Good Will Hunting and Mentoring

Robin Williams is remembered as the GOAT of comedians. David Letterman's tribute is here... Interestingly, Robin's Oscar was for a serious role in Good Will Hunting. (This is the movie that propelled Matt Damon & Ben Affleck to stardom.)

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On this day in 1942, Bill Spellman was born. He went on teach and coach football at Coe College where he mentored hundreds over the years. Not simply an academic advisor but a life mentor. 

Spellman was taken away from us in 1997 with a couple of massive heart attacks. I was honored his wife Donna allowed me to give the eulogy:

A key line in my eulogy: "Help from Spellman was born of compassion, not sympathy." Meaning, he wanted to help people, not express sadness for their circumstances.

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In 1998 the movie Good Will Hunting was released. In an early scene I realized Robin Williams embodies everything Bill Spellman was to me and so many others. And, to be clear, this is the scene that won Robin the Oscar, beating the odds on favorite Burt Reynolds for Boogie Nights. 

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I am, unbelievably,  now older than Doc Spellman was when he died. 

The final lines of my eulogy: "I've always believed the best thing you can say about a man is that the world a better place for his having been here... by helping us to be better people the spirit of Bill Spellman lives on."

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I am a truly lucky man to have had him as a mentor. It is because of him that I am in higher education. I hope someday someone is able to give a my eulogy and declare the world is a better place because I was here. 

What's love got to do with it?

Steve  and Michelle were HS sweethearts. Steve was the cool guy who played guita and Michelle was sweet cheerleader whose Mom a school secretary who quietly ran the place.

After HS they stuck together and eventually married. Everyone was happy for them.

At our fifth year class reunion Michelle and Steve seemed happy. As the party was winding down, we were all exchanging hugs. Liquid courage led Michelle to express a side of herself that she had been keeping back.

"Woah," Christine exclaimed, "I was not expecting so much tongue." 

Michelle had decided she preferred women over men. Within a year she divorced Steve and dropped contact with most from our HS.

I was happy to get her friend request on FB. It was good to reconnect. The surprise? She was married and had 2 sons.  Huh?

Happy for her and her family but I'm confused. 

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Dave has been married for many years. He gets along well with his in-laws and loves doing romantic things for his wife. 

The problem?

They haven't had sex in more than 4 years. Although I've never met her I did suspect she might be playing for the other team. When he finally confronted her she confessed she is probably bi or maybe a lesbian. 

I hope the best for the couple. 

It reminds me of this great scene from Sex and the City:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHBjjIC9Eq0

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Which leads me to the question: Can a couple remain a couple if there is no sex?

Addiction

 We all have addictions.

Some addictions are a good thing. At one point I was programming Apple assembly language in hexadecimal. Had I pursued this path I would be a very rich reclusive geek now.

Some addictions are bad. Addiction to gambling can lead to very bad places. (NYU Professor Scott Galloway says its the number one cause of suicide. I'm not gonna take the time to fact-check him.) 

Two of my addictions are caffeine and alcohol. Years ago I went a few months without alcohol to see if: 1. I could do it, and 2. Are there any positive changes? The answer for me is that I could do it and I saw no measurable change in health.

My "Dry January" experiment in 2024 was to go without caffeine. I've ridden the caffeine roller coaster for years. My morning routine is to have a Coke Zero before I head to shower. After awhile I reach a point where I'm having six pack of Coke Zero and two coffees just to get through the day. So I'll go cold turkey off caffeine, endure a few days caffeine withdrawal headaches and then slowly reintroduce caffiene again. It's caffeine roller coaster and I've been riding it since high school.

Fun Fact: In college I went to every class with a Coke. I was known as the Coke guy even among those who never met me or knew me.

Deciding to go three weeks without caffeine was supposed to give me some insight. Is my life better without nature's energy elixir? Will I sleep better? Will I be more or less productive? What will be the great secret I learn from this experiment.

I wish I had some amazing insight. Here are my two take-aways. 1. No caffeine reaffirmed my belief that mornings suck. 2. I jerked off much less. 

I doubt I could get a paper written on that.