Tonight I'm left wondering about fake public personas. Last spring I wrote about a colleague who ridiculously tried to throw me under the bus. The guy I mentioned was bitter because he had lost a phenomenally well paying job here and was relegated to making a mere $50k+ per year. As he returned this fall he turned his hatred on many others and was subsequently relieved of his job.
Six months ago this would have shocked me; he was a colleague I had worked with on several projects and he seemed incredibly energetic and positive. After what happened in June, I can't say I'm surprised.
A friend lived next to the guy and said the late night fights with his wife kept her up several nights each week.
Those who know me know that my persona in public and in the classroom is very much the same as I am in private. I'm not claiming any moral superiority; I simply think it would be too much work to change who I am when teaching.
To portray yourself as someone you're not is incredibly hard. I know; I did it for a good part of my youth and early adulthood. Tonight I ponder what it must be like for those who constantly feel the need to produce a fasad while in their 30's and 40's and beyond. They must know that eventually someone will see around the false front.
I haven't let go of the bitterness of the guy who tried to screw me last June. I should. He's gone from making over $120,000 to zero due to his behavior. Moreover, he knows he's a fake.
So tonight I'll continue to ponder karma and public persona vs. reality. I'm not expecting to find any answers.
What is a fasad?
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