Why I hate trigger warnings for college students

Note: I teach adults. I do not teach children. The rules of the road for those under 18 are very different for those over 18.

Please watch this before you continue reading: Trigger warnings

I have never put trigger warnings into my syllabi and I am not about to start. By the time you start college you need to be ready, willing, and able to handle things you could not handle as a child. By the time you graduate from college you have to be ready to accept a world where there are no guardrails. You're on your own. 

A trigger warning is telling students that they cannot hear certain words... which is ridiculous. Suicide and mental illness is common in my family - it took out my aunt, uncle, and brother. I am not triggered if someone says, "Suicide" nor should I be. 

Where I am... and we really need to have a different word for this...where you are going to see me lose my shit: When someone uses suicide as a tool to manipulate people. 

To be clear:

The word suicide does not trigger me. It's how it is used that triggers me.

Early on in my time coordinating the intro to management class at UAEU I had a professor tell me he wouldn't teach the sexual harassment lesson to his students. I replied, "You will because we are AACSB accredited and the two elements of sexual harassment are very much a part of any introduction to management class. I guarantee it will be on the final." 

In some classes in America, students are being exempted from the classes where sexual harassment is discussed. 

Trust me on this: I've taught the basics of sexual harassment to almost 10,000 students. Several female students and a couple of male students talked to me outside of class to tell me the stories of their harassment. Not one burst out into tears as I discussed the subject and not one gave me a bad review. 

In other words? What's better than a trigger warning? Better teaching. 

PS - the former student who made this rant possible just let me know he's alive and well. I do not care why he left me hanging for a week worried that he killed himself. Life is too short to care about manipulative people.  (Yeah, it's best I do not work for a suicide hotline, but I digress.)

2023 Fall

 More important than anything you will learn in this class: Know who you'd take a bullet for, who you'd take a punch for, who you'd be willing to defend in public and who you'd walk away.

I am a lucky man because I have dozens of friends who love me. I'm not being bragging; it's true.

The reason they love me is simple: I have never lied to them. 

Am I capable of lying? Yeah, play poker with me... I know how to lie.

But I don't with my friends... it's just that simple. 

I lived for many years as a guy pretending to be someone he wasn't. In my early 20's I realized, "Yeah, this isn't working." So I moved to the 100% honesty model. 

It's not for everyone. Trust me, I've lost friends by being 100% honest. 

But that's OK. My world is not made better by "friends" who are my friend because I tell them what they want to hear. I want the friend to tell me what s/he really thinks. 

My friend Mohamed Saleh is a guy who:

1. Phenomenal athlete

2. Phenomenal entrepreneur

3. Close friend

I admire people who are gifted. Gifted at piano, science, sport, whatever. 

I'm gifted at storytelling and moderately gifted at all things tech. 

For me to return to UAEU and teach the capstone course (to students who had 3 years ago for the intro course) is kinda a dream come true. I love seeing how students have matured from when I saw them at the entry level. 

3 tickets

 Napolean Bonaparte: "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

In Iowa the Iowa State Fair is the main attraction for all Republican candidates. I love the State Fair. That I'm missing the cookies... everything you can imagine on a stick, and the view from the ski lift makes me sad I couldn't make it back home this summer.

Given that 100,000 Iowans come to the fair each day it is not surprising that every Republican running for President was there yesterday. On January 15, 2024 Iowa hosts the first test of the Republican nominating systerm. Iowa has a mixed record in choosing the winner of the Republican nomination. #TedCruz beat #DonaldTrump in 2016 and #JohnMcCain didn't even try to compete back in #2008... but... there is no doubt #GeorgeWBush would have never been President if it wasn't for his huge win back in 2000.

There are three tickets out of Iowa. Former President Trump will most certainly be getting one of those tickets. The question becomes, "Who else gets a ticket?

In the past I liked to create mischief - I caucused for Pat Buchanan in 1996 and Rick Santorum in 2012.  Neither Republican stood a chance in the general election so I was happy to support them to become the Republican nominee.

But the days of playing mischief are over. Democracy and the role America plays on the world stage is in question. 

On January 15th, Iowa Independents and Democrats have the ability to caucus with the Republicans. The question is, Who do we support?

I suggest we have 3 criteria that the candidate must meet:

1. Accept the results of 2020. 

2. Tell hard truths to the party - Climate change is real, vaccines save lives, supporting Ukraine is important, etc.

3. Support democracy going forward.

So who does that leave for us to support?

Chris Christie is not a good choice. He is a protest candidate with a singular mission of taking out the guy he once supported.

Doug Burgham -the governor of North Dakota is interesting but to be clear, the only area of expertise is energy. It's like he is running to be the secretary of energy more than he's running for President.

South Carolina senator Tim Scott is interesting but so far his campaign seems to be like Mitt Romney 2008... meaning, he knows he's not gonna win this time so he's running in the "I shall make no enemies so please keep me in mind in 2012."

I heard a great interview with former Congressman Will Hurd... but he's the longest of longshots.

Bottom line: We Iowa independents and Democrats cannot make mischief in 2024. We have to coalesce around a Republican who is sane. Democracy is on the line and we have the ability to help one of the sane candidates get one of the three tickets to the Republican nomination.

It's time to start the discussion.

TrueBlueIowan signing off for now.

Blocked memory

 My Aunt Leona - the beloved matriarch of our family - related a story to Miriam today about how badly abusive her parents were. Basically, on the night of her graduation Mom was beaten so badly that her boyfriend (future husband) removed her from the house and took her to stay with her best friend Miriam. (That my sister is named Miriam is not a coincidence.)

They were both 17 and in 1952 there was no protective service. Dad, as I alluded to in his eulogy, literally rescued Mom from an abusive household. 

Dad turned 18 and Mom turned 18 on August 11. Mom and Dad were married that day.

As Miriam told me what Leona had said I thought, "Umm, I knew this. Mom had told me this. Why on earth would I have forgotten that? (There was a piece of info in the story about Dad's father trying to help that I absolutely had never heard before.)

So we all know memory is a tricky thing. When your mother, your father (revealed after we resolved our differences) and aunt all tell the same story? It's fact. 

That I had that memory blocked says something about me... 

Anyhow, I'm now ready to finish Mom's eulogy and it will be done tomorrow. 

Eight Fights

 This American Life is a radio show/podcast that tells stories based on a theme. Usually it's about Americans. Episode 807: Eight fights is a story about Russian and a Ukrainian who have a son together. When war breaks out, what do you do with the son?

Masha Gessen writes for the New Yorker. She wrote and narrated this story about two of her longtime friends. It is the story of Nadia - a lesbian - who had a son with a gay male friend named Karen. 

If this seems confusing, that's OK. The hardest part for me was coming to grips with a guy named Karen. 

Nadia and Karen were living in Moscow when Luka was conceived. Shortly after he was born Mom and son moved to Kyiv. She raised him to be Ukrainian. Dad spent a month with Luka every summer and told him that Ukraine was a backwater agricultural state whereas Russia had the arts. class etc. This part of the story rang very true to me. As the True Blue Iowan, I see how my coastal friends look down on those of the Midwest, but I digress.

I won't give away anymore of the story. It's today's must listen podcast if you have the time.

Learning from loss

 In 1989 I ran for student body president as a sophomore. No sophomore had ever been elected to the office but I wanted to be the first. I'm arrogant... that's a given.

I chose a runningmate I didn't know well. She was a well-meaning person and I wish nothing but the best for Andrea.

My opponent in that race was Renee. I like Renee... let's be clear she is a phenomenal woman.

Renee chose Forest as her running mate and I knew... before any votes were cast... I'm fucked.

Why? Forest was a Phi Tau and the guy every str8 woman on campus wanted. So my opponents are a woman from the largest sorority and a guy who is part of the second largest fraternity but has ZERO enemies. I've never met a guy who didn't like Forest. He's the man every other cis-gender man wants to be, but I digress.

A year later, everyone knows I'm going to run. That's a given. This time I chose Tony as my running mate. Rather than run with someone who I didn't know well I chose to run with a guy I'd take a bullet for. If I win I win; if I lose I lose - my fall back was remaining as the chairperson of the student senate... a job I liked more than being student body president, but that's a story for a different day.

Tony signed on. Tony has two awesome older brothers. I was his adopted older brother at Coe. 

Tony took J-term to explore the southwest of the United States. Unfortunately, the election is being held while he is gone.

My opponents in my second go at the job: The biggest stud TKE and the biggest partier Coe has ever known. 

The difference? Before I entered the race I secured endorsements from, well, enough influencers that I knew I was gonna win this race. Losing sucks and I wasn't about to lose again. 

As I said to both Chuck and Dustin - "You are both studs but you're in my world and I'm gonna kick your ass."

Revenge of the Nerds 

Intelligent human beings learn from mistakes. I knew why I lost on my first attempt and I'm happy I lost. It set me up to run and win... and a mark of how successful Tony and I were? 

When he ran for student body president he had nobody running against him... which, I think, has never happened before or since.