Jealousy

All names except mine have been changed to protect the innocent.

I've never understood jealousy in romantic relationships. (In friendships I can maybe see it and for successful enemies I totally understand jealousy.) 

Robert, my friend and pledge son, once dated a stripper. If anyone should feel insecure it is a guy whose girlfriend gets paid to dance naked in front of ogling men. I asked him how it made him feel. "It's great! These guys throw money at her and at the end of the night she comes home to have sex with me."

His gf told me one of my favorite jokes: "Strip clubs are where men get fucked but do not get laid." 

*****

I was in a relationship with someone way above my pay grade. She was smart - skipped two grades growing up so she was 16 when she graduated - and very well liked. I never met anyone who didn't like her. Most of her friends were men so if I were the jealous type I guess I should have been but I wasn't. Why? Because I am fricking hilarious and who can beat that???

Seriously, I wasn't jealous of her male friends because I knew if she wanted to date them there was nothing I could do about it. Me being jealous is a wasted emotion.

*****

Str8 friend Matt reached out for advice. He has a good gay friend who is in a serious relationship. 

Matt: My friend
Travis: Matt's gay friend
Chad: Travis' jealous boyfriend

Matt: Sooo I need your advice on something… Remember my gay friend Travis that I mentioned the other day? He’s engaged, and we’re really good friends. We hang out sometimes. But his fiancé isn’t happy about it, and it led to a big argument between them a couple of nights ago. Matt has reassured his fiancé that I’m straight and dating women, but he’s still feeling jealous and uneasy. Now, Matt wants me to talk to his fiancé in the hope that might smooth things over. What do you think I should do?

Steve: Jealousy is something I’ve never understood in a relationship… and this is where guys - str8 and gay - fuck up way more than women. 

The nice polite response is to reassure him that you’re str8 and you are not a threat to him at all.
👆that is what I would do ONCE to reassure him. 

If the jealousy persists then I’d confront the elephant in the room.

“Chad, why do you worry about others stealing him away? What is so lacking in your physical or mental being that you worry about this?”

******

You've read my advice. What advice would you have given?

*****

It's worth noting that my pledge son didn't marry the stripper. The woman he married had an affair with one of his employees. In a meeting with his small company, Robert looked at the guy and asked, "Are you going to stop fucking my wife?" To his credit, Robert didn't fire him and didn't punch him. He was divorced not long after.