Hamilton effect

It's 3AM. In less than 4 hours I'm getting up to go on vacation. I've done no packing. Earlier I watched a movie where many, many people lost their jobs. I came back to the apartment for a brief Skype with a friend still teaching at Kaplan. The call lasted two hours. Listening to her depressing story caused a rock to grow in my stomach.

Two thoughts: 1. The little prayer I say every day that I am happy to be here needs to be doubled. 2. It all makes sense. Most people think that suicides reach a peak in December when depressed people choose to kill themselves rather than live through a period when everyone ELSE seems happy. Not true. The real high in suicides is the spring months of March, April, and May. Why? When the sky is dark and gloomy you don't realize how sad you are. It's only after the clouds have lifted and "spring is in the air" that people truly realize how much their life has turned to shit. Given the horribly abusive treatment at Kaplan they have no choice but to stick it out in today's job market. It takes an enormous toll on the body: Weight gain, anger, moodiness, depression... even irritable bowel syndrome.

I feel so much for my former colleagues. I've been through it. I lived it. My 2-3 year depression of 2006-08 cost me many friends. I had no idea how much I was affected until I was out. Seeing friends I care about going through the same thing is tough.