Tales from the Dr.'s office - Part I

I have been bad. Very bad. I ran out of medicine for high cholesterol and high blood pressure a year ago and I haven't gone to the doctor. With every fun plan for this vacation going down the tubes I thought I could at least make a productive day of it.

There's a reason why I've gone a year without seeing a doctor in this country: The experience is oh, so unpleasant.

I take a number. I fill out forms. I'm told to got to window B. Stand in line, window B says, "Oh no, you need to go down the hall and to the right." I go down the hall and to the right. "No sir, you need to go to the desk over on the men's side." (The last person sent me to the women's side? Hello?) When I get to the desk on the men's side I'm told I need to go back to the first window. I stand and stare. She repeats. I recount the places I've been and I'm told that none of that should happen and window B will help me.

Window B gives me a number and tells me to wait. I wait. I wait. An hour passes. I have seen patients come in, get a number, see a nurse, see a doctor and go while I'm waiting.

I've now been in the hospital for 90 minutes and I go back to the desk and stand there. She looks up my record and says, "Sir, we don't have you in the system. You have to go back to window B." I go to window B. He assures it's all been cleared up now. I go back to the desk. "Sir, you can have a seat."

"No," I reply. "I am going to stand here until I know I am in the que to be seen." She then takes out a folder, writes my name on it puts it behind three other folders. "Thank you," I said.

A half hour later I finally see a doctor. I explain my need for Lipitor (cholesterol) and more blood pressure medicine. When I tell him I've been off it for a year my doctor begins to scold me. I stopped him. "This place gives me so much stress I completely understand why I took a year to come here. My experience in the last three hours tells me I was right."

*****

On the medical front the news was good. They did an ECG and my heart is OK. I also had blood taken for a cholesterol test (so I can find out just how bad it's been since I haven't been taking medicine).

At the end I tried to make an appointment for tomorrow to get the results. I went to the desk where I've stood for at least 30 minutes throughout the day.

Clerk: No sir, you cannot make an appointment. Your doctor has no appointments tomorrow.

Steve: I am NOT sitting here for three hours tomorrow.

Clerk: I can make an appointment with a different doctor. I will schedule you for 8AM.

Steve: No way. It's after 5PM now. I'm not going to come in at 8 only to find out the lab results are not back.

Clerk: OK, here is a 12PM appointment. You need to be here at 11:30.

I take the card and mumble, "Yeah, whatever, you passive-aggressive bitch."