Quick: Name the fastest growing show on cable television?

His name is Glenn Beck and his ratings are shooting up on his new Fox show.

As the clip shows, that doesn’t keep fellow Republican Joe Scarborough from laughing at him.

Having sex with a student

I've always been in the camp that no person in authority should have sex with a person in his/her charge... including, of course, a President and his intern.

A male teacher having sex with a student should be sent to prison. The power differential is too great and his ability to pressure a student too high.

But I confess I've not been terribly worked up about the stories of super hot female teachers hooking up with male students. At worse, I figured, the story would get out. At best, the kid would become a legend and high-fived in every locker room for the next ten years.

On the trip back to the US in January I bought RollingStone and found this article fascinating. Even the good looking jock can be crushed his cougar teacher.

Question of the day

Is the new Cedar Rapids police chief a former Marion cop?

This Gazette story is very disturbing.

The on again, off again move...

... is off again.  I sent the following to all of my fellow inmates in the place we currently live:

Hello all -
Etisilat informed me today that it will be "weeks" before our compounds are connected to the internet.  After they are connected there will be another delay before technicians hook us up. 
When I asked if it could take as a long as a month he shook his head yes.
I also suggest everyone test every outlet, light fixture and all sinks/toilets.  Two of my air conditioners don't work, virtually every room has the lights wired wrong and in my front room I have a light that will not switch off! 
Steve

The Cannabis Closet

I believe blacks are helped by whites calling out racism, gays by straights opposing homophobia and non-pot users supporting decriminalizing the drug.

I am lucky. My drugs of choice - caffeine and alcohol - are legal.  But if we started from scratch and looked at all of the drugs of the world and had to decide which ones should and should not be legal... well, even I'd have to admit there's a better case for making pot legal than alcohol. 

Andrew Sullivan has published some views from his readers' cannabis closet.

Those gays think they can do anything now

I first saw this quite a while back and it always makes me laugh. 

You can see other bloopers here.

Courtesy:  Andrew Sullivan

Lightning hits the Burj Dubai

It turns out the worlds tallest structure is a giant lightning rod.

And I'll leave the light on for 'ya...

... because I have no choice.

As I am writing this there is a light on in my new place. It was on all day yesterday. It will be on all day tomorrow.

Why? They didn't install a switch to shut it off.

Seriously.

Narrow parking

I have no skill at parallel parking. Zero. I can see two car lengths open and I'll still end up with my back end three feet from the curb. Unfortunately, our new place has very narrow (the picture doesn't do it justice) parallel parking. I have a lead on a different, much smaller car. The Sunny (Nissan Sentra in the US)is not large but Its too big for me to navigate the tiny spot we have here.

Dirty rain

Rain here doesn't clean your car. It makes it dirtier. As I've commented before as much I like walking in the rain when you do it here you have to take a shower afterwards.

Very steep learning curve

Sometimes I wonder how stupid I can be. After everything that happened last semester I am as mad at myself as I am the students. (Refresher, both my male and female sections are basically playing a game of "I will take my midterm whenever I want to.")

Allowing them a little flexibility was a colossal disaster. And I should have seen it coming. I explained my situation to two colleagues today and they all but laughed at me: Never, never allow exceptions. Once you do they will drive a truck through it.

I did NOT allow my two principles of management classes any alternatives. Guess what? Every one of them in both sections showed for the midterm.

Quote of the day: Travis

Travis nailed it in the comment section to yesterday's post. I said that when you give these students an inch, they'll take a mile. Travis adroitly responded:

Stop giving inches...

Talking with Spellman

Today's disrespect from my students is irritating. That fact that some of them are among my best students makes it a "Woah, how did I misjudge these guys?"

I remember a time when Doc saw me particularly down. He said if I had time I should could come to his office. I did. I spilled out my heart. I loved my college friends but some were not quite the friend to me that I was to them. (Keeping this purely platonic as the discussion was about male and female friends.) In a series of days close male and female friends had ditched me in one way or another.

Doc said: You hold your friends to a higher account. They are not bad people and you know that. You simply want more from them than they are willing to give.

A year or two later he proceed: "I've watched you for the past two years. Your friends now are much better than the friends of your freshman year. You are cultivating real friends and that's good."

**************
I cannot change the culture of this nation. I cannot change the culture of this university. I can impact the culture of the Management major. If I'm allowed to teach the gatekeeper course I can set standards for acceptable behavior within the major.

I may subscribe to Ms. Manners. If I'm gonna do this I want to do it right.

Reconnecting

As I have slowly emerged from the fog known as Hamilton, I have been reconnecting with friends that I lost long ago. I take the full blame for the lost contact. Depression has an ability to envelope you. For the last three years at Hamilton it took every fiber of my being to simply be "up" for the classroom. Flowers to Susan cannot express how my life has changed since getting away from the entity that sucks away all life.

Recently I reconnected with Rahul. Rahul is a friend from college who... well, from one who is self-esteemed challenged... I never understood why he was friends with me. Rahul's brilliant, good looking and charismatic. I remember I scored higher than him on a test in International Econ. I was practically doing cartwheels. He was like "Dude, get a life." I responded, "You don't understand. In one hundred tests you will likely beat me 100 times. This is like the kid on the short bus winning a spelling bee!" (Yeah, I used the "short bus" references back then.)

Anyhow, it has been great to reconnect with Rahul. If I'm lucky I will be able to visit him in Singapore soon. Singapore is Ann's favorite city. Given that she's the world traveler that's quite a compliment.

And I guess I'll be moving on Friday

I have spent the past two days trying to contact the guys who moved my stuff in October. Back then they charged me $80 and I paid $160. (That was early in my bargaining days. If they charge me $80 this time I'm sure I won't pay a dime over $150.) They not only moved me but assembled my beds and Ikea furniture... a steal for $160.

As he answered the phone tonight he remembered me - probably the only person to give him a 100% tip - and before I could even explain what I wanted he said, "No problem, boss, we will move you on Friday."

Alrighty, then.

Joys of blogging

The post below is *supposed* to have two pictures pictures of hail. One is hail scattered around the ground. The other (quite sadly)is hail made into something that is trying to resemble a snowman, but doesn't.

The "hail snowman" had an effect on me. It's been many years since I've built a snowman. While the weather absolutely sucks in Iowa for most of December, January and February, we've never been reduced to making snowmen out of hail.

This weather will make a weather geek out of ’ya

I have been a life long weather geek.  As a child teen adult I loved standing on the well platform at Mom & Dad’s and watch the storms roll in from the west.  Dad has the similar weather bug and we'd often go in search of exciting weather.

Weathermania has spread across the Emirates.  In a nation that so rarely gets weather they are positively giddy exchanging pictures of hail and storm damage.  Given that most of my students have never seen hail or snow it is not surprising that some thought the hail was snow. 

It’s raining again tonight.  I’m not looking for locusts or other signs of the apocalypse but this is very, very rare to have a week of freaky weather. 

And after a bad day at work the rain is making me smile.

As with any job...

Some days are better than others. Today was one of those not so good days. It started by "reviewing" for a midterm and having half of my morning classes looking at me like they had never seen any of this before. "It's review people. Nothing here is new!"

Last week many complained that they had too many midterms on Tuesday and Wednesday. "OK, I replied, "You may take it on Monday if you e-mail me by Sunday night. If you do not e-mail by Sunday at midnight you may not take the exam early. If you do e-mail me you MUST take the exam on Monday. I will print exactly enough copies of the exam... Last term I had over 50 students decide at the last minute to change exam dates and I WILL NOT let that happen again."

"OK, sir, no problem," was the refrain from around the room..

Half of those who were supposed to take the exam today showed up. Tonight I e-mailed the no-shows:

Students who failed to attend Monday mid-term:

You e-mailed me to request to take the mid-term exam on Monday. You chose not to show up and did not even bother to contact me.

In the coming days I will decide on an appropriate response. I will discuss this situation with colleagues and will notify you if you will be eligible to sit for the mid-term on Wednesday.

I understand why many of colleagues give no ground on anything. This is a group of people that give new meaning to "give you an inch and you will take a mile."

Ease down, Ripley, ease down!

I was the first to pick up the keys and the first to visit the local cable/internet company. (Can you tell I'm motivated to move?) They have not connected the wiring from our complex to the system... meaning that it may take some time for the internet to be up and running at the new place.

That's probably good. I've been blogging like a crazy guy lately. I need to scale it back a bit.

I now need to finish writing a midterm. I've been in work avoidance mode all night.

I think the movie quote above is probably easy... but bonus points if you can remember who said it.

A beautiful picture

And for once, I'm not talking about Coke. Those are the keys to my new apartment. Allow me to bitch a little: Everything was ready for us to move in last Tuesday. I asked for the keys and was told no. This past weekend all of us had plenty of time on our hands. This week we are all giving midterms. I have to give 190 midterms in the next four days and grade them this weekend... you know, the weekend I have to move.

OK, I'll stop complaining. I never expected we'd be out of this dump before the end of the year. I thought we'd end the year, put our stuff in storage and have to move when we return in August. This is so much better I should erase the paragraph above.

Fascinating look at unemployment

Here is a website that shows unemployment state-by-state for the past 4 years. Click on "play the time line" and watch the unemployment rate balloon in the past six months.

Comparatively, Iowa doesn't look too bad.

Seattle meets Al Ain

It's not raining quite as much as the Northwest but it's enough that it's hard to remember I'm living in a desert. Tonight's storm - like all but the one I mentioned a few nights ago - is a nice, gentle rain. I have a compulsion to walk in the rain. Always had it, but it's stronger in a place like this where rain is rare.

As I noted from my first rain way back in August the difference here is that you have to take a shower after walking in the sand filled rain.

Calling out your opponent face-to-face

Right wingers in the US have been talking about this for a week. British Conservative MP Daniel Hannan attacks Prime Minister Gordon Brown in the European Union parliament. The attack is unfair, unjustified, yet beautiful to watch:

At one time in my life I could have done this. In college I rather enjoyed reducing an opponent to tears. Perhaps it was compensating for being a walking doormat in high school.

Now I think, “What’s the point?” I still have the ability to defend myself but the “I’ll rip off your head and shit down your throat” attitude from A Few Good Men left me long ago.
*****
Back to the original point: Right wingers in the US have been talking about this for a week and lamenting that they have no leader like this guy.

Umm, yeah. You’re beholden to the batshit crazies of your party. Until you set them free like my side did Jessie Jackson and Dennis Kucinich you have no prayer of coming back to power.

Does having children make a person happy?

It's a common belief that having children makes a person happy. I've never bought into it. I have always believed that doing what is best for you is a good idea. I have never wanted children and I'm pretty happy about that. Most of my friends have/had a high paternal/maternal need and have children. Good for them. The notion that having children automatically makes one happier has always seemed ridiculous. Now there is this:

We tend to believe that the rare but meaningful experiences – such as seeing our children smile for the first time or graduating from university or getting married – would give us massive increases in our happiness. And indeed they do, but these boosts in well-being, often to our surprise, tend not to last for very long.

As I've told my classes for years, those who win the lottery are no happier five years after winning it than they were before winning the lottery.

Unlike having kids, that's a proposition I'd like to test.

Hat tip: Andrew Sullivan

Quote of the day - Grassley

A day after I complimented him for his humorous exchange with Kent Conrad comes this from Andrew Sullivan:

Listning Prez on FOX anounce his Afhgan stategy Now it bcomes Obama War Not Bush war any longer

- Chuck Grassley, Iowa's senior US Senator on his twitter

Please don't let people know you received your education in Iowa, Chuck. It will set us back decades.

Filipino restaurant

Ann and I returned to Emirati based Filipino restaurant chain. (OK, that didn't seem odd until I had to write it.) She got the spicy chicken in nut gravy above and I got the beef with veggies and beef sar-sar (or something close to that). The appetizer in the center was supposed to come before the meal. Basically cook some pasta with hamburger in the center and you'd have that dish.
We also ordered chicken spring rolls as an appetizer. It was pure chicken. Not bad, but not what I'd call a spring roll.

Then again, I've been spoiled on Wu's spring rolls.

Coke Zero

Coke Zero is absolutely indistinguishable from Coke Zero in the US. I have learned that with just a little lemon it tastes quite good. (Without the lemon it is drinkable, but you know you are drinking diet pop.)

Making that switch saves me 4200 calories per week (150 * 4 per day * 7 days). That's more than a pound per week! No more scraping speedbumps for me.

I have never priced lemons in the US. I can buy three lemons here for about $.30. That lasts two weeks in my Coke Zero. Are they that cheap back home?

Coke trivia of the day: Coke did not spend much to market Coke Zero when they launched it. They got burned badly by the failure of C2. Don't remember C2? It was Coke's "half the calories of regular Coke with all the taste!" It failed for two reasons: They tried to charge more assuming mature Coke lovers (like me) would be willing to pay more. It was packaged in 8 packs that charged the same price as 12 packs. Second, the product didn't live up to the hype. It was NOT all the taste of Coke. As I drank one I thought, "If I'm going to be getting the calories I might as well drink regular Coke."

Coke Zero received little marketing attention at first and, surprise, it was an instant hit. Mostly it is cannibalizing sales of Diet Coke but it's also developed a market of it's own.

This guy is no Tucker Max

Looking for advice on how to get laid?  ListenActAttract on youtube might be right for you.

Andrew Sullivan noted how funny this one is…  Watch it to see what “incredible” foods can improve your sex life:

Grassley showing sense of humor

Iowa's Senator Grassley is on the budget committee where Kent Conrad, Democrat of North Dakota, chairs. Grassley wanted Conrad to include an amendment to a bill.

Grassley: I'd like to suggest to the chairman that he might want to support this because, you remember, you asked me two years ago not to take a vote on it and you said if we did take a vote on it you might not get your budget resolution adopted. So I did not ask for a vote on it and you said it was a very statesmanlike thing for me to at that particular time and so I would hope that you would return the the favor.

Conrad: You know, I used to like you. Let me just say: Oh, you are good.

Grassley: Well, your wife said the same thing.

The article I read this in comes with the title, "Senators get nasty: "You're Good"... "Your Wife Said The Same Thing"

Pretty misleading. These two guys like each other.

Housing

You may have heard statements like "home sales have not dropped as much as expected. The reason? Foreclosure sales.

The real number to watch is the new home sales. The red line above shows a decline from 1.4 million at its peak to under 400,000 in January. Housing is key to economic recovery. Until it starts to recover, the economy will continue to slide... regardless of the Dow's recent two good weeks.

New question (it's easy)

If workers are more productive but their pay is not going up, where is the extra money going?

Productivity/Pay gap

I appreciate the responses on the blog and via e-mail. Sandy had some interesting thoughts. I'll start with them:
1. Corporate Greed - May have a part. I consider greed to be a relative constant. In other words, 1960's companies sought ways to make their workers get more done AND pay them only a little more. The companies in the last 20 years were simply more successful in doing it.

2. Increase in technology: Without a doubt corporations have been flattened with middle layers of management being cut out. Managers today have a much wider span of control, meaning many workers report to the average manager than did in 1960's. Perhaps these changes have allowed companies to keep the masses down.

3. Increased health care costs: That's an interesting possibility. "We'd like to pay you more but can't because we're paying so much for health care." It can't explain the entire dip, but it certainly accounts for some.

My take is quite simple: Shortly after taking office President Reagan fired the PATCO air traffic controllers. It sent a signal to the business world, "Opposing unions is the way to go." Every measure of union activity plummeted in the 1980's. Union membership dropped and has never recovered in the private sector.

I know unions are not popular, but they serve a purpose. The decline in real wages directly correlates to the decline in unions.

I'll provide an argument against my theory: "Unions were never over 50% of the private workforce. So what if they are less than 10% now?" The answer is what's called the spillover effect. Even if your company was not unionized, the company would pay you near union wages and treat their workers right in hopes of keeping out a union. As union power declined, so did the incentive to pay workers what they are worth.

Now there is no stigma to taking a striking worker's job. Unions' only weapon has been made impotent. I don't see a rise in unions anytime soon.

Sugar porn comes to Al Ain

Krispy Kreme opened a near where I currently live. Unfortunately for them, they chose a location far off the traffic path. To get to their store customers have to park the car and walk almost 2 blocks. I think that's a bad location for a donut shop.

This is a beautiful picture. It had been over a year since I last had a Krispy Kreme. Like Pavlov's dog, I was salivating before inhaling the first donut. By the fourth donut - with sugar flying everywhere - I stopped to exhale.

On Thursday mornings my colleagues gather for a coffee break. The department purchases the drinks and food. I added the Krispy Kreme's. The point of this picture: America's businesses have permeated cultures across the world. Besides Dunkin' Donuts there's Florida Orange Juice, Pepsi products and Seven Up. Only the foods wrapped in plastic on the left are local.

Ann and I have discussed what it must be like for someone living here from Europe. Are their favorite foods here? Nooo. Is their equivelant of Coke here? Nooo. We Americans feel right at home. Too bad for them.

Question of the day

What is the name for this decade?

It's 2009 and we still haven't named our decade. Will we have to wait for an oldies station to say, "Playing the greatest hits from the 80's, 90's and ________"?

Technically, I think, it the "oughts" but I haven't heard anyone refer to it that way.

An expensive lesson

I tend to misplace things. I don't consider them "lost" until the item is missing for a month. Often things show up in odd places (even more so if I had taken ambien when I last had it... like a cell phone placed in a sack of ties I didn't like in a corner of a closet. I'm sure in ambien state that made sense.)

There is nothing I lose more than my driver's license. I go through 2-3 per year. Once a DOT worker said, "They will investigate you to find out why you keep getting replacements!"

I laughed, "Let them investigate. I lose things. Ask anyone who knows me."

At the beginning of the semester I was told I had to get a University parking permit. (When I got my car I was told that since I had tinted windows and couldn't park on the women's campus I didn't need one.) The process of getting a parking permit required a lot of documentation including photocopies of my driver's license. I did what was asked but was then told I had to photocopy the front AND back... Somewhere in the process I "misplaced" the license.

Six weeks have passed and I still haven't found it. By my normal rules I'll consider it lost and get it replaced. In Iowa replacements are $2. The only real pain is having to sit at the DOT office.

Here the pain is paying nearly $80.

Ouch. As I paid the money the women asked, "Would you like us to use the photo we have on file?" "NO! It's a horrible picture." She pulled it up and laughed. Given how bad the picture is I was happy she didn't call a security guard to stand by her side.

She sent me to the guy taking pictures. I waited. I waited. I waited some more as many people all around me were processed. Finally, he calls my name and hands me a completed duplicate license with my old picture.

D'oh.

Road to Dubai

Water was still standing on many roads today. There is not a great sewer system here because there is so rarely a need for one.

In a search for storm damage I took the road to Dubai and drove through water for over a mile. Given that the curbs are about 6 inches high, there is no place where the water goes higher. It was quite funny to watch those who are not used to driving in water. Cars and even LandCruisers stopped and turned around rather than drive through 3-4 inches of water.

Storm damage - part I

Although it only sprinkled where I live, the eastern part of town was hit by heavy rain and wind. Many trees were damaged. I'd compare it to an ice storm in Iowa... except, of course, these trees are green.

Numerous light poles and signs were blown over. Ann said she's never experienced a storm like this in her 8 years in the country.


Several trees were ripped up by their roots.

Storm damage - part II

This was a facility for weddings.

Storm damage - part III

It's not every day you follow a palm tree on the road. Sadly this is one of the palm trees that had been destroyed in the storm.

I was surprised at how clean the roads were. The reason: Hundreds of workers apparently got up very, very early and started cleaning. The three above are tending to a palm tree that lost its top.

I drove farther out of town and found roads that had not been cleaned.

The next day

After it rains the desert takes on more of an orange color.

The various hues are quite pretty.

It is NOT normal to have sand blowing around obscuring the road.

Where the Wild Things Are

I can think of few books that shouldn’t be made into a movie more than this childhood classic… but, hey, the trailer is not bad.

Most encouraging is that it is being directed by Spike Jonze (Being John Malkovich)…  As an actor he played the naive nice guy who bit the dust in George Clooney’s Three Kings.

Hog effluent

Iowa's Senator Harkin defends federal research for hog smells. Harkin reasons: One hog produces as much odor as 8 humans. With 20 million hogs in Iowa that is the equivalent of 160 million humans in a state with 3 million "real" humans.

I agree with the research, but for a different reason: Americans love cheap, high quality meat. In the old days farmers - like my family - used to raise a couple hundred of hogs at any time. The smell was the smell. But rank air and water pollution were not a problem. As a kid I'd hear, "That's the smell of money." I never understood the phrase. Mom worked in a bank. It smelled much nicer.

Now hogs are raised in confinement in batches of thousands. Not a good thing, but it's reality. The resulting waste is choking our streams and creating an incredible stench across Iowa.

It is appropriate for the government to research hog manure. I'd prefer the research be funded more directly with a tiny tax on all pork. That way the pork spending wouldn't look so much like pork spending.

How the lightning storm made me feel

Well, not quite. This wasn’t Sam’s entry into the uplifting music series but he says gets a smile (that’s all, so he claims) every time he plays this.

I’m glad to see Saturday Night Live can still do great work.

Lightning!

We get so little weather here that a lightning storm is downright exciting.

As the rainless storm passed through it kicked up a lot of sand. Visibility dropped to less than a block and it felt I was being pelted with tiny razors. Needless to say, the contacts I put in yesterday are toast.

Time for a shower. The sand is embedded in my skin.

Update: The storm was rainless where I was, but it flooded the eastern part of the city. Mike was returning from Dubai and had to be diverted because the road was flooded.

Scraping the bottom of the car

I know discussion of weight gain is boring. Today, however, I may have hit a new low. In the span of two hours the button on my khakis broke from the strain. Then Ann picked me up for dinner. As we drove over the speed bumps they scraped the bottom of the car.

Here's a new tip if I'm a passenger in your car and you encounter speed bumps: Go at them at a 45 degree angle. Somehow that distributes the weight better and you may save the bottom of your car.

Quote of the day – Newt Gingrich

Twice divorced Newt says,

It is sad to see notre dame invite president obama to give the commencement address Since his policies are so anti catholic values

I’m sure thrice divorced Rush would agree.

(Capitalization and punctuation perfectly match Newt’s twitter message. )

In Heaven there is no beer

This entry for uplifting music was surprising.  After Iowa victories the band plays this song and Iowans love to sing even when (like the guy in this video) they have no voice.

What’s surprising is that this entry came from a transplanted Hoosier.  She hasn’t switched sides;  she’s still a die hard Indiana fan.  I hope she gets to hear this song the next time she watches Iowa play Indiana. 

Productivity/Pay gap

Productivity per hour simply measures how much workers are able to get done. Thanks to better training, better management, better IT, better equipment, etc., output per hour has steadily increased since World War II. All good. In the long run productivity increases are the key to economic growth.

Until 1980 as workers became more productive they got paid more... hence median income rose in a parallel fashion. Starting in the early 1980's productivity increased but median income did not rise as fast. Since 2000, the median income has been absolutely flat even as productivity has increased.

Summary: Every year our workers get more done than the year before. Workers used to see their wages go up by an equal amount. For the past 25 years workers haven't been getting those raises. Why?

The is no silver bullet answer but I have my guesses. I'd like to hear yours before I discuss my ideas.

Government goes too far...

...when it tries to outlaw Brazillians.

Palin in '12!

Apparently Miss Sarah is polling in Iowa.

Go Sarah Go!

Meanwhile, Democrats are considering changing their rules of how a person get nominated.

As an active Iowa political geek, I hope we preserve our "First in the nation" status. I believe the most recent election is proof of our value. In a regional primary system (or if a big state got to go first) the candidate with the most money and name recognition would have won.

And while I would have had no problem with Hillary as president, I'm glad Iowa got to go first and put Obama on the path to the presidency.

Happy to be my age

I am glad that my high school speech performances have not been immortalized on youtube.  (This is from my alma mater Benton Community High School.) 

Thought for the day

The only reason for me to wear a belt is aesthetics. It is certainly not to hold up the pants I can barely fit in.

Enfranchisement

A bill is going through the Iowa legislature that would allow any Iowan to attend the Iowa caucuses. An employee would have to give his/her employer at least two weeks notice and the time off would be unpaid.

This is a good bill. After Hillary lost Iowa, and almost every caucus (save Nevada) she complained that the caucus system was unfair. I think caucuses are the ultimate statement in democracy. Those who have been to one would probably agree.

Take that primary state New Hampshire. Who did you vote for in 2000? McCain? How far did he go? And in 2008? Hillary? Oh, good call there.

Iowa picked Bush in 2000 (God help us) and Obama in 2008. We pick presidents. You used to.

Taunting the other first-in-the-nation state is something every Iowan should do.

Dancing Queen

I missed Tiff’s birthday party in Cedar Rapids on Saturday, but here’s her entry in the inspirational music contest.  She’s engaged to a good friend and all I can say is, “Travis, your relationship is safe.  Your fiancé's male friends are all gay.”  (Given that Travis enjoys hunting more than any other person I know, I think he’d appreciate that.)

Examine this, comment, and I'll respond soon

I suggest clicking on it to get a better view.
No, actually, I mean the top graph. I just found the second one funny.

Mental health parity

There are some issues where I shake my head and think “how can anyone be against that?” Issues that come quickly to mind: Saving seals from clubbing, children's healthcare, and mental health parity. The notion of mental health parity is that a person deserves to have insurance pay for treatment of mental illness.

Wow. What a concept: Treat the mentally ill.

Next we will have dogs sleeping with cats.
D'oh!

I think you get the point.

Anyhow, I'm glad to see dickwad upstanding journalist David Yepsen realize his mistake as he is now leaving the Des Moines Register.

Gobbledigook

The latest entry in the inspirational music series.

Don’t ask me to explain; I’ve never heard it before tonight. It’s from a former student who reminds me why I love teaching. Jeremiah is an interesting guy. You know those people who try to be edgy and random but in all their earnestness to be edgy and random they are actually tools? I’ve never met anyone better at seeing that than Jeremiah. Rather than say, “You’re a tool” Jeremiah will make subtle comments. More than once I have laughed to the point of tears.

That’s what I love about teaching: I get to meet people way cooler than me. (I know, I know, not a tall order.)

Beware of friends bearing gifts

The moment I clicked "publish" for the post below about weight gain Ann and Mike stopped by to give me a cinnamon roll. We talked for a while and they left. Accidentally, they left the other roll that Mike planned to eat tomorrow. I sent them a text of their mistake: "Guess what you left behind. Thank you very little."

I hear lyposuction is relatively cheap in India...

Going the wrong way

I am sooo close to breaking the dreaded 100 mark. I've been researching local foods to see how I can do something like the South Beach diet here. It will be tough.

The sticker on my left foot is a room label left over from the Hilton doing our laundry. I can't pull the tags off. They remind me of happier times (when I had a maid every day and someone to wash, dry and fold my laundry).

Quote of the day - Bill Maher

From Friday night's Realtime:

I think this is a sign of the times: OPEC met this week and announced that they will not be raising oil prices because our economy is too fragile. That's right, Saudi Arabia and Iran give more of a shit about you than AIG.

Iran said, "We're just fanatics, we're not bankers!"

Tucker Max, Part I

I had no idea of the Tucker Max phenomena a mere four days ago. Oh, what I've been missing. His note at the beginning of the book is proper foreshadowing:

My real name is Tucker Max. Unless a full name is used, all other names are pseudonyms.

All the events depicted in the stories are completely true. Only certain dates, characteristics, and places are changed to protect me from criminal prosecu tion or civil liability.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed living it.

The story is one he wrote on his blog over a couple of years that was compiled into a book. The story is of a good looking intelligent guy who doesn't give a damn about any woman and very few men besides close friends. To use Freudian language, it's a man purely living up his id. No conscious thought of the consequences of his actions, only thought to where the alcohol and his dick will take him on any given night.

And it's a fascinating story.

If there is an "anti-Tucker Max" in the world I'd have to be in the running (although I know my friend Robby would win). It would be easy to dismiss him as vile. I think it's more important to understand what he has to say: Guys at their basic nature want to get drunk and get laid, preferably in that order. I won't strongly disagree with that. He also views most women as needy and insecure and secretly willing to do incredibly kinky things. On that one I simply have no idea. I do not find most women as needy and insecure and if they want to do kinky things they simply don't tell me about it.

Tucker Max, Part II

Roger Ebert once commented that he hated people who said, "I don't like Westerns" or "I don't like science fiction." To dismiss an entire genre is ridiculous. There are good and bad movies in every genre. I agree.

It would be easy to dismiss Tucker Max. A guy who would have sex with a fat woman and throw her clothes out the window so she wouldn't try meet his roommates is worthy of contempt, ridicule and scorn. So why did I keep reading? He's a fascinating writer. Even he seems to know that only good writing will make anyone interested in his story. He writes:

The problem with oral sex is that it's like writing. When done right, it's amazing, but there are just so many ways it can go wrong, and when it goes wrong, it's just not worth it.

Tucker Max, Part III

As I was reading his book (a series of blog entries) I thought, "How can I go back to writing my blog? There's not a single story I have that can compete with this." I have led a very boring life. My assumption is that readers of this blog know that and are still willing to read it. God bless you.

I have known a Tucker Max wannabe. In fact, he lived with me for about six weeks. His name is Colby. Colby operates under the assumption that every woman wants to have sex with him. Some may not know it right away but once exposed to the Colby charm they will melt. Colby is tall, good looking, gregarious and has slept with enough women that his dick should fall off.

In late 2007 I learned that Colby had become homeless. Being the sucker I am I told him he could stay at my place until he found a new home. Oh, what fun. In the time he lived with me he took the virginity of a 23 year old Christian fundamentalist who was saving it for marriage while also having sex with others behind her back. He invited his brother to stay and proceeded to wake me up to having sex with the scariest woman I have ever seen (imagine narrow pointed chin and eyes a full inch back in her cranium. I wanted to order them out of my house but I was fearful of the hex she could put on me).

And Colby likes to drink. I, of course, like to drink as well, but Colby took it to new levels. A keg in my kegerator would last a month with me drinking from it. If I invited friends over it would last 3 weeks. During the time Colby lived me with the average keg lasted 8 days. A keg is 16 gallons. That's 2 gallons per day. A keg is 169 bottles of beer. That's an average of over 20 bottles per day.

One Saturday I returned home around 10 having had nothing to drink. I went to the kegerator. Empty. I checked the fridge where I knew 8-10 cans were there the d ay before. All gone. I sent Colby a text message: I cannot afford you as a roommate. Like Tucker Max, these players are notoriously cheap. Why pay for something when you can convince someone else to buy it?

My text to him was simple, to the point. Colby didn't come home that night or the next day. Monday night I came back from work and found that Colby had moved out while he knew I'd be at class.

Tucker Max, Part IV

I read this book upon recommendation from a good friend. He's a law student who, well, let's just say that he likes to get laid. He was telling me about the book and said he was into a girl who said she had read it. Matt told me, "I knew then I had to end it with her."

Me, not having read the book, asked, "Why?"

Matt replied, "Any woman who has read this book knows too much about how men really think, even if they don't act on it. I just couldn't deal with that."

Tucker Max, Part V

So I'm not Tucker Max. He would say I'm a tool for saying this but I don't want to be Tucker Max. I loved the Sopranos but have no desire to be in the mob. I think Six Feet Under was a great show but I have no desire to run a funeral parlor. I think Tucker would reply that I secretly do.

I think we all enjoy a good story. Tucker Max has provided many good stories on his blog, and ultimately, in his book. I'll go back to Roger Ebert: It's not the type of story being told, it is about HOW it is being told. This guy tells a revolting compelling story

.

M*A*S*H

Nobody got the reference to "get me the hell out of here." I'm disappointed only because that's a classic M*A*S*H quote.

I could do an entire week where every post somehow connected to a M*A*S*H episode.

Why should I worry?

It’s appropriate that the first response to my uplifting music request on FB is the same guy who recommended Tucker Max “I hope they serve beer in hell.”

My response: It is easier not to worry when your parents are prominent officials in government. I say that with no disdain. My friend has never tried to play off his parents’ credentials. It’s a simple fact that more doors will be opened for you if you have the right name. It’s also easier to take risks if you know that you will never, never be homeless. Now having said all that, the guy did work doing outbound sales while living with me... and followed the next summer as a college graduate working at Adventureland... That takes a level of guts that I don’t have.

Why do I keep watching this network?

I was watching this when it happened.  I nearly fell over. 

Mark Haines says that nobody earning less than $250,000 is capable of running a bank.  So all of us who make less than $250k are simply not bright enough or capable enough.

Let me tell you something about Mark Haines:  He is an incompetent hack.  I’m a long time viewer.  This guy has less insight than virtually anyone else on the network.  He has a co-anchor who is brilliant and she has the unfortunate duty of carrying the luddite sitting next to her.

Facebook

You don’t have to use FaceBook to find this funny.
******
On Thursday I posted this on my page:  “I want to know:  What is the song that puts you in a good mood?”  In less than 24 hours I had 18 responses.  I’ll be posting the suggestions in the week to come.
*****
And finally, FaceBook is an amazing phenomena.  The company, created just a few years ago, has become THE connection place… somehow eclipsing myspace.

This week they introduced a new format that, well, sucks.  Everyone who uses FaceBook knows it.  And according to this article, even the workers for FaceBook know it.  Why did they go forward?  The founder’s ego says he knows better than his customers.

I can’t help but remember Henry Ford’s quote that a customer can buy a car of “any color – so long as it’s black.”

Start pissing off your customers, FB, and a new startup will replace you quickly.  It won’t be hard.  Unlike Ford you won’t have a decade to realize your mistake.

Flowers

Karey was right that many of the flowers here are the same as ones you can find in Iowa. There are two, however, I've never seen before. The one above intrigues me. It's slowing losing it's color but at its peak the full flower was red. I can only describe it as a flower with a cardboard backing.
Here's another I've not seen in Iowa. It's also quite pretty, but no idea if we could grow it in the cold climate of Iowa even if we wanted to.