E-mail of the day

A friend writes:

now that your back we don’t talk.

Yep. So true. I didn't mean that to be true so hey, give me a call, 319-573-9990. Or send me a text message berating me for not calling you.

Late afternoon farm pics

These pictures are taken from the same spot looking in three different directions.

One month in and I'm still loving the green. The humidity? Not so much.

A bachelor party with one really expensive drink

The guy on the left - Travis - is getting married next month. After officiating at one wedding I joined them for the early part of the bachelor party. I saw the sign I'm holding for the "Pineapple infused vodka" and thought I had to try it. The sign left off the price and the picture was deceptive. I was served a small drink and the price was $8. That's outrageous for this part of the country.

As I started writing this post I made the translation to dirhams for my non-US dollar readers. While I was shocked, shocked! to pay $8 for the drink I would not have been surprised to be charged the equivalent - 29 dirhams - in the UAE. I guess living in a country where a case of old beer goes for 125 Dh ($34) should have made me comfortable paying outrageous prices back here.

Reverend Kranz

My online ministerial certification came in handy on Saturday: I played the officiant at their wedding.

Personality disorders as explained by Pooh

A hair cut and back wax...

... and I'm a new man!

In the device above the wax is heated up. Hot wax spreads easily and tearing it off isn't that bad. I took the picture of this device to show the spa back in Al Ain. They really don't need to torture their customers anymore.

Three paragraphs worth reading

A group of economists (liberal and conservative) have signed on to this manifesto:

Fourteen million unemployed represents a gigantic waste of human capital, an irrecoverable loss of wealth and spending power, and an affront to the ideals of America. Some 6.8 million have been out of work for 27 weeks or more. Members of Congress went home to celebrate July 4 having failed to extend unemployment benefits.

We recognize the necessity of a program to cut the mid- and long-term federal deficit but the imperative requirement now, and the surest course to balance the budget over time, is to restore a full measure of economic activity. As in the 1930s, the economy is suffering a sharp decline in aggregate demand and loss of business confidence. Long experience shows that monetary policy may not be enough, particularly in deep slumps, as Keynes noted.

The urgent need is for government to replace the lost purchasing power of the unemployed and their families and to employ other tax-cut and spending programs to boost demand. Making deficit reduction the first target, without addressing the chronic underlying deficiency of demand, is exactly the error of the 1930s. It will prolong the great recession, harm the social cohesion of the country, and continue inflicting unnecessary hardship on millions of Americans.

In English they are saying, "We either need tax cuts that spur employment or a real government jobs program like the New Deal." In the bizarro world of deficit fear-mongering we'll likely get neither.

Granite City

Granite City is a chain with fantastic brewed beers and good food. I'm happy I made it there on this trip back home. I was surprised, however, to see this:

There was food on the ground. It was clearly multiple spills and no serious attempt to clean it up. My love for the place went down a few notches.

Landscaping: It's all fun and games...

... until your sister almost cuts her finger off.

My sister is great at landscaping. I'm not. She generously agreed to help. I bought her lunch at Thai Moon and afterward we went to work. She showed me how to dig up and break up my hostas for replanting. She then went to work pruning my Russian Sage. Twenty minutes later I heard her shriek. I rounded the corner of the house just in time to see blood spraying like a garden hose. (Miriam wanted me to add, "We had to look for the tip of her finger before rushing to the hospital." While that's a bit of an exaggeration it is safe to say she was pumping out blood.)

Fortunately, I live one block from an urgent care center where she was treated right away. I thought the device they use to bandage the finger was pretty cool:

Fortunately, she should have a full recovery.

In my ever-typical gallant manner I paid her $20 co-pay and didn't even ask for a refund on the lunch I bought her.

'Cause I'm just that kind of guy.

Storm front

This is a picture from June 18. (I thought I had put it up before.)

Two down, one to go

I'm back in the US for 3 months and 1 has passed. At one month I'm back longer than I have for any trip since I left 2 years ago, yet it doesn't really feel like that. I've been busy; only one day - last Tuesday - did I do literally nothing.

I guess I have enough unfinished projects here that I want done and people I want to see that I am glad I have two more months here. All-in-all, month one has been pretty good. Do I wish I had accomplished more in the first month? Of course, but I always feel that way.

I was with a friend on Saturday (the one-third point) and I commented that having margaritas while I was back was on my list of things to do. So I ordered one at Texas Roadhouse. Yeah, not so good. Better than what I can get in the Emirates but nothing to write home about.

Why I have never tried cocaine

I know I have an addictive personality. I'll eat watermelon to the point of getting sick... and then still eat some more. I simply can't stop myself. I'm pretty sure if I tried coke I'd be 100% addicted and spend all my money on it and the paraphernalia.

Umm, wait a minute...

Anyhow polar bears like watermelons as much as I do.

More great pictures here.

Asparagus

From Gary Larson's The Far Side comes what he labeled a marketing mistake:

"I cuss, you cuss, we all cuss for asparagus!"

Today's lesson boys and girls is about asparagus. You know, the oddly phallic vegetable that makes your pee smell funny.

While growing up there was a wild patch of the stuff growing along the road next to our field. Dad has since added some fertilizer and the patch has taken off.

Asparagus grows in the early spring. The early cutting taste great but later cuttings become more woody and tasteless. Eventually Dad will stop cutting off the asparagus and let it go to seed. When he does that it grows more than a meter high and becomes very dense. (Pug added to give some sense of height.)
Here's another wild patch along our fence.

Dad also planted a large patch. In the growing season asparagus is amazingly fast growing. Dad can cut off 5-6 pounds worth every day for a month before it starts to taste not-so-good. What is not-so-good asparagus? That's the stuff you get in the grocery store. I have no idea how they get the asparagus to grow year round but whatever it is is unnatural and it saps out the flavor.

Good fatwa, bad fatwa

In the UAE a cleric has issued a fatwa - a religious ruling - against loud vuvuzelas. Good call.

And now the bad call:

An Iranian cleric has issued a fatwa against dogs. Why? The compelling argument I've heard is that only rich Iranians in a small section of Tehran are rich and westernized enough to have dogs. Putting a fatwa against dogs is a popular appeal to Iranians who don't care much for dogs. If this is what the religiously-backed-unpopular-government has to resort to dog fatwas their days are (hopefully) numbered.

Really, Iowa?

Seeing this in Alabama would not be surprising.

But in Mason City, Iowa?

Is it aging or living in the middle east?

Since moving to the UAE my near vision has gone pathetically downhill. I could blame the middle east or accept the reality I turned 40 and it's the first sign of aging that really sucks.

Tonight I found myself wondering if it is aging or culture that has turned me into a prude. What I do know is that what happened tonight wouldn't have bothered me a few years ago.

Picture this: An early 30's recent divorcée grinding on two of my friends and me. To preemptively defend my married friends they were polite but didn't lead her on. And to her credit she wasn't really making any play for me but did feel the need to wrap her legs around one of mine and hump me while I was trying to make an easy shot on the 8 ball to win a game. Fortunately, this gave me an excuse to miss the shot I probably would have missed anyway.

Countless times in my life have I been with friends where such an opportunity arose and they'd duck off for a quicky in the bathroom, car, spare bedroom or even the roof of my apartment. I've never given it much thought. Tonight - even though nothing happened - seeing her throw herself at these guys bothered me and I'm not sure why.

How did the baby Jesus and a suicidal shepherd end up in my garage?

One of my summer goals is get my garage cleared out. As you can see this will be a major project.

Someone left a nativity display in the garage. Nobody knows whose it is. Seriously. Whoever it belongs to has a pretty sick sense of humor: Check out the shepherd committing hari kari in the center of the picture.

(More) Mississippi River

The boating community is very friendly. The pics above and below are of two different beaches where boats pull up next to each other for a social call.

This beach even had a volleyball match going on later in the day.
On the right is a marina/restaurant. I wonder how seasonal places like this make it when they are really only busy a few months out of the year.
These boys dug seats for themselves out of the sand.

Some turtles were sunning themselves.
All the life surrounding the river is pretty cool to see.

Mississippi River

I have lived in Iowa for 40 years - and in Dubuque for 2 of those years. Yet somehow I had never made it out on the river.

Wow.

This is what I missed:

This is a sight I think I'd always appreciate but living most of the year in desert makes this green landscape and water a bit more heart warming.

My friend Shawn captained the boat...

...his wife Missy is on the right and her friend Laurel joined us.

After docking the boat on an island Shawn and I decided to walk upstream and float downriver.

The river is running fast given all the rain. What should have been a leisurely 15 minute ride only lasted 5.

While sitting on the beach I started to build a mound of sand. Shawn added the tower later.

Even after adding lotion everywhere I could think of I'm pretty sure I'm going to feel parts of my body tomorrow that I couldn't think of.

I think I've mentioned before that I know a woman spending the summer at a beach house in Portugal. Her plan is to stay within 6 blocks of the house she rented. I couldn't do it for 3 months but after today on the river I could see doing this life for a couple of weeks.

Contentment is...

... picking 16 pounds of green beans. I had a really productive day starting at 6AM. Today was mostly yard work here and at my parents but it also included meeting my favorite former boss for lunch.

Unrelated: I am probably the only person to live in Dubuque for two years and not go out on the Mississippi river. That's gonna change tomorrow.

Vacation is hard work!

Well, not really, but yesterday I helped a friend move to Ft. Madison and today I was volunteering at ARA Gallery.

There were two problems with today's gig: 1. I was bartending right across from the food table. 2. There were mirrors right above the food table and I saw myself way, way too much.

First three weeks

Since I arrived on June 15 Cedar Rapids has received 10.6 inches of rain - that's more than a normal June and July combined. It has also rained on 15 of 21 days. Add dewpoints of 70+ for most days (read: really sticky) and I am wondering if the relatively cool summer in Al Ain (highs of 108-110 most) would have been better.

Funnel cloud

Driving out to Mom & Dad's I got to see an unmistakable funnel cloud:

I stopped a mile north of Newhall to take these shots.
At this point funnel had clearly defined walls. It takes a lot of energy for a funnel to descend and this one needed some tornado viagra that it obviously didn't get.

I stopped again two miles north and took this. While it was trying to become a tornado it simply petered out.

Another one formed to the south of this one but died so quickly I didn't have a chance to take a picture.

I wanted to see lots of weather during my time back and this trip has great!

Star Wars in Concert

Friends and I went to "Star Wars in Concert" in Des Moines. An orchestra played John Williams' music while clips from the movies played on a jumbo screen. It was amazing and hearing the Imperial March played live was worth the ticket price alone.

My only beef is that I wanted more of this:

I wanted to actually see the musicians playing the music more than hearing the music while movie clips played. It's a minor beef because it was fantastic all around.

The show was narrated by Anthony Daniels, the actor who played C3PO. In this pic you can see him tiny in the lower left hand corner (and, of course, projected on the jumbo-tron.)

I guess I knew C3PO had many stereotypically gay mannerisms but I had never given much thought to the actor portraying him. Wow, all I can say is that Anthony Daniels' flame burns bright.

The day could not have been better. Unfortunately, Mike (Ann's husband) mouthed off to a Storm Trooper and it went downhill from there...

Fourth of July

I was not feeling too great this fourth: The combination of lack of sleep and forgetting my thyroid medicine for most of the time since I've been back. I feel wiped out. Nevertheless, I joined Robby and Amanda & Peter to see the Iowa City fireworks.

In total they were far behind a normal Cedar Rapids show. The difference is that we were 200 yards from where they were being set off. The super booms were so close you feel them reverberate in the chest and there wasn't any time for warning: Flash and immediate boom.

I liked that. Overall, a good night. I took thyroid medicine twice today (shhh... don't tell anyone) and I'm taking an ambien to get a good night of sleep. I hope to feel like a different person tomorrow but I know it will take a few days to kick in.

Star Bar

Years ago a student said she worked at the Star Bar in Fairfax. I asked, "So is your bar famous for anything or is it a regular townie bar?" She said they were famous for their broasted chicken. "People stop by from all over to get it."

I was skeptical but gave it try. It is pure, unadulterated deep fat fried greatness.

Fortunately, my friend Sam lives in nearby Walford and was willing to join me for lunch.

You may think, "Big deal... it is fried chicken." But, boy, would you be wrong! First, the batter is simple and delicious. Sam told me he doesn't eat the skin on chicken and I thought, "Yippee! More for me!" Once he tasted this, however, he decided it was pretty good. Second, for those you uninitiated on the wonders of broasting: Broasting is deep fat fried in a pressure cooker. I'm not sure how the pressure cooker makes it better but it does.

I'm going to have to keep reminding myself that this was a one time stop this summer. In case any of you want to go I'm sure I can easily forget.

Channeling my inner-economist

I'm trying to make life better for the guys living in my house and part of that requires me to clear off a bookcase. It is full of VHS movies and CD's. While it is a small library compared with friends from my era, it still represents a huge outlay of cash over the years. Since I spent that much money on all these you can't just get rid of them, right?

The economist's answer is "Yes, we can."

The videos and CD's are a sunk cost. There's nothing I can do about how much I spent for them. The question is how much utility (benefit) they bring me now. The answer for that is zero. I can download any movie/song I want and I don't even know where I have a VHS player tucked away.

I'll take them to Goodwill next week (assuming they won't reject them). If anyone wants them before that let me know.

Why the change?

The right side of my pics were getting cut off for reasons I couldn't explain. Changing the format seems to have stopped the problem. I'll spend some time later tweaking this format. I'm not a fan but at least Aaron in the post below and Jason a few posts down are not cut in half.

Glory Days?

I have several friends from high school. Sometimes when we gather all I can think of is Springsteen's song "Glory Days." There is certainly more to life than HS and I've always felt sad for those who seem to trapped by the memories. Actually, I've always tried to live my life by a different 80's song (Billy Joel): "The good old days weren't always so good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems."

Tonight's gathering was with three of my closest friends over the decades. We shared news of our lives, debated the pro's and con's of many issues and enjoyed a fantastic meal. Our host Aaron is a fantastic cook and almost everything came out of his impressive garden. As our "Dr. Dr." friend (medical doctor and Ph.D.) he's so perfect he'd make you sick if he weren't such a nice guy.

It didn't occur to me until now that we hardly mentioned high school. The friends where you can pick up where you left off and not have to relive the glory days? Those are the keepers.

The country's bad news is my good news

With the economy in the ditch (and looking like it is about to go off the cliff) The Fed has done all it can spur lending. Super-ridiculously low interest rates are it's main tool and that is sure helping me.

Six years ago I took out a 5/1 ARM. What does that mean? It means my interest rate was fixed at 4.5% for the first five years and then would "float" every year after that based on The Fed's 1 year bond rate. So my mortgage is carrying a 3.125% interest rate this year.

Yippee!

Given the lack of fiscal stimulus these really low interest rates are likely to continue for many years. (Interest rates will only go up when the economy rebounds... which without a good stimulus won't happen.)

That's great news for me and but bad news for the millions who are being left unemployed.

How bad is it? Economist Krugman is predicting a depression. It's avoidable but at the moment there's no sign that congress or the president will take the necessary steps.