Call the bluff

Students go to school here for free.  The one requirement is that they show up and get a C.

I had a student e-mail that he was really in my class during the first week when I counted him absent.  I replied, "I took attendance on both days of the first week and you weren't not there for either.  So I should have counted you absent twice."

The e-mail reply:  "Oh, sorry, doctor."

Today he came to reiterate the apology; he confused my class with one he actually came to during the first week.

Yeah, right.

I'm on to you guys.  I'm on to you!

Good weather, good harvest, good prices

Thanks to a spectacularly dry fall, farmers in Iowa are bringing in the harvest much faster than usual.  Given the plentiful rain this summer they are getting a very high yield on their corn and soybeans.  And - this is the best part - the prices are high.  Farmers can lock in $4.50+/bushel on corn and $10+/bushel on beans.  (Trust me, those are good prices.)

Part of the good news is because of really bad news in Russia:  A drought and high temps there have destroyed crops.  The other part is that the dollar has lost 15% value vs. Euro.  That makes buying American corn and beans much cheaper.  Yippee!

Err, wait a minute.

I live in a country where the currency is tied to the dollar. The dollar goes up, the dirham goes up.  The dollar goes down, the dirham goes down. From 2001 - 2008 the dollar went down pretty much every year.  We didn't notice it as much in the US, but here they buy almost everything from Europe and Japan and the dollar/dirham going down meant most everything they buy in the stores cost more.

During the financial crisis the dollar shot up.  Hence, for the past two years there has been pretty much no inflation here.  Yippee!  (Real, this time.)

But in the last couple of months the dollar has continued on its downward trajectory.  When I came here in 2008 it took $1.60 to buy one euro.  Six months ago it was $1.19.  Now it's back to $1.37.

Stop yawning!

My students ask why the US would do this (under the assumption that the US is all-powerful and could stop it if we wanted).  My reply:  "The central bank of the US hopes you will buy American.  As the dollar looses value it makes a BMW from Germany and a Toyota from Japan more expensive.  We hope you'll choose to buy a GM product.  So, please, do buy American and give a job to the unemployed people in my country."

Just a different form of crazy

Today the topic of the so-called ground zero mosque and the guy planning to burn the Koran on 9-11 came up.  I think those completely outraged by the idea of a mosque near ground zero are crazy.  (How many of them were opposed to a strip club that is even closer to the "sacred ground"?)  I think the guy with 30 - THIRTY - parishioners who wanted to burn the Koran on 9-11 is beyond crazy.  And the media that gave that guy attention are crazy as well.

Not even five minutes after the discussion of crazy Americans a student asserted that Starbucks is secretly funneling money to the Israeli intelligence.

I replied, "I think you are as crazy as those opposing the ground zero mosque and the 20% of Americans who think President Obama is a Muslim.  I know I won't convince you but all I want you to think about is this:  Starbucks is a publicly traded company.  The people who own them - the shareholders - have one goal. What it is that?"

"To make a profit" many answer at once.

"So, how would them secretly giving money to the Israeli intelligence help them make a profit?"

I've heard the "Starbucks helps Israel" comment many times.  It's even more pervasive than the Nike controversy.

Home is...

Here are the responses I received to "Home is where the _______ is.":

• It's where your heart is.
• Is where you feel safe and loved.
• the mess you need to clean up and the laundry you need to catch up on
• It's where my furry family, hubby and favorite blankie are :)
• Home is where I can find some true friends to walk with, friends I can live till my life ends one day!
• Home is where the Ollie, Lucy, and Ben are!

Denise submitted one that made me laugh out loud:

• Home is where they send the bills.

Shellie has one that rings true to me and explains why I'm spending so much time thinking about this:

• Home is where your heart and mind are both in agreement, that is where you belong.  :)

And finally, Sam, pretty much describes my feelings:

• Where u don't feel out of place.

My heart and mind are in Iowa.  I have dozens of friends there.  My family is there.  I have my house there.  I have my dog there.*


So why do I feel more comfortable in the UAE?


Here's some superficial reasons:

• I have a really nice apartment.  Between this place and my house in Cedar Rapids?  It's no contest.
• I like having McGyvor,  a reliable auto mechanic, a maid, and a place to press my shirts cheap.  

For someone who has Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) every cloudy winter, the constant sun here is another plus.


But, really?  Sam hit the nail on the head he wrote, "Where u don't feel out of place."  In Iowa now I'm a visitor.  At my house I'm a visitor.  This summer I removed more of my stuff because my attitude is that they are the ones really living there... but it doesn't make my house my home when I'm back.


My conclusion for me?

• Home is where structure is.

Here I have a job.  I plan for it and I teach.  I have a purpose and that makes me content.  Most would kill for a 3 month vacation.  Not me.  My best two weeks were at the end:  I saw some long lost friends and spent several days picking popcorn.  That was fantastic!  For at least a month in the middle I was wasted human flesh.


So while I agree with Shellie that home is where the heart and mind are in agreement - and Cedar Rapids, Iowa, is where my heart and mind is - Sam nailed it.  With the structure of my job I don't feel out of place... and that's what makes me feel at home.


* I think there'd be a lengthy custody battle if I tried to take Gus away from my mother.

Quote of the day

From a friend on FaceBook:

"The next time you go to a restaurant and order a Coke and they say, 'Is Pepsi OK?" you should respond with 'Is Monopoly money OK?'"

Kevin Bacon statue

... done in bacon bits:

I apologize for neglecting my bacon appreciating audience.  When I returned three weeks ago I saw bacon at the pork shop and thought, "Aww, I'll get it next time."  Now they're out.  After two years here you'd think I'd have learned my lesson.

Where your tax dollars go

For my last full year of income in the US I paid $7500 in income tax and $3900 in payroll taxes.  Here's how the $11,400 would have been spent in 2009:

Social Security	$1555.07
Medicare	$934.67
Medicaid	$575.71
Interest on the National Debt	$771.58
Combat Operations in Iraq and Afghanistan	$616.05
Military Personnel	$518.25
Veteran’s Benefits	$200.67
National Parks	$186.45
Federal Highways	$171.75
National Institutes of Health	$125.11
Foreign Aid	$123.87
Education for Low-Income K–12 Students	$102.61
Military Retirement Benefits	$87.63
Pell Grants	$79.97
NASA	$75.51
Internal Revenue Service	$47.55
Environmental Protection Agency	$31.37
FBI	$30.13
Head Start	$29.33
Public Housing	$28.23
Drug Enforcement Agency	$8.44
Amtrak	$5.99
Smithsonian Museum	$3.01
Funding for the Arts	$0.65
Salaries and Benefits for Members of Congress	$0.51

You can plug in your own numbers here.

Somewhat related:  Matt Tiabi of the Rolling Stone has a piece on the Tea baggers Party that is a must read.

Happy Anniversary!

Thirty-two years ago I cried (and cried) as my sister got married.  I still reserve judgment on George for taking Mimi away from us, but in the spirit of the day I give them this:

Today, September 30, also happens to be the 50th anniversary of the Flintstones.  In case you miss the gay ole time:

Although, thanks to my friend Mike, I can’t think of this show without thinking of this. 

Toys-R-Us advice on saving money

I suspect you'd save more than $600.

Via the DailyWhat.

New things to ponder

Earlier this week I asked, "Home is where the _____ is."  and I will return to that topic in the next couple of days.

Tonight I'm left wondering about fake public personas. Last spring I wrote about a colleague who ridiculously tried to throw me under the bus.  The guy I mentioned was bitter because he had lost a phenomenally well paying job here and was relegated to making a mere $50k+ per year.  As he returned this fall he turned his hatred on many others and was subsequently relieved of his job.

Six months ago this would have shocked me; he was a colleague I had worked with on several projects and he seemed incredibly energetic and positive.  After what happened in June, I can't say I'm surprised.

A friend lived next to the guy and said the late night fights with his wife kept her up several nights each week.

Those who know me know that my persona in public and in the classroom is very much the same as I am in private.  I'm not claiming any moral superiority; I simply think it would be too much work to change who I am when teaching.

To portray yourself as someone you're not is incredibly hard.  I know; I did it for a good part of my youth and early adulthood.  Tonight I ponder what it must be like for those who constantly feel the need to produce a fasad while in their 30's and 40's and beyond.  They must know that eventually someone will see around the false front.  

I haven't let go of the bitterness of the guy who tried to screw me last June.  I should.  He's gone from making over $120,000 to zero due to his behavior.  Moreover, he knows he's a fake.  

So tonight I'll continue to ponder karma and public persona vs. reality.  I'm not expecting to find any answers.

Not so screwed

This morning I went to the police station with the goal of obtaining a letter OK'ing someone to break into my car.  The officer took care of that and asked if I had anyone lined up to open the car and make new keys.  "No," I said, "Nissan refused to help me."

"You don't want the dealership to help you, anyway!"  he replied.  "They will charge thousands of dirhams.  There are plenty of shops in Sanaya who can do it for you.  Would you like me to call someone?"

He placed a call and asked if I'd pay 400 dirhams ($110).  He thought the price was a bit high but I said, "Sure!"  I waited at the police station for the guy to arrive and take him across town to where my car had been parked for six days.  While I was waiting they brought me tea.

I'm telling 'ya, cops are very different here than in the US!  

 I didn't have a chance to take a picture of him breaking into my car because it took five seconds.  Because of the car's electronic security he couldn't simply create a mold and make a key.  He disassembled the steering wheel and started the car without using any key.

(There's something about how fast he could break in and start my car that was reassuring and scary at the same time.)

At the shop he asked if I wanted spare key.  He said the price would be 200 Dirhams ($55).  I know I was supposed to haggle the price down but I was so excited to have all of this done for $165 that I said, "OK."

There's an American born every minute.

He apparently felt bad enough for overcharging me that he threw in a Nissan key chain.

The lessons I learned today:  1.  Workers for big companies (like Nissan) have no incentive to provide customer service.  Blowing me off yesterday was one less problem the guy had to deal with.  2. The police at the police station were extraordinarily helpful.  An Egyptian commented, "They were extra nice to you because you're American.  Try being Egyptian and see how much help you get."  3. I will always and forever suck at bargaining.

******
After spending several hours outside today I have to say I'm not as acclimated to this weather as I previously believed.  105 is bloody hot.

Piecing together a night on Ambien

After taking Ambien for a month straight before I left the US I spent the first two weeks here without it.  Last night I knew I had to be up early and was in no mood to sleep.  I succumbed to taking half a tablet.

The result?

 This morning I woke up to find a plate of cookies.

And as I left I found my broom in the stairwell.

Ambien either makes a person tired and wanting to go bed or energetic.  When I take an Ambien and realize, "Oh crap, I'm not going to sleep" I try to think of whatever mundane tasks I've wanted to do that I haven't done.  Last night those tasks were:  1.  Writing the blog post about weather.  (Have no memory of writing it) and, 2.  Cleaning out the stairwell.

While cleaning out the stairwell a very appreciative neighbor gave me cookies left over from Eid (The celebration after Ramadan.)

At least that's what I think happened but I can't be sure.  If my experience on Ambien this summer with my roommates is any lesson it's quite possible I walked into my neighbor's apartment and took the plate of cookies.

No, not really.  I vaguely remember seeing her and today she referenced talking to me last night.  The picture of the plate of cookies was taken at 11:14 last night.  When I'm on Ambien I say to myself, "You will not remember this tomorrow.  Leave clues."

I can't believe this drug is legal.

Three phases of the day

Good
They fixed two air conditioners.  I can now live in my living room.

Better
I paid two years of traffic fines:  1250 Dirhams ($340).  I was expecting triple that.

Totally screwed
Nissan says they can't make a key for the car even with the VIN number.  I have no idea what to do.

Weather

Iowa is looking to have an above normal month for temps in October.  The outlook for October - December is also above normal.  Congratulations!

A colleague here has a house in southern Illinois.  He asked me last week, "How are you dealing with the drought?"

I laughed and then coughed.  "Umm, Iowa had a very wet summer... almost twice the normal rainfall.  Being a weather geek I was following the weather in your area and I know you got almost nothing.  I'm sorry to hear it."

Unrelated:  I wonder if I've become acclimated to the heat here.  It's been 105+ most every day (without humidity) and it's not bothered me at all.  I even joined friends one evening to sit in a patio bar and didn't break a sweat.

Every couple of days the temps are dropping.  Later this week the high will only be 102 and the low -- get this! -- will be 79!  Woo-hoo!

So what am I woo-hooing about?  The temperature in this city has not fallen below 80 degrees since June 2.  Think about that.  Above 80 degrees all the time for almost 120 days.  Yep, that's my home.

Want an even bigger shocker?*  It's been over 100 every single day since May 8.  That puts us at 141 days straight over 100.

* I swear sometimes I feel like an infomercial pitch-man when I write this blog.  I should have written, "But wait, there's more!"  If I could take rejection better I think being a salesman would have been my calling.

Teaching is the next closest thing I could find.

Home is where the ________ is.

Fill in the blank.  If you are not willing to answer in the comments section you can reach me at trueblueiowan@gmail.com

It's a subject I've been giving a lot of thought to in the past few months.  I want to hear some responses before I give mine.

It was bound to happen

Over the years I've become almost zen-like about losing things.  It rarely bothers me.  On Wednesday I lost my car keys on the women's campus and I have no spare set.  (The fact I had the car for two years without losing them before is a miracle within itself.)  I have tried to get a spare set in the past and even tried at the Nissan dealership in Cedar Rapids.  No luck.

So my car has been sitting in the parking lot for five days.  I haven't been worked up because I was sure someone would turn them in.  Sure!  Positive!

After five days I'm not so sure.  My car is still there, collecting dust.  Tomorrow I will beg the Nissan dealership to do whatever it takes to get me a replacement.  Wish me luck.

I think I'll need it.

The ads

I added Google's Adsense.  Why?  I want to know what ads Google would give me.  Would it be ads based on the content of the posts?  (That's why I added it after a bunch of posts on tailgating... I wanted to see if the ads were aimed at tailgating.)  I also wanted to know if the ads were geographically based.  Some websites display ads for me based on my IP address.

I think we'll all see slightly different ads.  Please let me know if you see one particularly interesting.

Strategic water reserve

Astonishing fact #1:  This country uses 145 gallons of water per day per person... the highest consumption in the world.  Even with my 2 showers per day I'm using only 10-15 gallons so what gives? This is a very green, well-landscaped place... which requires a lot water given six months of uninterrupted sun and temps of 110 degrees.


Astonishing fact #2: 98% of the potable water comes from desalination plants.  What if an oil rig in the Persian Gulf started leaking the rig int the Gulf of Mexico?  The supply of water to this country would be instantly contaminated.


The government has announced that they will begin injecting water underground to fill aquifers.  Should the gulf water become contaminated these aquifers would provide a 30 day supply.  A 30 day supply is nothing if the Persian Gulf became as polluted as the Gulf of Mexico, but it's a start.


As I was discussing this with a friend he said, "Well, at least it gives us enough time fly the $#$% out of here."

A first: It's warmer in Cedar Rapids

At this moment - 11PM on September 22nd - it is actually 1 degree warmer in Cedar Rapids than it is in Al Ain. It's 2PM in Cedar Rapids and the forecast for the next week is much better for them than it is for us in the desert.... Regardless, I had to document the moment.

Stop muttering, "Geek!" I can hear you.

Now I have to go outside and experience the cooler weather.

*****

Update: I stood on my tiny deck and shook out my carpet full of sand on the neighbor's car below. It was a satisfying moment as the cats she feed have been killing birds and leaving them in our stairwell for the past year. They also use our stairwell as a litterbox... which is odd since I live in the largest sandbox in the world.

The Iowa-Iowa State rivalry

On the day before I departed for the Emirates I went down to Iowa City to witness the tailgating parties at the Iowa-Iowa State game. Apparently, tailgating is an American phenomena. When I've mentioned it to my British and Australian counterparts they've replied with, "Don't you have a nice pub you could drink at before the game?"

*****

I'm an Iowa alum. We have more in common with our in-state rivals than any other team we play all season yet no loss stings more than losing to them.

Several years ago I traveled to Ames to take pictures at an Iowa-Iowa State game. In that era the teams were even and the tension was palpable. This year Iowa was the clear favorite and it made for a fun atmosphere.

While walking around I twice heard from an Iowa State fan, "Please don't hurt us."

Hence, it was not surprising to see acts of love trumping the rivalry.

Every parent wants the best for their children. Even though this woman graduated from Iowa State, she hopes for a better life for her son.