May Day

Last year I booked a trip to Egypt with Ann and Mohamed.  Just before that trip Mohamed went crazy on a school trip to Canada and decided to freeze me out of Egypt.  Ann said that was OK with her and the two of them headed to Egypt.  I ate my non-refundable ticket and booked an expensive last minute trip home.

Logically I should have distanced myself from them.  What kind of friends do that to a friend?  Instead I doubled down:  I did everything I could to make things good for the three of us.  I wasn't being magnanimous; I was desperate.  I couldn't imagine living 7000 miles from home without Ann and Mohamed.  

Over the past year I caught them in a bunch of small lies... lies about things that didn't need lies.  I ignored the red flags.  Basically, Mohamed played me like a fiddle and Ann chose to accompany.

This saga came to a head a month ago with another spring break trip and a bunch more lies.  (Although they did such a bad job lying I suspect they wanted me to figure it out.) After they returned to the Emirates I told them I wanted time to sort things out.  In the meantime Mohamed deleted/blocked me on FB. 

I told Ann today (May 1) that I would like to talk and she replied that she would only talk if I went to AA.  (I know I drink too much.  It is something I would be willing to talk about but it has no connection to screwing me out of Egypt and lying to me for a year.  Or maybe it there is a connection.  I would have been willing to discuss that.)

I don't like setting a condition for a friendship but that's Ann's choice. It's unfortunate she wasn't willing to explain exactly how my drinking affects our friendship beyond the fact she doesn't like people who drink more than her (which is anyone who drinks.)

*****

As I told Ann, losing your two closest friends is a gut-wrenching experience.  The idea was so devastating last year that I swallowed every bit of dignity and begged them to be my friends again after the Egypt trip.  I simply couldn't fathom living in this country without them.  

The good news is that a year has passed.  Egypt was a definite wake-up call.  Before Egypt I would have considered winning the lottery more likely than having Ann and Mohamed leaving me behind.  Combined with the little lies I guess I saw this coming.  

My reaction today surprised me:  I'm relieved.  A year ago this would have devastated me.  I would have been on the floor crying.  Literally... on the floor crying. I have no doubt.  Instead it was honest relief:  No more lies, no more fake acts, no more "knowing glances" between the two of them.  Yippee!

*******

I know the next couple of months will be difficult.  I hope the story above does not read "anger" because that is not the emotion I am feeling.  I wish Ann and Mohamed well.  I wish them the best in their future friendships and relationships.