My mentor - Bill Spellman - and my mother -Joyce Kranz - both suffered from systemic Lupus. Ultimately it killed them both.
Before going on I need to explain my relationship with these two people. I was Mom's favorite. I started this blog when I left America so she could hear from me every day. After she died my interest in keeping the blog alive also died.
Bill Spellman was a man for whom my relationship with him was beyond friendship/family. I knew well before his death I'd be the one giving his eulogy.
Now, back to the premise.
Spellman and Mom had the same amazing doctor at the University of Iowa. I'd drive 6 hours back from my job in Nebraska to take Mom to her appointments with Strotman. Why? Mom had selective hearing. It was important for me to be in the room to take notes and later explain it to Mom in detail.
Spellman had it worse than Mom but felt grateful. As I said in his eulogy, "How can you feel grateful?" He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I mean it. So far the lupus is attacking my bones. It could be much worse."
Mom, on the other hand, saw value in being a victim. My favorite memory of this? The 2004(?) family reunion where Mom told all attendees, "I have less than a year to live." When she sat down I said, "So what are you gonna say next year?" Mom lived another 7 years.
There is no question I am the product of Merlon and Joyce Kranz. I am physically Merlon Kranz. I am psychologically Joyce Kranz... And to be clear, I am also a product of Bill Spellman... My favorite phrase from him? "Fuck you very much." Trust me, I use it a lot.
The two human beings I was closest to both suffered from systemic lupus. I'd have given my life for either of them without hesitation. One saw it as a speedbump. The other saw it as a way to die as a martyr for a cause.
Life is weird.
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