that's a phrase we might hear a lot in the next couple of months.

It seems logical that the cash-for-clunkers will create a secondary market for used cars. Let's say my friend Mike wants to buy a new car but his car is worth more than $4500. He can sell his car on the used car market and buy mine for $2000. He can use the money he made from selling his car and the $4500 credit he gets from trading in the 1991 Park Avenue.

I get $2000 for a car that's basically worthless and he gets $2500 ($4500 credit - $2000 to me) towards the new car. We both win.

Cash for clunkers

My 1991 Buick Park Avenue with over 200,000 miles and no working air conditioner has suddenly become more valuable... About $4500 more valuable.

$4500 is the rebate I'd be eligible for under the new cash-for-clunkers program to encourage people to buy newer, more fuel efficient cars. I've never bought a new car. The notion of losing 30% of the value the minute it leaves the dealer's parking lot is not appealing to me. And, of course, I've never really been able to afford one.

Shaving $4500 off the price makes buying a new car a whole lot more appealing. The fact I won't be in the US much for the next couple of years is a bit of a downer.

But let's pretend: Say I were to be in the market for a reasonably priced new car that has to get pretty good mileage (in order to be eligible). What car would you recommend?

Quote of the day - vegetarians

At last night's dinner party a guest commented after looking at my food selections:

"So I take it there are not many vegetarians in Iowa?"

I laughed and said, "I don't think so."

I have tried to find data on vegetarianism by state and came up dry. In a state where the hogs outnumber the people I'm inclined to believe our rate is lower than others but I don't know.

Stay strong Walter

Part of the reason my dinner tonight was not as good as it should have been is that I'm distracted by the news that Walter Cronkite is gravely ill. I found myself watching a dozen youtubes including the times he told the world JFK and Martin Luther King had been assassinated.

I burned my onions and had to go back to the store to get more. Watching the events unfold in the JFK segment - including Walter's reaction - sent a chill down my spine. It's worth burnt onions and 5:44 of your time.

Just a test

Go about your business, this is just a test. The post will be deleted later. If I'm going to continue to blog I must learn how trackbacks work.

http://haloscan.com/tb/jdeeth/1938750129964946622

Friends for dinner

It's the first time I've had more than three people over for dinner. It all went quite well. In typical fashion I made enough food for 20 people. The food was good, but not close to my best. If there was any nervousness it was in knowing that I'm from Iowa. Yes, we have people over for dinner in Iowa, but we generally lack the formalities of the Brits (on the left) or east coasters (on the right).

If they were offended by my gaffes (like no napkins) they put up a good front.

It also made me realize that I need to make certain items a permanent travel companion: The Coke placemats (barely visible in front of the guys in this pic) and my Coke napkins (back in the US) take up no room or weight in a suitcase. Now if I can only buy a second set of Coke silverware and dishware I'd be in business on both continents.

One of my guests demonstrated how short she can look!

I'm gonna tell the Sheik on you!

My attempts to cut and paste e-mails didn't work. So I'll summarize. (The summary will not do this post justice but every time I try post the e-mails the font becomes gigantic. Sorry, now the teaser will look overblown.)

A student sent an e-mail that she earned an A in my class but I gave her a C. Now she's going to get kicked out of the university for bad grades so she's going to take it to the Sheik in charge of education. She said she'd also take her case to the administration with the clear point that I should be fired.

I checked her final. She scored 35/100. Giving her a C was a gift, by points she deserved a D+. I e-mailed her the complete information and told her I did not appreciate the threat. I also CC:'d my boss.

Very shortly later my boss sent a strong rebuke telling the student to never threaten a professor this way and not to invoke the Sheik's name. (He didn't mention that she misspelled the Skeik's name.) The best line for me:

I personally have 100% confidence that Mr. Kranz is a fair instructor who has had an excellent performance this year.

I'm feeling all warm and tingly. That's not much of an exaggeration. I've been thinking today, "When's the last time I've had a good boss? One who's got my back?" The sad answer is never. I had a great chair at Hamilton - and she did her best to help - but she'd be the first to admit she had no power. She was smart enough to see the writing on the wall and got out.

Having a "I've got your back" boss is a wonderful feeling. Too bad I had to reach 40 before I realized how good it felt.

Teaser

I have received an unbelievable threat from a student who didn't like her grade. She's going to take her complaint to the ruling family. Unfortunately, she spelled the ruling family's name wrong. Anyhow, it's a great story that I won't have time to write about today because I'm hosting a dinner party tonight.

I posted a lot yesterday to keep 'ya busy!

Celery

It's the first time I've bought celery in this country. It's inferior and it's expensive. What you see above cost more than a bottle of gin.

Covering Iran

If you want to follow what's going on in Iran the best source is Andrew Sullivan. He's doing wall-to-wall coverage of everything that's going on... and he's getting a lot of his information by following Twitter.

Damn. It's hard to make fun of Twitter if the "tweets" bring down the Iranian government.

A year ago I was an American who thought every nation would be better off as a democracy and that all people yearn for democracy. Today I'm not so sure. If there was a secret ballot vote in this country, "Should the UAE be a democracy?" the proposition would fail 90-10 or even 95-5. People here see no need for elected leaders because the current ruling class is doing a good job. That's not public propaganda that's the behind-closed-doors assessment.

Also, they see the election of Hamas and Hezbollah in Gaza and Lebanon, the vote fraud in Iran, the fractious politics of Iraq. The response: "Democracy? Who needs it?"

Olive Garden drops Letterman

Here's what I posted on their company website:

Fifteen people show for a "Dump David Letterman" rally while his audience has grown by over 700,000 in the past week. Yet, Olive Garden has chosen to drop its sponsorship of the show.

I am so happy there is a Biaggi's across the street from Olive Garden in Cedar Rapids. This makes the decision where to go for Italian much easier.

You can weigh in here.

California carrots

Tomorrow I'm having a dinner party for the few remaining friends I have in this country. I'm making vegetable beef stew, pork chops with gravy, garlic-cheese-bacon-onion-mashed-potatoes, and Green Giant niblets sweet corn.

In other words, I'm making my favorite meal from home. The difference is the meat and corn. There's no Fareway pork or beef here and nothing compares to homegrown frozen sweetcorn.

Tonight I'm preparing all the vegetables for the soup. The carrots I bought came from California. The beef is from Austrailia and the pork from Egypt.

I never knew my Iowa-based meal could be so international.

Note to self: Avoid the liquor store on Thursday nights

Here's the front of the liquor store I mentioned back in March. Tonight it was the scene of chaos. The front area you see above was lined with SUV's honking their horns. (Emiratis do not go in the liquor store. They wait for the Indian workers to come take their order and money and bring the alcohol to them.) The side parking lot was full of cars like mine. Inside the store the line went 20 deep. I was the only westerner, the rest were Indian. Unlike a visit in February none of them were refused service.

Fridays are a holiday for most workers and the liquor store is closed. If these workers guys – all guys - want to live it up on their one day off they have to make the purchase tonight.

Two items were flying off the shelves: Cheap brandy and gin. Each bottle is 15 dirhams. How cheap is that? The Big Mac value meal is 16 dirhams!

Thought for the day - Hell

It is not surprising to me that the religions founded in this region view hell as a hot, burning place. Telling the masses, "Do as I say or you'll live for eternity in the heat of June" would be effective here.

If a religion was founded in Iowa I imagine hell would be that January day with temps below zero and a strong northerly wind...

Hell, part II

Field of Dreams has the famous exchange:
"Is this heaven?"
"No, it's Iowa."

Walking outside here the reverse could be asked:
"Is this hell?"
"No, it's the Emirates. It just feels like hell."

The fire Dave Letterman "crowd"

The planned protest of David Letterman had 15 people show up. Thirty five members of the media showed up to cover the gathering. The protesters proved they were a classy bunch hurling insults like calling his son a bastard and wife a slut. You can see the video here.

So a whopping 15 people attend the fire David Letterman rally, meanwhile Letterman's ratings have soared. Leno usually bested Letterman by 1 million viewers, on Monday Letterman beat Conan by 700,000.

In case you want to see "Fire the pervert - David "Sex offender" Letterman" you can go to their official website.

Keep the fake outrage alive and well!

Satellite options

These are satellite dishes running up the side of an apartment building in Abu Dhabi. Technically, the cable company monopoly is supposed to be the only game in town and satellite dishes are not allowed. I was naive when I arrived and signed up for cable. When I mentioned this to my students they gave me a look of disgust. It wasn't a look of confusion or humor, it was disgust... as in "How could anyone be that stupid."

*****
I have found remarkably good advice comes from readers of this blog. I hope the pattern remains true. In this country there's cable which has OK options for about $50/month and good options for about $120/month. So far that's close to the US.

For satellite there is no DirectTV or Dish Network. There are options to get the package of news stations with an upfront price of $200 and then paying about $50/month. The same type of package for the basic movie channels and the expanded movie channels costs about $100/month.

The DVR/Tivo is a new product here. I loved mine DVR back home. But the only way to get it here is to pay $600 upfront and $120/month. I'll consider that but, yeesh, that's even more than I paid for it back home.

The other option is "grey market." I think that's a polite way of saying illegal. It has the same $600 installation fee but you can get everything for about $40/month, but no DVR.

If I didn't love the DVR so much I'd jump at this option.

My question: Is it possible to hook a third party DVR/Tivo that would function anything close to one connected to the system... or would it be a glorified VCR? Are there other options I should be considering?

I wonder how to say "siesta" in Arabic

I'm not usually doing errands on a Wednesday afternoon and I guess that's a good thing. A good chunk of downtown is closed. The place I take my laundry, the barber shop, even the place I wanted to buy a satellite dish... all closed.

The fact traffic wasn't bad should have been a clue.

Coke Zero

Another news item from a week back: Venezuela blocked the sale of Coke Zero. Venezuela does a lot of stupid things so this shouldn't be surprising.

In the past year the government has nationalized several companies. The poor people of Venezuela have no idea how much these moves will hurt them in the long run. No sane company will expand operations in a country that pulls these stunts. It reminds me of the Maoists taking over Nepal...

... or the Obama's taking over D.C.

(Joking, of course, but I spent way too much time tonight reading Hannity's forum. The logical conclusion from reading these people is overthrowing the government and/or seceding.)

Weekend remainders

I know it's Tuesday, but it's the weekend for me.

Here's a list of inappropriate wedding songs.

Here are ways to annoy a flight attendant.

Another Republican uses the demographic changes in America to point to doom for his party.

Is your right index finger the same length as your right ring finger? If so, you're probably gay. It's supposedly scientific, but it didn't work for me.

And finally, most people don't pay attention to the sign language interpreter. In this case, she's hilarious.

June 16th

Today was supposed to be the day I flew home. Thanks to summer school that's been pushed back six weeks. Although I'd love to be on the way to Dubai right now for my evening flight, I'm OK with staying here. The extra income will allow me to pay off some debt and get a new roof for the house.

I haven't been posting much the last few days because I have been busy. I had little to do for two weeks and then, bamm! all of my finals came at the end of finals week. A colleague deserted us, leaving her finals to grade as well. I'm just glad to have it over.

Tonight I'll be tracking Delta flight 7. I'll watch the plane that was supposed to be taking me home. I'll try not to cry.

Cocaine, heroin and quaaludes!

This site shows ads from the days when many drugs were still legal. My favorite is the relaxed mom on quaaludes.

Pork chops

I have checked the pork shop twice a week since the swine flu epidemic. Today, for the first time, they had pork chops. Two. I'd like to have friends over for dinner at the end of the week.

"Do you have any other pork chops?"

"We have these pork chops, sir."

"I appreciate that. If I wanted to buy five pork chops do you have it?"

"Oh, no, sir, we have these two."

I guess I'm not serving pork.

Am I a "great" uncle or just "grand"?

A facebook friend has taken me to task for claiming I'm a great uncle given that my sister's daughter has given birth. To my friend I should be a "grand" uncle. I have never heard the term "grand uncle" but I like it. Why should my sister get to be "Grandma" while I have to be the "great uncle"?

Meanwhile, plenty of pictures have been posted of the little guy and I swear I get a buddhist-zen quality looking at them. In the family relations tree I can see the Hiscock and Simpson family, but I don't see the Kranz family. I'm not complaining. Diana did the British royal family a great service by upgrading their gene pool. I think Gina's done the same for ours!

That leaves the larger question: Am I a "great" or "grand" uncle?

One of those better days...

In the past 24 hours I have been a grading machine: Over 150 finals graded and grades submitted for four classes. Two more to go tomorrow...

I also had my performance evaluation. What an amazing experience. I had forgotten what it was like to have a boss who understands teaching. He also taught for a decade in the US so he knew just how much I was a fish out of water.

He said he was surprised my student evaluations were as high as they were. "Last semester you made every student retake the midterm and not one of them complained on the evaluations." I said, "Really? Not even the comments in Arabic?" He assured me the Arabic comments were all positive.

At the end of this semester I look back on my year here and shudder to think how green and naive I was upon arrival. Back then I thought, "Oh, teaching will be the easy part. Getting used to the culture will be hard." In reality it's been the exact opposite. Students saw the newbie and it was like I had jumped in a pool of piranhas.

The word "shudder" above is accurate. I honestly shake as I think of the various ways students played me last term. "Steep learning curve" doesn't begin to describe this experience! I told my boss that I had hoped for a "Most improved" award at our departmental dinner. He laughed and said I shouldn't feel bad about a semester of adjustment. It takes some people years.

****
Now that grades are in the parade of tears continues to phase II. The e-mails have already started, "Sir, sir, please give me a better grade. I'm only 3 points from a higher grade. You must help me, sir."

My inbox has over 200 e-mails for the past ten days. Sadly, that's no exaggeration. And, sadly, for my students I really have become cold-hearted bastard.

The excuses of last fall are humorous to me now. The "(Sir) (Dr.) Steve" that got played last fall will take just a bit more work from now on.... Not a lot, (I'm still an easy mark) but a bit more work...

Question of the day

How much cologne must a student wear for his test to carry the scent ten hours later?

At least it was a good cologne. (No Stetson for the Emiraties!)

Back to grading...

I'm a great uncle!

My niece gave birth to Thomas Henry Hiscock this morning. According Grandma (my sister) both mother and father are doing well. Gina's been posting tons of pictures on facebook and she's been looking ready to pop for months.

*****
I have to stay away from the computer. I have tons of grading to do and I don't know that I've ever felt this level of procrastination before...

Inundated

Compared to last semester, this one was a breeze. In the future, I do need to make one adjustment: Telling students that a flurry of e-mails at the end of the semester will not only get no reply, they won't be read.

I have received over 100 e-mails in the past four days with grade related pleas. One student has sent more than ten. In the US I'd consider a restraining order. Another scanned her transcript showing a D+ grade point with an explanation as to why I have to give her an A.

Most of my colleagues are done. Finals graded, grades posted and a trip to the airport. My final exam schedule was five of my six finals in the last two days, today and tomorrow. With their other grades already in that gives my students time to perseverate in their pleas to me.

Yippee.

Sarah takes the bait

For us Democrats seeing Bush and Cheney depart was bitter-sweet. The duo plunged the Republican brand to record lows. Even Nixon left the Republican party more popular than these guys.

We Democrats wondered, "Who could we make fun of when they are gone?" Then John McCain picked Sarah Palin. She's the gift that keeps on giving. On Today she continued her attack on Letterman, claiming again that Letterman joked her 14 year old daughter should be raped.

This is so beyond any sort of reason that it gives me the shakes.

Please let me know how this story is playing in Peoria, or more likely, Cedar Rapids. It strikes me as one of the greatest over-reaches since Terry Schiavo. The difference now is that Palin is side show circus act. Back then it was more scary because they were in charge.

Update: I don't like the title of this post. It implies that she was setup. That's the cry of Republicans for the Charlie Gibson and Katie Couric interviews. Apparently, asking someone what newspapers they read is a setup. Anyhow, Letterman didn't bait her. He made jokes. She chose to feign outrage and make accusations with zero grounding in reality.

Republicans: Just not getting it

In the same week Obama proves he understands pop culture by ordering the top US general in Iraq to shave Stephen Colbert's head, Sarah Palin proves she is just clueless.

I am a 30 year fan of David Letterman. I watched his morning show before he switched to late night when I was in seventh grade. I don't think I missed a single Monday - Thursday episode through my senior year of HS. (Friday Night Videos aired on NBC for those of us without MTV. I know many readers of my era now suddenly feel old as we remember gathering around the TV's on a Friday night for the latest Prince video.)

This is Letterman at his best explaining - in his self-deprecating manner - what he does.

The Palin's are frickin' clueless.  Here’s her response via Fox News:

Sarah Palin responded Thursday morning to Dave's invitation to appear on his show in a statement to Foxnews.com: ""The Palins have no intention of providing a rating's boost for David Letterman by appearing on his show," the statement read. "Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman."

Delta update

I sent a note to Delta explaining what happened and I received a personal - not automated - response. The ticket's been changed and I'll be flying out late on July 28, arriving 6AM on July 29 in Atlanta. I'll spend the day there, hopefully visiting with my friends Matt & Jennifer. If they can't get off work I'm sure I can find something to do in the city. Another visit to the Coke store sounds good.

I board the plane to Iowa around 8 and get back to CR at 9:20.

I tried to put up the countdown clock that I used all last fall. Unfortunately, I can't find a decent one now. Today is 48 days from departure. 48 days. I left Iowa 126 days ago so it's definitely the downhill (very hot) slide from here.

Of course, if you are making summer plans do your outdoor activities in June and July. I'm a weather jinx. As you may recall it was -29 the day I arrived January... the weather was miserable while I was in Iowa... and it zoomed up to 58 right after I left.

Student Evaluations

Today I received my student evaluations from the fall semester. I could have received them earlier if I had asked for them, but given how the fall semester went, I was in no hurry to get them.

The numbers were fine - pretty much at the university average. I'm used to better evaluations but, again, given the problems I had I am stunned they turned out this well. The comments are always are my favorite. I'll give a sample here copied and pasted exactly as they wrote them.

The good:

• SIR STEVEN IT IS THE BUST SIR FAR AS I CAN SAY FOR HIM .
• I LOVE THIS SUBJUCTIVE COUZ OF HIM
• he is fantastic
• THIS SIR IS THE BEST
• He is honestly the best teacher ever and you will know this from other students as well.

The bad:

• for me their is no thing positive in this course

A quarter of the comments were in Arabic. I suspect there were more negative ones in there.

The huh?:

• learn new english word
• hoe to become trust
• teacher is very cool he love his students as thire brother

And my favorite:

• need to take the lecture more seriously and stop drinking while explaning

I can’t believe I’ve been busted. I thought I kept my drinking secret!

My first Fox video

And it’s a good one!  Really!  No sarcasm, but then I’ve been up for 22 hours now…  I think I’ve mentioned this before:  IShepard Smith is gunning for a job at a different network.  If he keeps saying stuff like this he doesn’t have a future at Fox.

It reminded of a conversation with Spellman after the Oklahoma City bombing.  He said, “This is a logical conclusion to the right wing radio.  If you are told day after day the government is corrupt, they are out to get you, etc., it makes sense to blow up a federal building.”

I don’t want to see the US impose hate speech laws like Europe but the nutcases out there need to be held accountable.

I know I, for one, am still waiting for Obama to announce that he’s a Muslim and that Islam is the new state religion.  I got at least a dozen e-mails before the election promising me it would happen.

Customer service

I haven't missed the US this much since my early homesick days last August. Here's the story:

In trying to get my ticket changed I was told by the Dubai office I couldn't because I bought:
- a 90 day ticket with restrictions
- the ticket had already been reissued once
- only the travel agency I used to buy it could do anything for me

First, I departed the US on Feb. 5 with plans to return on June 16. That's 4 1/2 months, not 90 days. I have NOT had the ticket reissued and lastly, I booked on the internet. "No, you couldn't have booked this ticket on the internet, sir." Really? I have never spoken to travel agent in my life...

The second two points were wrong but it's hard for me to prove my case. The first problem was easy: How could I have purchased a 90 day ticket for travel that is 131 days apart?

Agent: Sir, I cannot change a 90 day restricted ticket.
Me: You do realize that it could NOT have been a 90 day ticket given my dates of travel.
Agent: But it is a 90 day ticket sir.
Me: You don't see the flaw in the logic there?

I went several rounds on this.

*****
Tonight I called the Delta number in the US. It took about ten minutes to reach a human being but once I did I explained my problem. She said, "Oh, well, clearly it's not a 90 day ticket... The coding is close but it is not the same. They just didn't look carefully enough."

The agent put notes on the account and cleared it up for me. Tomorrow I get to call the Dubai office again to have the new ticket issued and pay a $200 reprocessing fee... which is what I expected. I thanked the agent and signed up for Delta Frequent Flyer miles. (The direct Atlanta-Dubai flight is soo much better than a layover in Europe.)

*****
I cannot believe how conditioned one gets living in a land where the customer service sucks. It is like living with an abusive spouse; you have to mentally psych yourself up going into these situations. I don't really blame the workers. They work very long hours for low pay and have virtually no training. That doesn't make it any less frustrating.

A couple of weeks ago Ann and I had a waitress that was great. We tipped her well and Ann made a point of seeking out the manager. She told him, "I have lived in the Emirates for eight years. She's the best waitress I've had in all that time." I can't believe that I've grown accustomed to incidents like the 3 hour dinner at Chili's because our non-busy waiter ignored us, the Subway workers who refuse to put onions on before they toast my sub and not able to give me a good reason why not, or buying something defective and being told they couldn't exchange or refund it.

Of course, don't get me started about the eternal light.

*****
At the end of the call tonight I thanked the agent and asked for her name. I am definitely sending an e-mail to Delta. Beverly Lee at the Dallas call center saved one very irate customer and made him miss home more than he thought possible.

I'm rich...

Ever have one of those visits to the ATM and find yourself stunned by the balance? For me that's rarely a good experience. Today I choked as I took out a couple hundred dirhams. The university had paid me my June, July, and August pay. To say I've never had this much money in my bank account would be an understatement. I've never dreamed of having this much money in my bank account.

But, I have to try to do something I've never been so good at: Budgeting. Because the next paycheck doesn't come until September 30.

I still have no idea when or how much I'll be paid for summer school. I've asked many people and the various formulas I've been told are hilariously different. The lowball prediction is $4000 less than the highball prediction. The lowball number is good, the highball number is "do cartwheels in the street" good.

Of course, I'd end up in traction if I tried to do a cartwheel.

... and I'm screwed!

I've been going round and round with Delta about changing my ticket from June 16 to July 28. I expected to have to pay a fee. I didn't expect to be told, "No." According to the office in Dubai and London and there is no way I can change my ticket.

Tonight I'm going to Ann's to use her Skype to call Atlanta. Wish me luck. I'd rather not have to eat a $600 ticket.

Attention all Iowans. We are at war. For the sake of the state please step up and do your part

For years Minnesota and Iowa and Wisconsin have gone round and round over what foods can be served on a stick. Wisconsin's entry this year is chocolate covered bacon. We should be scared. I've tried it. I made it myself. It's damn good. The Minnesotans are stealing our pork chop on a stick so we need a new gimmick. We MUST redouble our efforts.

Who is on vacation in Hawaii?

Apparently, one of my faithful readers is on vacation in Hawaii and checking into the blog from the Radisson. I'm jealous. And I like my jealousy to have a focus, so please tell me who you are... send a few pics of Hawaii and I'll put them up on the blog.

Obama orders Colbert’s head shaved

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Obama Orders Stephen's Haircut - Ray Odierno
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Stephen Colbert in Iraq

I appreciate a president in touch with enough of pop culture to pull off this gag.

One for three in the plant department

I've been given three plants as housewarming gifts. I don't think I could have killed the front two faster if I had tried. The one in back is doing well... so far.

I had this plant in back while working in Norfolk, Nebraska. Occasionally it needed to be trimmed and dead leaves removed. It had grown to be huge. One day I was in the office for about an hour before I realized the plant had been massacred. From large and bushy it had been trimmed down about four leaves.

The guy on the overnight shift had OCD and many, many other issues. Once he started trimming he couldn't stop.

I hope this plant has a better fate.

The garage sale furnished living room.

I'm not a fan of garage sales in the US. Most of the items are junk and there's something depressing about them. Here people come and go so much that one can buy quality furniture at bargain prices.

Everything but the Buddha eyes and the curtains came from garage sales.

The Coke refrigerator has been recharged and there's two cases of Coke Zero in there now. The guys will eventually fix the light and clean the rusty shelves. I can't imagine what makes an apartment more complete than having your very own Coke refrigerator.

You may notice that the "eternal light" in the top center of the picture is off. That's not because it is fixed. I switched off the fuse that powers the light. They actually called on Monday with an offer to come fix it. I was proctoring finals and couldn't leave.

On the right side of the picture is a stack of newspapers. During Obama's middle east visit I bought all the newspapers I could to see how it was being covered here. I meant to do a post about it. To summarize, it could not have been received better.

Thought for the day

Don't you hate it when you have to call your maid to find out where she put stuff that you were too lazy to put away yourself?

Living here is very different than my pump my own gas life in the US...

No college? Good luck.

Courtesy of Andrew Sullivan...

The recession is hitting those with less education much harder. The unemployment rate for those without a high school diploma is three times the rate for those with a Bachelor's degree. The eye popper for me is this quote from David Leonhardt:

"The pay gap between college graduates and everyone else, for instance, reached a record high last year. Four-year-college graduates made 54 percent more, on average, than people who attended college but did not graduate. Fifty-four percent!"

The sad fact is that this will force many who are "not college material" to make an attempt, perhaps the third or fourth attempt, at college. In the end they won't get a degree but will be saddled with tens of thousands in debt.

I genuinely liked the student population at Hamilton. Generally speaking, they were students who didn't go to college right out of HS... got pregnant... went to college but drank too much, flunked out and now realize the need for a college degree, etc. Most had jobs while going to school. It was great teaching where students had real life experience to add to the classroom.

But then there the students that just couldn't cut it. They'd try... try very hard and still miss 22 out of 25 on a multiple choice quiz (law of averages says they should have done better by guessing.) Rather than refund their money and wish them well Hamilton/Kaplan would switch them to an easier program. One student who failed each and every weekly quiz in my management class was transferred to the Medical Assisting program where she (miraculously) graduated near a 3.0.

That's not progress; it's a diploma mill. Those of us on faculty would repeat the stories of our successes as a way to make ourselves feel better for those we knew were screwed.

One of those meaningless days

I left home at 7:15 this morning and just got home at 9:15PM. It was a very long day of proctoring tests and doing various errands. I don't like these days. Out for 14 hours and all I have to show for it is a headache.

I had only two students break down and cry during my final. I really have become a cold hearted bastard because I wasn't moved even a tiny bit.

I also proctored a stats exam. I read the test and if I had had to take it I would have been the one crying. I can't believe how much I have forgotten. I was reading the questions thinking, "I think I knew how to do this once upon a time..."

An ode to Chip: Nerd is now cool

A while back I posted an explanation of Geek vs. nerd with reasoning that I'm a geek, not nerd. In my heart I knew it was a cop out. It's a like a guy telling his wife he's bi to get acceptance of his attraction to other men. In reality he's saying, "I'm gay, sorry I tried to fake it with you."
Chip sent this piece below. He's politely telling me I'm more of a nerd than I'd care to admit. Geeks, denying there inner nerddom are the same way. I celebrate and applaud Chip. A nerd who accepts who he is. His post on my blog brought me to tears in laughter:

We (my people) have forsaken "geek" and moved onto nerd to describe ourselves... The reason is that geek became chic, and now people who just feel like they are unique consider themselves geeks. Those people don't deserve to call themselves "our" word... We were beaten and made fun of for years and called that name in a hateful tone, now everyone wants to use the word.

On behalf of the downtrodden I should happily accept the label nerd.

Oh, but I don't have to, as the nobel laurette says, we are all nerds now.

I'm staying a geek.

Cold hearted bastard

That would be me.

The university has a rule: If you miss more than four classes (two weeks) you are kicked out of the class. I'm not a fan of using attendance as a marker but it's a university rule and since their education is free I have no problem with it.

Last semester I had almost a dozen students coming to me in tears. For those with five or six absences I did a huge amount of paperwork to get the absences reversed so they could get credit for the class.

This term I gave two freebies. After that if the student hit five they were done. At least four of my students were *shocked* that they were ineligible to take the final. One stopped me in the hall.

Student: Sir, you marked me absent 15% now I can't take the final.
Me: Yes?
Student: Who do I have to get a signature from?
Me: Nobody.
Student: So I can take the final.
Me: No, you went over the college limit.
Student: But sir, I can get a note from _______.
Me: It doesn't matter. I can't change it now if I wanted to. I gave everyone two freebies so you must have missed at least seven classes and you know the rule. Good luck the next time you take the course.

And I walked away.

Racist vs. racialist

Am I the only person who never heard the term "racialist" before the Sotomayor nomination? Republicans, like Newt Gingrich, have taken to saying, "I don't know if she's racist but she's racialist."

What does that mean? There's no sarcasm here. I honestly have no idea what "racialist" means.

Perhaps Republicans have trouble with suffixes. They all have to say "Democrat Party" instead of "Democratic Party." (For those keeping score, Rush started using the term "Democrat party" long before anyone else. Now it is a Republican testament of faith to use the term. Even our beloved Senator Grassley - that I praise way too much on this blog - says it.)

Tweet of the day - Chuck Grassley

(The quotes below are copied and pasted from the source, unfortunately. Being an Iowan proud of our educational system I'd prefer not to have our elected officials write "skedul" and "delivr")

Our state's senior senator is not happy with the president. Today he sent these two tweets:

"Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us 'time to deliver' on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND."

and

"Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said 'time to delivr on healthcare' When you are a 'hammer' u think evrything is NAIL I'm no NAIL."

That's senatorial speak for, "I'm pissed." On this one I think it is probably justified. The White House announcing that the president has to sweep in to save the health care debate while he's on a date night with Michelle in Paris was pretty stupid. This White House doesn't commit many errors but this was one.

To the bigger point: Grassley is the ranking Republican on the Finance committee. One of his closest friends is the Democratic Chair of the committee, Max Baucus. They honestly do want to work together to create a health care bill. On this one I give Grassley very high marks. He's not like the other Republicans who say they want to work together but in the end only want to scuttle any deal. (Remember, Grassley stood very lonely among Republicans supporting health care for children.)

The bill to come out of the Finance committee is not one my side will like. It probably will have no option for you to buy a plan from the government (like Medicare). The Health committee with Kennedy and Dodd will likely be the plan my side will like... but... Obama has made it clear that he absolutely must have bipartisan support for the healthcare bill. The Kennedy bill won't get it. A Baucus-Grassley bill would.

Paraphrasing the president here: There is no need for the perfect to get in the way of the good. I hope we have the opportunity to buy from the government. I know my parents' medicare beat the hell out of Medical Savings Accounts I had with Kaplan. But even if we don't get a public option this is one bill that has to move forward. The nation can't get out of the Great Recession without it. Also, my party can't go into 2010 without delivering on this issue. In 1993-1994 the Democrats created a circular firing squad on the issue of health care. The result? The Republicans took congress. That absolutely cannot happen again.

Weekend remainders

First, a little relief... I was disturbed to hear that Michelle Obama was switching her Chief of Staff. Why? Her Chief of Staff is an Iowan whose husband almost toppled Tom Latham a couple of years back. It turns out that the Iowan wasn't booted and her and Michelle are still close. In many presidencies, the First Lady's actions are hardly relevant. Not this one.

No pinko, commie lover here, but I have to say it is refreshing to see a political leader call a corrupt business leader on the carpet. If you want to want to see a businessman publicly humiliated you gotta watch this.

Conservatives are more easily disgusted than liberals. If you listen to O'Reilly, Hannity or Rush you know they are also more easily outraged.

According to The Gazette, Kurt Warner has produced an emotional video highlighting Cedar Rapids businesses ravaged by last year's flood. The problem is that they don't provide a link and I can't find it on youtube. Please let me know if you can find it.

When too much customer service is a bad thing

When the guys were hooking up the dishwasher I asked for a hose that I could place in the drain when I use it. I figured I'd be running this thing once a week at most so the rest of the time I'd have the hose tucked away next to the machine. But, no, my McGyver gave me a more permanent solution.

Now I have PVC pipe running across the floor in my kitchen.

When covered with a rug it's hardly noticeable.

Tomorrow's task is to fix the Coke machine and install a light lantern I bought in Nepal. Slowly but surely the place is coming together.

1000 posts

1000 posts is a milestone. Last August I figured I'd start the blog, reassure everyone that I was safe and all was well in the UAE and I'd stop. Instead, the blogging pace picked up and with March Madness there were 163 posts - pretty much 5 per day. I've tried to calm down a bit since then.

So if you are one of the very few who has actually read all 1000 posts... wow. I have no idea what to say.

For this momentous occasion I present to you:

A giant milkweed.

Growing up on a farm in Iowa we spent a good part of our summers walking soybean fields to kill the weeds. (Today they've developed better herbicides and nobody "walks the beans" anymore.) The two worse plants to come across were cockle bur plants and milkweeds. Cockle burs had to be pulled up by hand because they'd grow back. Milkweeds were disgusting because of the sticky milky substance you'd get all over your hands.

I had no know idea the plant could grow to the size of a tree.

The branches are like wood. The window to the right is the back of one of my classrooms. While I'm giving a lecture I gaze at the giant milkweed. Occasionally, I break my train of thought by thinking, "That's one big frickin' milkweed. Oh, right, back to break-even analysis..."

The dangers of buying porn with your Bud Light

Courtesy:  Andrew Sullivan

Cedar Rapids is famous! For its clouds?

Photo from the Gazette...

I first heard of our new claim to fame from Ann's British friends. They had heard about this new cloud type and that this cloud was seen over Cedar Rapids in 2006.

I remember when these clouds hung over the city. This picture doesn't do it justice. I likened it to the fake clouds at the end of Ghostbusters. People poured out of offices and homes all around Cedar Rapids to get a look. Few of us would have been surprised if the sky had opened up to invaders from Mars. It was that freaky.

Click on the Gazette link above. The other photos by Jane Wiggins are much better.