Last week I used Ambien to get to sleep each night... never a full tablet, but a half to 3/4.
On Thursday night (the Friday equivalent here) I refused to take one. I was up until 2 and went to bed. I tried my IPhone "summer crickets" to help me sleep. I tried listening to a play. I tried listening to the BBC... they put anyone to sleep, don't they?
I heard the first call to prayer before 5. The roosters in my neighborhood were going non-stop. Even with tinfoil on the windows light began to shine in. The last time I saw was 6:30.
I awoke at 11 on Friday. Somewhere under 4.5 hours of sleep. OK. I decided, "Very little caffeine today." It was a wasted day. No energy to do anything. I wanted to go to bed at 5PM but held off until 9. When I finally did reach bed I found myself as awake as I had the previous night. I tossed and turned and played every story on NPR that I wanted to hear.
Nothing.
By 1AM I was exasperated. And for those who know insomnia, exasperation is a good place to be. Giving up trying to sleep is the key to sleeping. This isn't a new revelation. But true exasperation can't be faked. You can't say, "Oh, I give up, I will never get to sleep...." hoping that making that statement will set you off to slumber.
If you've ever been awake until 6:30 AM you'll understand when I say the feeling is "I don't give a shit if I ever sleep again."
In two nights I had spent an extraordinary amount of time staring at the ceiling:
Thursday: 2-6:30 - 4.5 hours.
Friday: 9PM until 1AM 8 4 hours.
I've come to hate my bed... the place where I can't sleep.
It's now 5AM (on the dot... wow, I timed this one right)... and I am absolutely not tired and I have no ambien in me.
I have to be up in 5 hours for a meeting in six hours.
And trying to get to sleep now will not be easy.
Welcome to my world.
I don't suppose they have sleep clinics over there? Or that you would consider seeing one when you're back in Iowa?
ReplyDeleteSteve,
ReplyDeleteLet me know if you want an evidence or a civil procedure text.
That shit puts me to sleep like it is my job.
~Matt
A couple years ago, I started sleeping with a humidifier running on high. For some reason, the constant hummm of white noise lulls me to sleep. Plus, those morning prayers and rooster will be drowned out.
ReplyDeleteTravis
While I like reading Charles Dickens, some of his lengthy descriptions can easily make me fall asleep. Although, I rarely have problems sleeping - so it may not help. I'm guessing though that you might try anything! I'd start with Hard Times - that one always put me to sleep in high school!
ReplyDeleteSandy