30 Days

On Tuesday, April 9, I started working out.  I have been working out every day for the past thirty days.  

Two nights ago I in a dream I had my shirt off and I was in shape.  I realized in the dream that it was a dream but I thought, "This could be me."  I have very few self-confidence boosting dreams.  That's almost as remarkable as working out 30 days in a row.  

I have only lost a few pounds because I'm not doing much on the diet but I certainly feel much better.

Pokhara

I am helping my friend Sanjaya get up a website to advertise his hotel.  As I'm looking through the pictures from my last trip in December 2012 I realized I never blogged about it.  It was a really nice trip.  I need to post more pics.

May Day - Part II

May 1 started as a painful day as explained in the post below.

However, it was also a humorously uplifting day.

I went to a local mall for lunch with my friend Youssef.  As we were walking to Fuddruckers we ran into a former student who is doing her internship in the mall's marketing department.  She was hyper-excited to see me.  She introduced me to her colleagues and gushed, "Oh, Mr. Steve is the best teacher at UAEU..."

False compliments is a way of life here.  If you want to feed your ego there is no better place to work than here.  This student was close to graduating and would never have me again so I thought her comments were more sincere and I thanked her.

As we sat down Youssef said, "As we were walking away she told her colleagues in Arabic. 'He really is the best.  I love him.'"

As we were leaving she stopped me again for a picture.

*****
In another part of the mall Youssef and I were riding up an escalator as 3 guys were going down.  One guy started talking very loud directed to us.  I don't know Arabic but it seemed like we were being made fun of or some sex joke.  Youssef got angry quickly and yelled something back.

When we got to the top I asked, "So what the hell just happened"

Youssef:  That guy was yelling his phone number to you and saying to call if you want a good time.
Steve:  What?
Youssef:  I said the Arabic version of "What the fuck are you talking about."  They then looked at me and said, "You can come, too."
Steve:  Are you sure they weren't mocking me and/or you?
Youssef:  No, you know this is what guys do to women here.  This is the first time I've seen it done to another guy.

*****

The odds of these events happening on a day when I lose my best friend of 30 years seems extraordinarily low... but it certainly helped.

May Day

Last year I booked a trip to Egypt with Ann and Mohamed.  Just before that trip Mohamed went crazy on a school trip to Canada and decided to freeze me out of Egypt.  Ann said that was OK with her and the two of them headed to Egypt.  I ate my non-refundable ticket and booked an expensive last minute trip home.

Logically I should have distanced myself from them.  What kind of friends do that to a friend?  Instead I doubled down:  I did everything I could to make things good for the three of us.  I wasn't being magnanimous; I was desperate.  I couldn't imagine living 7000 miles from home without Ann and Mohamed.  

Over the past year I caught them in a bunch of small lies... lies about things that didn't need lies.  I ignored the red flags.  Basically, Mohamed played me like a fiddle and Ann chose to accompany.

This saga came to a head a month ago with another spring break trip and a bunch more lies.  (Although they did such a bad job lying I suspect they wanted me to figure it out.) After they returned to the Emirates I told them I wanted time to sort things out.  In the meantime Mohamed deleted/blocked me on FB. 

I told Ann today (May 1) that I would like to talk and she replied that she would only talk if I went to AA.  (I know I drink too much.  It is something I would be willing to talk about but it has no connection to screwing me out of Egypt and lying to me for a year.  Or maybe it there is a connection.  I would have been willing to discuss that.)

I don't like setting a condition for a friendship but that's Ann's choice. It's unfortunate she wasn't willing to explain exactly how my drinking affects our friendship beyond the fact she doesn't like people who drink more than her (which is anyone who drinks.)

*****

As I told Ann, losing your two closest friends is a gut-wrenching experience.  The idea was so devastating last year that I swallowed every bit of dignity and begged them to be my friends again after the Egypt trip.  I simply couldn't fathom living in this country without them.  

The good news is that a year has passed.  Egypt was a definite wake-up call.  Before Egypt I would have considered winning the lottery more likely than having Ann and Mohamed leaving me behind.  Combined with the little lies I guess I saw this coming.  

My reaction today surprised me:  I'm relieved.  A year ago this would have devastated me.  I would have been on the floor crying.  Literally... on the floor crying. I have no doubt.  Instead it was honest relief:  No more lies, no more fake acts, no more "knowing glances" between the two of them.  Yippee!

*******

I know the next couple of months will be difficult.  I hope the story above does not read "anger" because that is not the emotion I am feeling.  I wish Ann and Mohamed well.  I wish them the best in their future friendships and relationships.