I am way too stressed out about a workshop on Tuesday. Why? It is being held in an auditorium that seats 500 and anything less than 200 attending will look like a failure - at least to me. Not being able to control the outcome unnerves me like nothing else.
Twenty plus years ago Sandy commented that I have severe control issues. I can't remember if that was before or after we dated. Hmm...
From this I learned: 1. Never date a psychology major, and, 2. Sandy is always right.
The stress has insanely reached the point that I have developed an alkaline taste in my mouth. It's a taste I am familiar with because it became a constant companion when I worked for Susan at Hamilton. Going to work each day with the expectation of being fired is quite stressful... imagine doing it for five years.
And that's what makes my current situation so comical: If only 10 people show up I won't be fired. I probably won't even get in any trouble. This is a stress that is 100% of my own making.
Sometimes it is not easy being me.
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