Religions may be different, but the sexes remain the same

Bad week

My car is far from the worst event of the week. In fact, with friends dealing with losing their jobs, forced relocations to the equivalent of Ottumwa, terminal cancer, another in hospice last stage of cancer... I arguably had the best week of most of my friends in this part of the world.

Here's to a better week this week and I'll start it off by saying, "Happy birthday, Dad!"

Pets vs. kids

Tonight's next two posts are proof that I spent too much time reading the Daily What?

The force is strong in that one

You can hear it already, "Whatchyou talkin' about Yoda?"

But, sir!

I work at a university where attendance is taken seriously - four absences in a class and you are kicked out* - but the application of that rule vary greatly. I've found a comfortable spot.

First approach: Student is in class on time (or within five minutes)

******

Interesting. I posted this on Thursday. Today it says I posted it on Friday and deleted most of the post. Odd.

Suffice to say I use attendance on time as participation points in my classes. At the end of the semester those that came late all semester are very upset at my "unfair" rule.

Fascinating

If you are interested in the place I work here is an interesting article. Amazingly, simply amazingly, the guy running this university felt the need to respond in the comments section.

There's oh so many comments I would like to make but if you read the article you will understand why I won't.

"Your job will be eliminated, here are your options"

Friends of mine teaching English were gathered together today. In summary they were told:

"The program is ending. After next year there may not be any jobs. What few there are will only last another year. You can pick up your life and transfer but there's no guarantee you'll have that job for more than another year or two, but at least you'll have your foot in the door there so they will be more likely to keep you.

If you choose to stay there may be a few internal openings, but there are absolutely no guarantees. You'll have a job in the fall semester and probably spring but, again, no guarantees. Take your time deciding if you want to move. In fact, we'll give you four days to decide your fate. Good luck!"

The places they have the option of moving to are not as good as here. For an Iowan it would be like being told you have a job offer in Ottumwa or Sioux City.

If I were in their shoes I don't know what I would do and I don't know what would help me decide in four days.

It just keeps getting worse

Facing possible life imprisonment, the rape victim now says it never happened. Why would any woman report a rape facing that? The National newspaper basically asks that question.

My nemesis: 200

Am I on a diet? Really? I've been hanging around 200 I feel like I should buy him a drink or have him arrested for stalking.

In three weeks I fly home. Today I weighed in at 201. I can blame it on drinking water... which is has some truth since I'm downing 2 liters+ every day in this heat... but it's also too convenient. I've been good: Small, low-carb meals. There's no reason why I'm not still losing weight.

Ugh.

Karim

Tomorrow later today (it's after midnight) I am headed to Dubai to visit a college friend. I haven't seen him since 1993.

I found a Stone Grill in Dubai. If any of you ever come to visit I will take you to one. There is nothing like it in the US and due to the liability of some careless person burning themselves I don't think there ever will be one in the US. I plan to take Karim.

Duke Ellington band

I didn't bring my camera... wish I would have... this IPhone pic will have to suffice...

For the first time in the middle east...

The Duke Ellington band performed tonight. It was fantastic. I've never heard a big band performing live. Amaaaazing!

Female students sat in the balcony and talked (loudly) during the entire performance. The same thing happened during a performance last year. I was sooo embarrassed. You could see the performers looking up with an expression of "WTF?" At the end the lead singer looked at the head musician to ask, "Encore?" The head musician's eyes darted back and forth... no.

I'm sure the band of 17 with entourage were paid well to fly over here and perform. This audience didn't deserve the show it got, let alone an encore.

Another cool summer?

Seeing that eastern Iowa is expecting highs in the upper 80's and lower 90's in the next few days I wondered, "What kind of summer am I headed home for?"

Fortunately, the National Weather Service says it shouldn't be too bad.

We are forecast to have temps below normal for the months of June, July and August. That will make 2,900,000 Iowans happy and a few -like my sister Miriam - unhappy.

Walkin' it back

Imagine you have a friend who sleeps around a lot. In the course of conversation you make a joke about your friend being a slut. She bursts out in tears. "No, no, I didn't mean it," you say unconvincingly. "You don't really sleep with that many people..."

It's too late; the damage is done.

This story is political and personal.

First the political story: Rand Paul is the new nominee for the senate in Kentucky - hero of the Tea Party. The night after his election he went on Rachel Maddow's show and said some pretty interesting things... like employers should be free to discriminate. His campaign spent the next two days saying that he didn't really mean what he said. The bad news is that he had said it more than once.

And then he cancelled an appearance on Meet The Press.

*****

Now the personal: Yesterday a friend said something that hurt my feelings. I won't elaborate but I will use the scenario above. Speaking in a nonchalant manner a friend calls you a slut and then repeats it a few hours later. You don't burst out in tears but it hurts.

To my friend's credit it was not stated in malice, it was stated as fact. (This is the same friend who commented more than once that I was fat and helped lead me to the diet.)

When he realized how incredibly hurt I was he attempted over and over to walk it back. He apologized profusely and said the equivalent of "you're not that much of a slut."

I accept his apology and know that he really, really did not mean to hurt me.

However, as Rand Paul has learned some things just can't be walked back.

KFC's Double Down

This monstrosity to diets nation-wide was supposed to end long before I returned home. Fortunately for me (and unfortunately for obesity in America) they are now planning to keep it on the menu.

Robin Hood

I went to the movie with two British friends. After the movie my first question was, "So did it bother you that all the "English men" were played by Aussies and Americans?"

The response? Not really, we're used to it. The bad writing was much more troublesome.

I can understand why Robin Hood has become a rallying cry for the Tea Party. This Robin Hood didn't really fight the rich to give to the poor. This Robin Hood fought for (and in Robin Hood 2 against) a strangely Arab looking king whose heavy handed control was destroying the nation. The only way the movie could have been more analogous to the current Tea Party would have been to claim that the king was really born in Kenya.

Reading the tea leafs

Yesterday was a huge day politically. The headlines were Specter losing in Pennsylvania and Rand Paul winning in Kentucky. In both cases the establishment-backed candidates lost. After his attack on Anita Hill during the Clarence Thomas hearings I would have hard time being a good Democrat and voting for him (assuming, of course, that I lived in Pennsylvania). The tea partiers helped libertarian Rand Paul crush his opponent in Kentucky. Kentucky is very Republican so the odds are not good for my party but Paul is pretty much a nut-case like his father.

I wonder what Chuck Grassley thought last night. He saw his friend Arlen Specter lose and he saw a future Republican colleague (Paul) win. At one time Grassley was considered a solid conservative but compared to Paul he's a flaming liberal. That has to make Chuck a wee-bit uncomfortable.

*******

The best news for Democrats was the special election in Pennsylvania. McCain won the district. It looked ripe for the Republicans to pick it off. Make no mistake, this is going to be a bad year for my party... but I've grown sick of the hysterics on my side (and the premature gloating on the other side).

2010 is not 1994. And Obama is not Clinton.

A big day in politics - Iowa edition

99% of my readers can move to the next post. I'm pretty sure I have only one follower who would want to read this...

I confess I'm bummed I wasn't able to go to Biden's event with Culver today. Had I been in CR I would have been there. Fortunately, John Deeth live-blogged the event.

A big day in politics

Today Arlen Specter may see his political career end. He may lose the Democratic primary in Pennsylvania. If he loses he’ll be the second sitting senator to lose his party’s nomination: Utah Tea Partiers took out their Republican senator. His 100% conservative voting record wasn’t conservative enough for them.

Scandals are brewing across the nation. First, the Democrat who had the election all but won in Connecticut appears to have lied about serving in Vietnam.

My favorite clueless politician is a woman running for the senate in Nevada. A month ago she suggested that better healthcare reform would be to return to barter. She literally suggested exchanging chickens for a doctor’s services! That wasn’t enough to bump her out of first place in the Republican primary. Now it turns out that a supporter bought a campaign bus and gave it to her campaign. (That violates all kinds of campaign finance laws…)

A day of scandals wouldn’t be complete unless a family values conservative was caught with his fly down. But good news! At least this time it was straight (extra-marital) sex.

Now here’s the kicker: You can see the woman he was boning in the video below. The topic? Abstinence.

I know most people find politics boring. I don’t. This better than a soap opera!

The consequences of reporting rape

Consensual sex by unmarried people is not allowed here.

A woman had consensual sex with a guy in his car. He called five friends who came and gang raped her. She went to the police. The men have been charged with rape and the woman has been charged with having consensual sex outside of marriage. You can read the story here.

One little letter

I proofed a paper for a former student. Afterwards he sent the message, "I own you."

I'm gonna assume he meant "owe." But then again, maybe he thinks I'm his bitch.

Low carb diet recipes

My friend Joan asked what are my favorite five easy recipes on the low carb diet.

In combining "easy" and "favorite" there is one clear winner: Buy low sugar tomato sauce (available on the bottom shelf at Wal-Mart), a portobello mushroom, feta cheese, pine nuts and oregano. Place the portobello(s) in an oven dish. Put the feta* in the mushroom cap. Add the sauce, pine nuts and sprinkle on the oregano. Place in the oven for 40 minutes at 325 (I think... if the portabellos begin to shrink they are more than done.)

* Half goat cheese/half feta is best. It mixes two great flavors.

I use a ton more of tomato sauce. I basically cover it all so the mushroom is not visible.

There is no other recipe that is as easy as this and tastes this good.

******

One portobello is a meal. And it's vegetarian. Almost anytime I have a vegetarian meal I think, "This would taste better with ______." The blank is always beef, chicken or pork. The portobello mushroom recipe above is one vegetarian dish where I'm not craving some meat to be added.

Diet 1.1 Week 1

Last week I weighed in at 204 and it depressed the hell out of me. Tonight I weighed in at 200 so I lost the gravy weight.

28 days from this moment I will be sitting the Dubai airport (or more likely standing in a line) waiting to fly home. My goal is to be at 190 by that time. If my one week off the diet proved anything it is that I can gain a lot in a very short time. I know I'm screwed being home for 93 days. No low carb diet is possible when there's new potatoes to be eaten.

That's why it is important to take off every pound I can while I am still here. I want to be able to gain 10 back this summer and not feel bad. Oh, who am I kidding? If I return to the Emirates anywhere under 210 it will be a miracle.

Insomnia

It's a familiar theme. And since it's almost 5AM where I am let me talk about it.

Last week I used Ambien to get to sleep each night... never a full tablet, but a half to 3/4.

On Thursday night (the Friday equivalent here) I refused to take one. I was up until 2 and went to bed. I tried my IPhone "summer crickets" to help me sleep. I tried listening to a play. I tried listening to the BBC... they put anyone to sleep, don't they?

I heard the first call to prayer before 5. The roosters in my neighborhood were going non-stop. Even with tinfoil on the windows light began to shine in. The last time I saw was 6:30.

I awoke at 11 on Friday. Somewhere under 4.5 hours of sleep. OK. I decided, "Very little caffeine today." It was a wasted day. No energy to do anything. I wanted to go to bed at 5PM but held off until 9. When I finally did reach bed I found myself as awake as I had the previous night. I tossed and turned and played every story on NPR that I wanted to hear.

Nothing.

By 1AM I was exasperated. And for those who know insomnia, exasperation is a good place to be. Giving up trying to sleep is the key to sleeping. This isn't a new revelation. But true exasperation can't be faked. You can't say, "Oh, I give up, I will never get to sleep...." hoping that making that statement will set you off to slumber.

If you've ever been awake until 6:30 AM you'll understand when I say the feeling is "I don't give a shit if I ever sleep again."

In two nights I had spent an extraordinary amount of time staring at the ceiling:

Thursday: 2-6:30 - 4.5 hours.

Friday: 9PM until 1AM 8 4 hours.

I've come to hate my bed... the place where I can't sleep.

It's now 5AM (on the dot... wow, I timed this one right)... and I am absolutely not tired and I have no ambien in me.

I have to be up in 5 hours for a meeting in six hours.

And trying to get to sleep now will not be easy.

Welcome to my world.

Maternity wear

Finally! A maternity dress that looks fashionable... and you can wear even when you are not pregnant.

You have no idea how long I've been searching for this.

Walking zombie

I was awake past 6:30 this morning. I slept until 11. I've consumed only two cans of Coke Zero in the hopes that I'll get a good night's sleep tonight. I'm barely coherent at 8:30PM and headed to bed. The batch of weekend remainders will have to wait.

Choking the $&%* out of a shoplift

As a former retail worker I know I wanted to do this....

But, seriously, no charges for choking a shoplifter to death? Really?

I've been collecting news stories that have amazed me. More tomorrow.

Christine's response

After observing my class Chris wrote on my FaceBook wall:

"According to my calculations, 4 out of 30 students completed and corrected their worksheets. About 60% of the students brought writing utensils to class and an equal number talked through the entire lecture."

I agree with her assessment. The difference between teaching a class of all men is the equivalent of night & day to teaching a class of all women. I completely understand my colleagues who request only female sections. I am happy to teach both. The shabab are challenging, but as I explain in the next post I like a challenge.

I need a challenge

A little background: I worked in the field of weather for four years. I learned a lot in the first year, a little in the second year and pretty much nothing in the last two. I stuck around because I could create my own schedule, the work was ridiculously easy and the pay was good.

An easy job with good pay is great. The job was the intellectual equivalent of watching paint dry and it reached a point where it was not fulfilling.

Fast-forward to next semester where I'm scheduled to teach six sections of one class. It is a class I have taught 47 times before. I've known this for about a month and today I realized that that's the reason I've been in a bad mood for a month.

If I had a life... you know, married with kids, normal hobbies, or whatever... I would love my schedule for next fall. It really doesn't get much easier than this. I get paid well and I don't have to break a sweat, except when walking to my car.

Today a prospect to take on a new challenge was presented to me. I'd like to explain here but I'm way too superstitious and the odds of it working out in my favor are not great. But just the prospect of doing something challenging has made me excited.

Al Shabab

I like getting feedback on my teaching so I invited my friend Christine to observe. Chris has been in the UAE for six years but has only taught women. Observing a class of men was an eye-opening experience. Afterward some of the shabab (young men) posed for a picture.

Most guys wear white kanduras (robes) with a colorful guthra (head scarf). The guys on the right wearing the red & white checkered ones are the most common. In this picture three of the eleven Emiratis are wearing colorful kanduras. In most classes the ratio is much lower. It is common to look at a class of all white robes.

Most non-emiratis (like the guy in the t-shirt) wear western style clothes. Unlike the US, the t-shirts rarely advertise anything and often don't make any sense.

Dinner party

A colleague from my department invited a group over for dinner. Normally, I'd take a bottle of wine when invited but I knew there would be two Muslim couples attending so I chose flowers.

This picture doesn't do the flowers justice. They were really beautiful when the host put them in a vase.

My wine anxiety was for nothing. At the dinner several drank wine.

It occurred to me that this was the first invite from a colleague in my department. It's surprising how little I socialize with my co-workers. I guess part of it was getting to know Ann's friends when I arrived (who mostly teach English) and part of it is that most in my department are Muslim/Arab. Of the three parties I threw this year: Thanksgiving, Christmas and wine tasting, none would have much appeal for them!

Diet 1.1

Monday is the new weigh-in day because six weeks from today I leave for the US. (So Monday weigh-ins make more sense to me...)

Last week I weighed 200 and went off the diet. I jokingly called it my "week of gluttony." How bad of a week was it?

Well, today I weighed in at 204.

I gained four pounds!?!

If it had really been a week of gluttony I'd be OK with that, but it wasn't. I drank a few beers one night. I ate pork chops and gravy one night. I had two Reese's peanut butter cups.

That's it. AND I GAINED FOUR POUNDS?

Yeesh.

I know from experience that a one day measurement is meaningless; in this hot weather the difference between being hydrated and dehydrated is five pounds.

So it must be water retention and not gravy retention, right?

The last supper

My week of gluttony is over. For its bittersweet end I had to make pork chops, mashed potatoes, gravy and corn.

Notice that I didn't fill the entire plate? I could feel good about that if I hadn't gone back for seconds.

Tomorrow I return to the low carb diet. I needed to rid myself of all the carbs (and stuff that I eat with carbs) so I gave it all to Ann.

What you see above is cheese, maple-flavored bacon, grapes, cheddar cheese, a container of mashed potatoes with bacon on top, two rolls of Ritz crackers... in the second row: two little pizzas, sweet corn, milk, two tiny containers of gravy and more mashed potatoes behind it.

Ann snapped a picture as she asked, "But, Steven what will you be eating from now on?"

"Salad," I answered, "and lots and lots of sunflower seeds."

My new weigh-in day will be Monday. Unless I magically sever an arm overnight it is going to be ugly.

Pirates of Penzance

Tonight the Choral Society of Al Ain performed Pirates of Penzance. It was tremendously funny and well done.

The director was Ann's friend Kate. She also directed the Christmas concert. The actress who stole the show was a diminutive woman I know from our days at the Hilton. She played the role of the young starlet the male lead falls for. Afterwards she joked, "I had to wait until I was 62 to play the role of the fair maiden."

*****

I teach at the state university. I've heard that the local community college has perks we don't have: Yearly raises and better housing. Tonight's event was held at a villa rented to him by the community college. If I had to hazard a guess I'd say it was 4-5000 square feet. It came complete with a courtyard shared by another couple. Since I moved into my new place I have tried not to have housing envy... but seeing this villa... wow...

290,000 <-- a sweet number

I don't have much time but today's news from the labor department is nothing short of fantastic. Not only do they report 290,000 new jobs in April but they also revised up 121,000 jobs from previous months.

Yes, unemployment went UP to 9.9%, but that is also good news: More people are coming back into the labor force looking for work.

Also, the number of temporary jobs is up. Temporary jobs often turn into long term jobs.

Most positive economic news for the past four years has come with a downside. Not today. This is great news!

GWEEN

At the entrepreneurship fair I ordered personalized cupcakes for my friend Gwenn whose birthday is coming up next week.

I'm not sure if the women making the cupcakes knew GWEEN was not a name...

And I had my first beer in over 10 weeks. It was nice but I'm ready to dive back in to the diet.

Sweet lemon rationalizing

I really, really wanted to teach summer school. Work-wise I learned last summer that it's not a bad gig. Money-wise it would help a lot.

It's not going to happen.

And like a guy who bites into a lemon and says, "Wow, that's so sweet!" I am beginning to believe it is for the best. In my first year I spent most of January back home. It was definitely a re-charge of the batteries. This year I didn't do it because the weather is fantastic here and so horrible in Iowa that I couldn't justify making the trip.

Nine months of constantly having to dumb down your words, however, takes a toll. Add to that a, "I will be your friend as long as I feel I can get something from you" mentality.

If offered summer school I would still take it. I learned last year that summer here is a different world. The list of summer courses has been released and I'm not on it. I wasn't last year but was added at the last minute. The odds are lower this year.

So I'm not getting what I want but I'll happily bite into this lemon and say, "Wow, this tastes like sugar!"

*****

I wanted to upload pics from a night from the Rugby Club (one of the four bars in this city of 400,000). For reasons I don't know, blogger the upload feature in blogger is not working.

Terrorist attempt

The events of the past couple of days have depressed me. A westernized looking Muslim planted a (lame) bomb and two days later was able to board Emirates airlines.

Ugh. Not helpful in, oh, so many ways.

Here are some random thoughts:

1. Most of the press stories are not covering the fact that it was a Muslim immigrant who notified the police about the smoking SUV.

2. The "Muslim terrorist" angle does not seem not to fit. Why? There's no sign he was/is religious. As much as we like to have convenient stories that match our preconceived notions this guy's story is not a match: He was a mediocre business student who switched to computer science. After graduating he went on for his MBA, gained American citizenship, married a natural born American and had two kids. He had a decent job and lost it (no story yet on how that happened). His house went into foreclosure. He took his family to Pakistan before returning to the US.

At this point it is just as likely that the job loss and foreclosure had as much to do with the terrorist attack as his religion. Of course, it's too early to tell, but that hasn't stopped politicians from going off the deep end.

Quote of the day - the face of denial (and self-hatred)

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Entrepreneurship - day 2

I loved the local food yesterday and returned today to see what I could eat (and try to stay on my diet). The picture below is of poor quality but it's pretty accurate. This is what it looked like.

Tomatoes, peppers, zuchini, eggplant and cabbage in a tomatoey sauce. Not fantastic for a low carb diet but (other than the potato) not terrible. I'll take it.

I didn't know until I made it to my office that all of the vegetables had been hollowed and stuffed with rice. The taste was great but considering I ate about two cups of rice I knew I'd pay the price.

These tacos were interesting... mildly spiced chicken, but not like chicken taco's at Taco Bell. I said, "In the west we call these tacos. What are they called here?"

"Tacos" was the answer.

Gee, I feel like an idiot.

One of my former students was decorating cupcakes. Knowing I couldn't eat them I bought a batch and took them to the secretaries in my college.

Crashed the diet

I ate the load of rice at noon. By four I commented to a friend, "I don't have any cravings! Maybe the carbo-load won't affect me." By five I was famished. I ate a bowl of soup I made on Saturday. Twenty minutes later I made a batch of popcorn. At seven a friend called and invited me over for dinner. I went and ate a full meal.

Ten weeks of being good and one large helping of rice crashed the diet. I'm not canceling the diet but today's unexpected turn of events means I'm going to take a few days off. One food I rarely eat in this country is pizza. With no pork products pizza just isn't as good. While in Dubai a couple of weeks ago I bought a couple of frozen pizzas. Now that carbs are in my system I might as well enjoy the pizza... I might, just might, even have a beer with it!

I'll consider this a bye week before plunging back in on Sunday.

Entrepreneurship

Many female students produced a flea market of sorts this week: Selling everything from eye glitter, to manicures to full meals... like thareed pictured below.

Thareed is a traditional Arabian dish that I've never had before. It was good enough that I had to look up the recipe.

One of Ann's former students made a delicious custard(?). It was hard to just have a taste, but I'm not giving up the diet quite yet.

Why I read comments!

A congresswoman nobody has ever heard of announced her retirement. It's a safe Republican seat so the impact of her resignation will be zero.

Yawn.

But the first two comments below the story made it worth reading.

First comment:

Hmmm...spending "more time with the family" all of a sudden?

I have to wonder what the real story is.

Second comment:

Hmmm...someone must have caught on that she is really John Lithgow.

Maybe it takes a major fan of World According to Garp to find that funny.

The Rodney Dangerfield of teaching

I had classes today at 8, 12:30, 2, and 3:30. I also guest lectured an economics class at 11. The 11 o'clock class was my only good class.

In the 12:30 class I realized I was speaking in my loudest voice just to be heard. I'm not a shrinking violet in the classroom; I have no problem with projection. So 40 minutes into the 75 minute class I said, "That's it. I'm done." I packed up my stuff and walked out.

I am tired - very tired - of being treated like shit by students and colleagues.

A couple of months ago I said I would not "phone it in" this semester. I have been giving it my all. I knew all along there was a potential danger: What if I give it my all... go all out... and it makes zero difference?

Now I know the answer.

 

It sucks.

Pay it forward

Sandy inspired me. Last week at McDonald's she (voluntarily) paid for herself and the car behind her in the hope that the good deed would have a ripple effect.

For the past couple of weeks I have wanted to make soup. Few things are easier to scale up than soup. So a huge ginormous batch of soup.

Making soup here is easier than the US in that you can buy pre-chopped red onion and fresh, peeled garlic.

I even purchased a new 10 liter pot.

You are looking at 7-8 liters of soup. I boxed up meals for many of friends.

But this wouldn't be a "Steve" story without a minor disaster.

One of the containers slipped out of my hands.

I figured, "Oh well, what they don't know won't hurt them." I scooped it up and put it back in the tin.

10 weeks of dieting...

In telethon style I present the previous weeks:

Start: 225
Week 1: 221
Week 2: 218
Week 3: 215
Week 4: 213
Week 5: 211

Week 6: 209

Week 7: 209

Week 8: 206

Week 9: 203

Drum roll please....

Week 10: 200

This is a big week for several reasons. 1. I was under 200 most of the week but made soup last night and ate at least 8 bowls while it was cooking. I'm shocked my weight wasn't higher. 2. 25 pounds in 10 weeks is exciting. An average if 2.5 pounds per week? Yippee!

And finally, at Hamilton I organized weight loss contests every spring. I can't remember if I did better or worse in those 10 week contests. What was different back then was that I was dieting to win a contest, not feel better about my self. I spent hundreds of dollars over the years sabotaging the other contestants... taking in cakes, constantly refilling a large M&M dispenser, etc. While fun, that's not the way to diet.