At the counter there are 3 guys who appear to work there. All three start going off about gay marriage, using profanity loudly and using words referencing gays in a terrible way, and the worst part was, they didnt care how many customers were in the store or who heard it. It made my girlfriend uncomfortable so we left. To me they looked like 3 dudes that were rather redneck. I shrugged it off as they looked like three guys who could have easily lived with their grandma's and haven't amounted to anything else other than a sports shop worker in a mall so I didn't think much of it.Two thoughts: 1. This was not part of a rural "hick" town in Iowa. 2. Imagine the 3 guys in the store making racial, sexual or Hispanic jokes. Those jokes are still told but now they are told behind closed doors.
But then the more I think about it, I hope this isn't the majority thought on the subject.
Bashing gays publicly is still acceptable.
No, it's not. It is NOT acceptable. And I hope that your friend has the guts to call that store and ask to speak to a supervisor and explain how uncomfortable he and his girlfriend were made to be in that store by those comments. That WILL get results - if people are leaving a store and not buying because of rude comments employees are making - well they can't afford to lose business! I would guess your friend was not the only ones made uncomfortable and left either.
ReplyDeleteMost people are not as brazen as I am when it comes to speaking up when I think something is wrong. I don't care HOW big those guys were - I would have gone over and said that I am very offended by their remarks and if they don't care - they SHOULD. Because I am a paying customer who is not going to be buying anything because of their incredible rudeness. And their manager would be hearing about it from me ASAP. And s/he certainly WOULD hear it from me!
I guess what I'm saying is that it's acceptable only if we let it be acceptable and don't speak up. Those guys are not going to change their mind - they are the type that would vote for an amendment. But, you might change people's minds who HEAR you talking. That's what education is all about. I do this (speaking up and educating) in regard to children with special needs all the time. I guess I've reached an age (joke all you want) - where I just don't give a damn any more. No one is going to talk like that around me or my kids!
BTW, is the title of your blog going to be changed to "True Blue Iowan who fears that Iowa will soon pass an anti-gay marriage amendement?" I guess that's too long of a title, huh? I know you're trying to prove your point - but it is really too soon to tell how Iowans are going to react. I hope they surprise you! You do realize you're preaching to the choir here? I think almost everyone who comments on your blog is on your side!
I could never delude myself enough to believe the readers of this blog are an appropriate cross-section of the electorate!
ReplyDeleteBut it's a nice thought.
I would've taken down the names of the employees, asked to speak to the manager, then gotten the name/address of the district manager and corporate headquarters. I can write some pretty scathing letters. There might have even been a letter to the editor headed toward the Register. It's too easy to lose customers today, and any competent manager should know that it's things like this that make all the difference in the world.
ReplyDeleteAnd had I been their manager, I would've fired them on the spot.
Exactly denise! If I didn't get an appropriate response from the manager, I definitely would go up the corporate ladder. It is not good business (or good values in general) to be bashing any group of people.
ReplyDeleteSteve, apparently I wasn't clear in what I was saying. I was trying to be nice (I know - how unlike me!). Perhaps I should have a few Captain Morgans (although I have to pick my kids up from school and that's NOT a good idea) and just say it.
ENJOY THIS! Stop being a doomsayer for two minutes and live in the moment. For at least two years, Iowa is going to allow gay people to MARRY! And hopefully in that time frame, Iowans will realize the world has not ended and gone to hell because of it.
I guess what I meant about almost all of us being on your side - is that WE GET IT. ENOUGH ALREADY. I can't believe I'm saying this (because I am usually accused of this on a daily basis) - YOU WORRY TOO MUCH!
Are there homophobic people out there? Of course! Most people aren't going to be so blatant about it - but it's there. Does that mean that we should sit back and mope because the Iowa Supreme Court did something RIGHT? NO WAY!
Iowa made a huge statement to the rest of the country and I loved this quote from an NYT article:
"The Iowa Supreme Court’s ruling for gay marriage is a refreshing
message of fairness that makes the decisions to ban same-sex unions in states like New York seem all the more shameful...."
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/05/opinion/05sun3.html
My nephew sent me the link last night. Even if this gets overturned in a few years - this was a HUGE thing for Iowa to do. And I think it woke at least some of the country up.
Okay, I'm off my soapbox for now.
I totally agree with both of you. Steve, you tend to go on and on about things, on occasion, and all it accomplishes is to take the joy out of the celebration the rest of us are enjoying. Carpe Diem, my friend. The glass is half full. Enjoy it and try thinking positive. Not everyone in Iowa is a Steve King.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I, too, would have spoken up in that store and my fingers would have been flying over the keyboard getting the letter written. I would have addressed it to the store manager and copied it all the way up to corporate headquarters. I am sure the salesperson would lose their job, and the store manager probably would, too. Clearly the store training did not deal with this sort of situation, but one would have to question the intelligence or common sense of the sales person who not only allowed a conversation of this type to continue but seemingly participated in it.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter is critical of me for letter writing and speaking my mind. I wonder what she would have done in this situation. I think I shall cut and paste and send your post to her, Steve, and see.