Just how screwed is my party?

My house may be in Cedar Rapids, but I am a Democrat from Benton county. Benton has Leonard Boswell as our congressman while Cedar Rapids has Dave Loebsack.

Boswell needs to go. He's a lame-ass congressman that I'm glad I didn't have to hold my nose and vote for in the past couple of elections. Yes, he is allegedly a Democrat. He votes with the party most of the time so I should be happy.

But he's also a tool. I served as a county chair for four years and have met the man many times. Trust me on this. There's a reason why 13 Republicans are vying for the seat: In two years Iowa will lose one congressional seat. Everyone on both sides of the aisle believe Boswell is the guy who will get cut out. Running against him now is a step up to challenge Braley or Loebsack when the new districts are drawn. It's no wonder the Republicans are salivating.

So as a loyal Democrat I would love to have a good, solid candidate running this year to take Boswell's seat. We don't have one. We have the guy above who makes me want to request a primary ballot just to make sure Boswell wins.

(In case you don't click on the link above...) What makes this guy a bigger tool than Boswell? He suggested we should insert microchips in illegal aliens to track them... and then said he was only giving examples of what radicals think.

Umm, yeah. Thanks for playing. Go back to Tama county. Nobody heard of you before and you made a nation-wide blog so you can be happy. The party you allegedly support doesn't need you.

Quote of the Day: Laura Bush

From Ladies Home Journal via Political Wire:

George loves to tell the story of how all his Midland friends would come to the Oval Office and say, 'I can't believe I'm here.' And then they looked at him. Couldn't believe he was there either."

So say we all.

Bacon popcorn

Even though I have booked my ticket home I sent a plaintive plea to my boss, "Are you sure you don't need anyone to teach this summer?" I'm 99% sure the answer will be "no."

Given my supply of popcorn I should be happy. There's no way I'll make it through the summer. As it is I'll have to ration for the next six weeks.

I confess that I'm curious about how this would taste. I've tried cooking popcorn in bacon fat and it was awful. I've even tried mostly corn oil with a little bacon fat. No matter how you pop it, the bacon develops a rancid taste when heated high enough to pop the kernels.

(My thanks to my closeted stoner friend for bringing this to my attention. I know loves popcorn when he gets the munchies.)

Coke factory

Sadly, the Coke facility did not allow pictures inside. I hope to go back someday with permission to take pictures... with my digital camera they can delete any that they feel compromise their bottling secrets.

While Coke is the name on the side this plant is not owned by Coke. Coke does not own any of its bottling plants (that I know of). Why? The profit margin in syrup is much, much higher than in bottling.

They had a cool carpet in the lobby. However much I wanted to rip it up and take it home with me I suspect they would have noticed.

Here's the class I accompanied to the factory.

I apologize because the pictures don't match the hype. Being inside the factory was beyond cool. It was surprisingly small. The actual area of filling the bottles and cans was no more than 3000 square feet. (They can only do one flavor for cans, glass bottles and plastic bottles at any time.)

The adjacent warehouse where the newly filled bottles go is much, much larger... bigger than a football field.

The quality control was interesting: While filling cans of Coke Zero the cans were quickly scanned. Any with imperfections were kicked out. It was shockingly common. 1 in 50 cans? A worker then physically inspected them. If deemed OK he would put it back in the que. If accidentally tipped over he would automatically throw it away. One of the students asked me, "Sir, why are they throwing that away? It looks fine."

I replied, "I don't know but it makes me sad. I wish they'd give them to me!"

Out in the packaging area we watched cases of plastic bottles of Sprite getting getting wrapped in plastic. Shockingly 1 in 10 cases had problems. Two workers were working furiously to remove the problem cases and put them back in the que.

For automated systems I was very surprised to see as many problems as I saw.

Maybe that's why they didn't want pictures.

Ann's 11th anniversary of 29 and counting

For Ann's monumental birthday she gathered with friends at the Stone Grill. (In the background is the city's only golf course.)

Ann collects Lady Bug stuff. She's slightly less obsessed with the stuff than I am Coke.
Ann has terrific friends and it was fun to spend the evening with them.

A wonderful (but long) day

I am exhausted after visiting the Coke factory and celebrating Ann's birthday. Pics will come up tomorrow.

Have I mentioned?

It's 2:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. That's normal for me. But tonight there's actually a reason: In ten hours I am going to the local Coke factory.

For thirty years I have wanted to go to a Coke factory. The nearest one to me in Iowa is Lenexa, Kansas.

I can't believe I had to move to the middle east to actually visit a Coke factory.

I am a moron

I was so excited that I am weighing in under 200 pounds that I thought I'd take a picture.

I didn't think about the fact that my camera and lens weigh four pounds. Taking a picture with ME holding the camera...

When I weigh in under 200 officially on a Sunday I will shave in the morning and have a beer at night. That's all the incentive I need right now for weight loss.

What a day!

Today the College of Business and Economics sponsored an "Abu Dhabi 2030 Vision" conference. It was fascinating on many levels.

First, male students were allowed to cross the impenetrable wall on to the female campus. They sat in one section while the women sat in other sections.

Second, they highlighted the fact that women are important to the long term growth of the Emirate. If you think, "Why is that noteworthy?" think US circa 1900.

Third, they highlighted the fact that they are bringing in huge companies to relocate here but do not have the locals to staff them. One speaker said, "If you are Emirati with skills, drive, and ambition we want to hire you."

Fourth, I love the expansion plan. The best speaker... the best speaker I've heard since I've arrived in this country... was a guy from Mubadala. It's an invest arm of the government where they try to attract business to this country.

In the US we try attract business by offering tax breaks. Here they attract business by buying them - or at least part of them. The Mubadala representative talked about AMD (the chip maker who runs a distant second to Intel), EADS (Airbus, the global competitor to Boeing), and GE (who makes airplane engines) all building factories in the UAE.

Was it because they thought the UAE was a fabulous place to build a factory? No. The Abu Dhabi government invested a lot of money in each of those companies so well, hey, there's a bit an of an obligation.

The speaker said repeatedly, "We used our leverage..." Which is polite business speak for, "We'll give you this money if you build a factory in our country."

I left the conference energized. There's pretty much zero chance I'll be in this country in 2030, but hearing and seeing the plans makes me know I'd want to come back to visit.

50 Days

Fifty days from now I will be home. 50 days!

I'm not homesick but I am looking forward to Iowa. By the time I land I will have been gone 293 days since I left last August.

In my remaining 50 days I will be teaching 13 days. Giving quizzes for 4 days, finals for 3 days and a couple more days for grading. That means I have about 20 days of work in the next 50.

After my 20 days of work in the next 50 I have 93 days straight of vacation.

Hmm. 20 days of work in the next 143 days.

Did I mention that my earliest class next semester is 12:30?

Life is good.

The sunflower seed diet

And the march goes on...

Here's the latest:

Start: 225
Week 1: 221
Week 2: 218
Week 3: 215
Week 4: 213
Week 5: 211

Week 6: 209

Week 7: 209

Week 8: 206

Week 9: 203

200 is so close I can taste it. More specifically, I dream of the taste of beer. I promised myself I could have some beer when I go under 200. Who knew beer could be used as an incentive for a diet?

This week I rediscovered the appetite suppressant known commonly as sunflower seeds. Most days this week I ate one decent meal (usually salad or meat) and spent the rest of the time cracking sunflower seeds. They are not popular here and it's easy to know why: Local brands lightly roast them and add very little salt. I buy from the one store sells seeds from the US: Planter's (twice the price, but still cheap).

Psst, dad! Check this out

There's a place in Vinton that sells morel mushroom seeds (spores?).

You've had a strawberry patch, peach trees, large asparagus patches, grape vines, 80 tomato plants decades ago, nearly an acre of sweetcorn, lots of rhubarb, green beens, peas, radishes, green onions, broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, kholarabis, and loads of fresh new potatoes. (Not to mention the largest non-commercial popcorn patch in Iowa.)

So wouldn't a nice morel mushroom patch be great?!

Shades of Hamilton/Kaplan

A colleague in a different college was called in last week and told, "We're giving you notice. You will not be teaching in the fall." He was assured it was an "operational decision" that had nothing to do with his teaching.

He will get paid for the next six months and then receive two months "gratuity." (Since us ex-patriots don't plan to retire here, they give a bonus one month salary for each year we work... payable when we leave or switch jobs.) So he's basically getting paid through the end of 2010. In academia it is hard to start looking in late April. Good jobs have already been taken. I wish him luck.

And, yes, this is scary.

Not helping the diet!

I went with a friend to a chinese restaurant. I asked for no rice with with broccoli beef.

They didn't give me any rice, but gave me twice the broccoli beef. How can I diet when they do this? (I tried not to eat it all...)

Woah, dude, that's harsh!

From John Deeth: 18 Iowa City police officers busted 21 students for pot on the eve of IV:XX (a.k.a. 4-20).

Eighteen cops arresting students who wanted to get stoned. I'm pretty sure most of those cops were once the kids in high school who couldn't get laid and were never invited to the cool parties. Busting those students probably gave them a chubby.

Music from around the world

Musician from Nambia, Iran and India performed at a large outdoor concert tonight. I took my good camera to get some pics...

...but forgot the memory card. The IPhone pic above doesn't do it justice.

A tower of Oreo cream

I have never liked Oreo's much but as a kid I fantasized about doing this...

For me the ratio of "cookie: good stuff" was too high. Also I think Oreo-eaters are milk drinkers. I'm not. By the time they came out with "Double stuff" Oreos I had moved on.

One of those classes...

In two years here I've had 24 classes and over 800 students. I was bound to have a class that I didn't like. The class meets at 3:30 - 4:45 on Mondays & Wednesdays. Wednesday is the last day for classes so it's like teaching from 3:30 - 4:45 on Friday. The students come in mentally checked out.

The class has 30 students. Twenty of them spend the class surfing the net. That will end next week as one forwarded a joke to others in the class and several burst out laughing.

This is the class where a student said, "We'd laugh at your jokes if you gave us points."

Today I gave worksheet that's a good review for a quiz next week. The ten good students went to work and completed the worksheet. Most did just about anything but the work in front of them. With about ten minutes to go a guy - who had not done anything - asked if I had planned anything else. I said, "No, once you get the right answers on the worksheet you can leave." He went over to a guy who had it done, copied down all the answers and brought it to me.

I said, "The point of this was to learn something, but obviously you don't care. Get out of here."

He looked at me.

"You heard me. Get out of here."

I beat him to the door as I packed up my stuff quickly and walked out.

It's baaack!

The Coke machine was trucked off last night. The leak was fixed and the fridge was returned tonight.

McGyvor at first said, "There is no charge because this is the third time we had to add coolant." (True, but the first time was when I got it. The second time was just before he left to get married and I knew it was only a temporary fix.)

I insisted on paying. He said, "Pay me after 10 days. Make sure you are happy."

"I am very happy!" I replied. "Let me pay you tonight."

The charge? Dh 250 ($68)

There's no company in the US that would pick it and return it for that price... let alone fix it.

I paid him Dh 350 ($95).

Happy 4-20!

...although I think I only have one regular blog reader who celebrates this holiday, but I guess some are probably in the closet.

*****

Today I discovered that I'm hyperthyroid. It explains the headaches and it's easy to fix (take less synthroid).

Bye... take care!

McGyvor's crew took away the fridge to get it fixed. He said he'll have it back in four days.

I am very proud of myself; I didn't cry.

McGyvor's back!

Adrienne's gift of the Coke fridge was amazing... unfortunately, it wasn't working. Salem, a.k.a. Bangladeshi McGyvor, recharged the fridge and it worked great until November. Leaking coolant, it just couldn't keep anything cold. Salem had time to recharge it but not enough time for a permanent fix. (He left the UAE for six months to get married and build his new bride a house.)

Knowing the coolant was leaking I did my best to keep it from working too hard. I got everything cold in the regular fridge before bringing it over to the Coke fridge. Every day I would freeze three large bottles of water in the regular fridge and transfer it to the Coke fridge. I knew my precious was on life support and I wanted to do whatever I could to extend its life. On Friday the machine gave out.

** sniffle **

Today I called Salem and he answered the phone! He came over, saw what I needed and said he'd come back tomorrow to take away the motor and fix it permanently.

I asked, "So when did you get back?" He said Thursday.

So the Coke fridge survived until Salem made it back here. Coincidence? I think not.

Rabbit food diet

I gave the diet a kick start by basically eating rabbit food for a week. Even though I ate two huge meals at the end of the week, the rabbit food diet worked.

Here's the latest:

Start: 225
Week 1: 221
Week 2: 218
Week 3: 215
Week 4: 213
Week 5: 211

Week 6: 209

Week 7: 209

Week 8: 206

I'm back on track. Yippee!

Big meals do matter; on Friday I weighed in at 204. After a big meal at a restaurant one night and at home the next I am glad I only gained two pounds.

A tale of two nights with curries

This is the remainder of the prawns with green curry and massaman curry with beef. I love cooking it at home...

On Friday I joined friends at a Japanese/Thai restaurant. The cost of my four course meal with two drinks and bottled water: Dh 290 ($78). It was a decent meal, but I'd have preferred spending $20 (including two drinks) at Thai Moon in Cedar Rapids. Others ordered a little cheaper than me but for all of us with drinks we got out for about Dh 1000 ($270)

Tonight I was with a different set of friends eating in my house where we made the curries. Total cost of the evening: Dh 150 ($40) fed five people.

Feeding five for $270 vs. feeding five for $40. And I'd say the food for the feeding five for $40 was better.

Money can't buy everything.

Ancient Chinese secret, huh?

Four month old Amy, in the picture below has more hair than I've ever had. I learned from my Chinese friends that there's a trick (old wive's tale?) to their super thick hair: At one month Chinese parents shave the child's head for the promise of a lifetime of a full head of hair.

So my lack of hair is all Mom & Dad's fault! If only they had shaved my head at one month I'd have as much hair as Amy.

Curry, second round

I'm feeling like a master chef after a second round of making curry. This time it was prawns in green curry and massaman curry beef.

Don't do this to me!

A couple of weeks a neighbor brought me a slice of cheesecake. I ate a bite a day until it tasted bad five days later and I threw the rest out. Today another neighbor brought half of a chocolate cake. I cut off the left corner and wrapped it up to give to a different neighbor. It tastes great. If I left in this apartment it would be gone by tomorrow.

Three days after booking my flight through London...

... an Icelandic volcano erupts shutting down all flights through London. It could be days or weekds before it reopens. I'm hoping for days.

Every flight to and from here have flown very near Iceland. I wonder how Delta is re-routing the Dubai-Atlanta trip.

Rubber room

A teacher gets in trouble in New York City. Whether its valid/fair or not, the teacher is told to go to a place and wait until their case is heard.

They can wait for months, even years before anyone will talk to them about their case. They get their salary so it would sound like a mini-vacation, right? People have gone nuts waiting and the place has called the rubber room.

Today Mayor Bloomberg announced he's closing the rubber room.

(Ironically, I first heard the rubber room story from This American Life the same weekend that I waited for Susan to fire me. I thought then, "A rubber room would be preferable to working for her.")

Headaches

Lately I've been headaches on a regular basis. I can't find any pattern... it's not connected to alcohol, lack of sleep, or caffeine.

When starting a low carb diet people often get headaches (the body loves carbs and doesn't appreciate it when it is deprived of them), but I've been on the diet long enough now that that can't explain it.

This morning it was bad enough I almost canceled classes. I'm sure - 100% sure - the students would have been OK with that. By the afternoon it had subsided a bit but it's still with me tonight.

Anyhow, that's why you are not getting a more interesting post today. I'm going to bed early with the hope of waking up tomorrow with it gone.

Supreme Court

Not that anyone cares... but I'm rooting for Kagan. She's a consensus builder who knows how to appease the right. In today's Supreme Court that has four certifiable right wingers with Kennedy as the right swing vote that's an important attribute.

Plus she's 49, younger than all the other candidates. I want someone who is going to be on the court long past the time I retire. George H.W. Bush was smart to put super conservative Clarence Thomas on the Supreme Court at the age of 43. The guy came to the Supreme Court in 1991. If he serves until 83 (not unrealistic) he'll resign in 2031.

I believe the court would be better if they had 15 year terms. "Lifetime" had a whole different meaning when they wrote the constitution 220 years ago.

Good reason to quit

I have a new respect for Sara Palin. Earning $12 million since quitting her job? Wow, you betcha, that's awesome.

Sadly, I think this is further proof that she won't run for president. A whole 4  2.5 years with a mere $400,000 salary… I don't think so.

*Geek* alert - take this quiz

I took a 12 question survey by the Pew Center (a well-respected polling organization). I scored 11 out of 12. You can take the survey here.

I think the question I missed was a trick question. It asked "approximately what percentage of oil does the US import"? Of the four options two were 50% and 67%. The last figure I saw a couple of years ago was 57%, trending upward. So I chose 67%. (Hint: It's not the right Pew answer.)

Trip home

I took the plunge and booked my ticket home. It's a good price, $1005, and has short layovers. I will arrive in CR at 1:10 in the afternoon on June 15.

I fly out of CR on Friday, September 17. Three solid months of vacation. I'm hating it already.

Quote of the day - Conan

Conan is going to TBS? Really? At least he's realistic about his career arc:

"In three months I've gone from network television to Twitter to performing live in theaters, and now I'm headed to basic cable. My plan is working perfectly."

Random (mostly diet) thoughts

In last night's euphoria over cheap tickets I couldn't get to sleep. I finally fell asleep at 5 and slept through my 6:30 alarm. Fortunately, I have a backup old school wind-up alarm with a wake-the-dead bell that woke me up with just enough to shower and make it to class.

• I did NOT book my flight. The $817 price was illusionary. When I went to book it taxes added $500. Most websites make it clear if it does/does not include tax. This one didn't. Fares are definitely down from last week: I found a $995 (and I double checked to make sure it included taxes).
• It's a good thing I didn't book in an extra day in Atlanta; my friends there are moving to Chicago.
• Depressing view of the diet: In the first three weeks I lost 10 pounds. In the next four weeks I only lost 6.
• This week I'm trying to kick start the diet by low carb and low cal. Don't worry about starvation; I have plenty of fat reserves.
• A friend e-mailed support for the diet and asked some questions. I'll answer them here: Yes -- sometimes - only on weekends - it tastes like chicken.

Bizarro world

One of the new geekdoms I've is regularly checking airfares using a half-dozen websites. As the price of oil has steadily risen in the past couple of months so have the airfare prices.

Until tonight.

A week ago the cheapest flight to CR round trip was $1200. Tonight it is under $900.

I'm also checking options for Ann & Mike and found that they could fly to NYC for $646... a very good deal. That itinerary is Delta from Dubai non-stop to Atlanta (my favorite flight) and then on to NYC. Well, hey, if the NYC trip on Delta is $646, the direct flight to Atlanta must be cheaper... I could spend a day or two with Matt & Jennifer and continue on to Cedar Rapids...

The price of the direct flight from Dubai to Atlanta? $824.

Huh?

Update: It's past 1AM and I can't sleep. I want to book my tickets but I don't know exactly when I'll be leaving here and I don't know if I can stay until my birthday in September. The fares are just too good and there's no way I'm going to be able to sleep.

Update 2: I'm getting more information and it looks like I could book my ticket and leave the day after my birthday. I found a flight for $817! $817! $817!

But it won't take my Emirati credit card...

Kushkari

An Egyptian friend brought two large servings of his homemade favorite. He called it kushkari. It has a very unique blend of flavors. I can't begin to speculate what spices are in it. I could only eat a small portion because it has virtually every carb under the sun: two types of pasta and rice. On top is chickpeas, sautéed onions, tomato sauce with plenty of herbs. Below that is the pasta. Unseen below that is a layer of lentils and below that rice.

Ann was able to divide her bowl into FIVE separate containers. She'll be eating happy for a week!

Unlucky week 7

Momma told me there'd be days weeks like this...

Start: 225
Week 1: 221
Week 2: 218
Week 3: 215
Week 4: 213
Week 5: 211

Week 6: 209

Week 7: 209

This was vacation week. If I had been in Nepal I planned to eat a lot and even drink beer. Since I didn't go I was good. Not perfect, but I didn't seriously break the diet. I know about the diet plateau blah, blah, blah... but it's never happened to me before.

Grrr.

My answer? Go insane this next week. Treat it like week one of the low carb induction. I have to try to kick start this again because I'm not stopping here.

E-mail of the day

(Flunk Day is the day the outgoing student body president gets to call off classes for the day. Trying to guess Flunk Day is a sport for students and faculty alike. The night before I called Flunk Day in 1991 Denny Frary gave me the thumbs up. I called Doc to let him know and I could hear Donna in the background saying, "Mistake... big mistake." And, of course she was right. The next day Spellman saw and said, "Kranz, mixing Flunk Day with Winter Carnival... great idea.")

Last night I tried to call Donna but missed her. She sent me this e-mail.

I am sorry I missed your call. I wanted to talk to you so badly after flunk day. I wondered if they were taking suggestions from you on how to pick a day. The week before flunk day there were 3 beautiful days -- 70's and 80's, but windy. They chose was lower 60's, but by the afternoon it started to rain and get colder and more win. The reason they are giving for calling it the week before was that they had not sold enough t-shirts before flunk day. They only started selling then on Tuesday before. I think they just moved to the top of the list and now you have lost your top billing.

I would argue that their have been two others worse since me and a half dozen as equally bad... but hey, I'm not really counting.

A new cologne?

I have no problem with bathroom deodorizers. They are a good idea as long as they are not sickeningly sweet.

Posting one right next to the urinal, however, is not nice. I got sprayed and for the rest of the day I smelled like a urinal freshener.

A mushroom pizza by any other name...

... may not taste as good.

Tie cost of college to grades?

Right now every public university (like the one I teach at) is free. There's a serious proposal to make school free only for those who get good grades. As grades go down the fees goes up.

I like the idea but it would make teaching unpleasant. I can't imagine how dramatic the pleas will become, "But, sir, you must give me an A. My family is poor..."

"Dick from Alabama" would be much better

I'm embarrassed this guy shares my name and my state.

Faces of prostitution

Thanks to my friend Sam for bringing this to my attention...

As a liberal-libertarian (yes, there is such a category of people) I am not opposed to prostitution. Having said that, I am shocked, SHOCKED! that the Cedar Rapids police found that the Happy Hour Health Spa was actually a house of ill repute.

Anyone living in the Cedar Rapids area knows the Happy Hour Massage and knows what it is. A year ago I blogged about a friend visiting the place. Seeing the faces of the two arrested may explain why he couldn't complete the transaction.

Dubai

While nothing about this vacation has gone according to plan, it's been pretty good. My car was in bad shape: A broken wheel ball bearing, cracked axel, bad brakes. Charge for the repair? $200. In many ways this has been a successful week of getting things done.

Today I'm driving up to Dubai and spending all day there. I'm picking up a friend from the airport at 11PM.

It's low carb!

Two fried chicken breasts with cheese bacon and special sauce. It reminds me of chicken cordon bleu sandwich I used to be able to get in Nebraska. With no exaggeration that sandwich is the only positive thing I can remember from living in the state for two years!

Spooky clouds return

I'm not sure which day this was taken but the clouds that made Cedar Rapids famous came back.

It's a beautiful day!

The suspension system on my car is seriously screwed but I'm still singing...

Why? My follow up Dr. appointment was in-and-out. I had a book and fully charged IPhone because I was expecting hours to wait. And the news from the doc was fantastic: My cholesterol was only 230. That number is not good by normal standards and, yes, I need to take Lipitor... but considering that I am normally pushing butter through my veins the number is unbelievably good. (I have had multiple readings in the past over 400.)

Later I found a place that made copies of my apartment key. (I’ve locked myself out several times.) Before you yawn, you have to understand: It is really hard to get this done. I’ve tried for a year to find some place to do it. I even brought the key home last summer and tried to find a place in Cedar Rapids. Nobody could do it because the key was an odd Italian type not available in the US. Getting keys copied made me really, really happy.

OK, yawn. I guess I can’t quite explain why it’s such a big deal.

I also saw Pixar's "How to train Dragons." Pixar simply doesn't make a bad movie, but this is one of the best.

After dropping my hobbled car off to get fixed I walked home. It took me three hours. My feet are sore but I feel great.

It's a beautiful day!

Flunk Day!

Today is Flunk Day at Coe. I'm willing to bet this is the earliest Flunk Day in the 100 year tradition.

Wow. Good for him/her that called it, but s/he missed out a month's worth of fake-out opportunities. All his/her successors will be happy because now the entire month of April has been set as a possible Flunk Day.

In 2013 Seniors will be telling gullible freshman, "It's OK to drink. It really is Flunk Day tomorrow. It was on April 5 my freshman year so of course it could be tomorrow."

The Freshman wakes with a hangover and no bell. His test is still on.

Oh, the joys of Flunk Day.

Delayed Easter present

On a day when luck has not seemed to be on my side it was dangerous to open an e-mail with the schedule for next semester. The bad news of the e-mail was something I've known for weeks: I'll be teaching six sections of the exact same course. Have you ever tried to say something six times and make it interesting every time? It's not easy.

The good news? I teach 12:30 - 4:45 on the men's campus on Sundays/Tuesdays. And 12:30 - 4:45 on the women's campus on Mondays/Wednesdays.

No 8AM classes. No 9:30 AM classes. No 11 AM classes.

Yes, trying to make something interesting six times in a row is not fun, but I'll take this schedule any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

In my head I'm hearing the Easter sunrise service from years gone by from the Lutheran Church in Newhall. With trumpets blaring (an Easter only special) Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

But if the past semesters are any guide, the odds of this schedule holding are slim... but it's clear that my boss (who knows me) gave me the schedule he knew I'd want the most.

Vacation? I do not need no stickin' vacation!

We first planned to be in Nepal this week. It fell through due to some work-related issues. Plan B was to do a few days in Fujairah - a resort town on the Indian Ocean. Last night I had Easter dinner with friends. One said, "Do you know about the jelly fish?"

Me: "Umm, no..."

Before leaving for Fujairah we find out that the jelly fish have taken over and there's no chance to to go snorkeling to see the beautiful corral.

I'm doing my best to make this a productive week so that I feel good when it's over. The only other option is to feel like a complete failure: "You can't even plan fun right?"

Tales from the Dr.'s office - Part I

I have been bad. Very bad. I ran out of medicine for high cholesterol and high blood pressure a year ago and I haven't gone to the doctor. With every fun plan for this vacation going down the tubes I thought I could at least make a productive day of it.

There's a reason why I've gone a year without seeing a doctor in this country: The experience is oh, so unpleasant.

I take a number. I fill out forms. I'm told to got to window B. Stand in line, window B says, "Oh no, you need to go down the hall and to the right." I go down the hall and to the right. "No sir, you need to go to the desk over on the men's side." (The last person sent me to the women's side? Hello?) When I get to the desk on the men's side I'm told I need to go back to the first window. I stand and stare. She repeats. I recount the places I've been and I'm told that none of that should happen and window B will help me.

Window B gives me a number and tells me to wait. I wait. I wait. An hour passes. I have seen patients come in, get a number, see a nurse, see a doctor and go while I'm waiting.

I've now been in the hospital for 90 minutes and I go back to the desk and stand there. She looks up my record and says, "Sir, we don't have you in the system. You have to go back to window B." I go to window B. He assures it's all been cleared up now. I go back to the desk. "Sir, you can have a seat."

"No," I reply. "I am going to stand here until I know I am in the que to be seen." She then takes out a folder, writes my name on it puts it behind three other folders. "Thank you," I said.

A half hour later I finally see a doctor. I explain my need for Lipitor (cholesterol) and more blood pressure medicine. When I tell him I've been off it for a year my doctor begins to scold me. I stopped him. "This place gives me so much stress I completely understand why I took a year to come here. My experience in the last three hours tells me I was right."

*****

On the medical front the news was good. They did an ECG and my heart is OK. I also had blood taken for a cholesterol test (so I can find out just how bad it's been since I haven't been taking medicine).

At the end I tried to make an appointment for tomorrow to get the results. I went to the desk where I've stood for at least 30 minutes throughout the day.

Clerk: No sir, you cannot make an appointment. Your doctor has no appointments tomorrow.

Steve: I am NOT sitting here for three hours tomorrow.

Clerk: I can make an appointment with a different doctor. I will schedule you for 8AM.

Steve: No way. It's after 5PM now. I'm not going to come in at 8 only to find out the lab results are not back.

Clerk: OK, here is a 12PM appointment. You need to be here at 11:30.

I take the card and mumble, "Yeah, whatever, you passive-aggressive bitch."

Tales from the Dr.'s office - Part II

As my chain was being yanked from one part of the hospital to the other I kept seeing one other western guy. After 5PM, as I was waiting to have blood taken, he came in. Although we hadn't spoken I said, "Hello, again!"

I found out he arrived at the hospital at 11AM and told them, "Here's my phone number. Call me when you can see me and I'll be here in ten minutes."

I was in awe. "You're my hero!" Ann & Mike live less than ten minutes from this hospital... something I'll remember in the future.

It turns out my new friend is a doctor who used to serve as the doctor for a local semi-pro sports team. His story: He had 8 assistants working for him but none had proper credentials. As the doctor he was responsible for any mistakes they made. Five years ago he went to one guy and said, "You graduated from a university that does not exist." A month later the guy showed up with a (forged) certificate from a real university. After two years of this the guy told his bosses, "Either make sure everyone is properly certified or I quit." He sat in a conference room for two hours as the situation was discussed in Arabic. After two hours he was told they could find another doctor.

*****

He also mentioned a friend whose daughter had been hurt. He met them at the hospital and the doctor checking her out was putting the stethoscope on top of the abaya and checking her in places that are meaningless. He told his friend, "Your daughter's doctor is no doctor."

Tales from the Dr.'s office - Part III

This may be the most bizarre story. Ann was with me for the first hospital I tried. We went in the main entrance and explained my need to see a doctor. I'm referred to the emergency room. Ann nicely explains that it's not an emergency. We are then directed to a set of offices. Where? Human Resources.

We explain at human resources that we would like to see a doctor. The befuddled woman suggests the lobby we had just left and the emergency room. Ann explains, "No, this is not an emergency. He just want to see a general practitioner." She motions to a large conference room and suggests we wait there because doctors use that room for lunch.

We left.

So, yes, it's horrible that I spent a year without seeing a doctor. But today all of my fears of trying to see a doctor came true. It is a nightmare experience in this country.

Who's angry now?

From the Daily What? One face looks angry and only looks pleasant, right?

Now look at the pic while squinting. Who's angry now?

Upbeat Music series

My love enjoyment of music videos died in the era of Friday Night Videos.  <—A comment only my generation will remember.

This one, however, is worth watching.

Here's the latest:

Start: 225
Week 1: 221
Week 2: 218
Week 3: 215
Week 4: 213
Week 5: 211

Week 6: 209

Since I'm not working this week I had put on my work clothes to weigh in. I guess I have to come to grips that 2 pounds/week is now the norm. My dilemma is whether to cheat this week: Have a Reeses, maybe some McDonalds and beer. Hopefully, not all at the same time. Had I been in Nepal I know I would be cheating. The Coke there tastes different enough that I'm sure I'd have blown the low carb thing by now.

Sadistic back wax

While nobody would call a back wax fun it is not incredibly painful, either. They heat up the wax and spread it on your back and rip it off. Pretty simple, huh?

Here they don't heat on the wax. As they try to spread it out it is excruciatingly painful... like someone is trying to rip your skin off. It was barbaric.

Unemployment: Finally, some good news

The economy added 162,000 jobs. The first up tick in well over a year. A third of it came from the government hiring census workers, but still, a gain is a gain. Paul Krugman says, "the patient is in stable condition."

The road to recovery is going to be long and job growth will be slow. Why? Because companies have become slave masters in getting more out of their current employees. This increase in productivity is great for the long term health of our country. In the short term, however, most companies see no need to hire additional workers.

Update: Reading around the blogosphere I see that liberal economist Brad DeLong is very excited about today's numbers while conservative economist Greg Mankiw hasn't commented.

Thai cooking

Ann & Mike brought me a bunch of Thai curries when they were there in November. Tonight I had two friends (who I knew were good cooks) over and we experimented.

Our first entree was yellow curry chicken. It had a great taste but it had quite a kick. I'm used to yellow curry being mild. (Note how little rice is on my plate. I'm sticking with the low carb diet.)

Here's the red curry beef cooking up. Oddly, this was not as spicy.

For a first attempt at cooking Thai it was a huge success! And easy, too! Both dishes had fantastic flavor. I feel like my cooking reportiore grew tremendously tonight.

Teabonics

Earlier this week the New York Times ran a story about people in the Tea Party movement.

The article highlights many people who are collecting unemployment, disability, or social security making up the Tea Party movement. The government spending for them is OK, because they deserve it. Spending for others is wrong.

I confess that I view Tea Partiers (and it's so hard for me to not refer to them as Tea Baggers) as illiterate hillbillies with a few missing teeth.

But, of course, they are not this stereotype at all. If anything they are proof that our socialized K-12 education system failed them.

Click here to see more Teabonics.

Resumes out

I have been sending resumes out in hopes of getting some work this summer. Extra money would be nice. As I've written before I will have enough to live fine ($300/week).* The advantage of working part of the summer is that, yes, there's more income but I'm also inclined to spend less. Three months of idle to travel and shop? Scary, scary. Even $300/week would go fast.

I have two interesting prospects: One would be teaching a summer course at Kirkwood. I hope this comes through because I would very much like to get my foot in the door.

The other possibility is the American University of Iraq. Don't panic! It's safe! A colleague says the pay is about what you get elsewhere and, therefore, they are unable to get people. (If you could work anywhere for the same salary, would you choose Iraq? In this case - for me - the answer is yes. How cool would it be to say, "I spent my summer teaching in Iraq"?)

* When I had my first hyperventilation on the scary idea of 3 months at home I said I'd $400/week. Then I remember that I have to buy the plane ticket. Taking that money out I'll $300/week.

Drill, baby, Drill!

When you read these random thoughts you'll understand why I couldn't write a coherent post:

• I have been to the beach at Corpus Christi several times. It's nice, but often you leave with oil/tar all over yourself and your swimsuit. Drilling offshore there hasn't been particularly kind to the environment.
• A good chunk of the land opened up probably doesn't have any oil, anyway so it's probably not as big of a deal. If some oil/natural gas can be harvested that's great! It will mean more jobs and less money going to the middle east so I have less of a chance of a pay raise, err, wait a minute...
• Had Obama done this after a failure in health care reform my side would have gone absolutely insane. "Does this guy have any backbone? He cares more about appeasing Republicans than he does the people who got him elected!" Since it happened over healthcare reformed passed it is politically genius. Why? However upset someone on my side gets all Obama has to do is say, "Health care." Yes, yes, Obi-wan, you did what nobody before you was able to do. It also takes an issue away from Republicans. "We wouldn't be dependent on foreign oil if we had more drilling here" has been a popular attack by Republicans. At best this will not do much to chip away at the 12 million barrels we import every day, but hey, it's an effective issue and the president has neutralized it.
• I wonder if the "drill, baby drill" crowd of Republicans from Georgia and South Carolina will be as excited for it once the drilling is right off their shores.

Namaste!

That's "Hello!" in Nepalese.

But we're not in Nepal. Long story short, it was better for us to cancel our tickets. I would have liked to go but I'm completely satisfied with going snorkeling in Fujairah and seeing Winton Marcellus next week.

For weeks I vowed to be under 210 by the time of the trip. I made it: 209. Not much room to spare there.