Don't you dare think of bringing melatonin into this country!

Travis is a good friend who I am sure will not be offended by making fun of him.

He is getting on the plane in a few hours to come here and he just told me he has decided not to bring any melatonin or unisom because he has read that could be a problem when he enters the country.

Umm, no.  I assured him that nobody - and I mean NOBODY - will give a damn in customs.

But I know his feeling.  I read all the warnings before I came here and I thought of many ways I could "get in trouble."  So while I am laughing at him I also understand his fear.

Also, his mother read that somebody in Saudi Arabia has SARS.

A friend of Ann & Mike's almost didn't come after his mother looked up lots of horrible things.

I totally get it - it was me in the summer of 2008 - but it's just laughable once you get here.

Student suggestions

I told my classes that I will be having my first visitor from the US.  I showed my suggestions of things to do and asked for their input.

Student 1:  "Take him to Rashed Ali"

Rashed Ali is a place where the food is cheap - something close to a burrito for $.75 - but the meat highly suspect.

Student 2:  "Then you can take him to Tawam Hospital.  It will be a two-for-one!"

Things to do in the UAE

I will be updating this list over the next couple of days...

Al Ain

• Stone grill (cook a steak on a hot stone)
• Al Noor restaurant (best moutabal)
• A walk through the oasis
• A trip up Jebel Hafeet (our one tiny nearby mountain provides an overlook of the city)
• A desert trip - the sand here is more like powder than sand
• Camel races (at this time of year they only race very early on Saturday mornings... is it worth getting up at 6?  I'll leave that up to Travis)
• Camel market 
• Downtown souk
• Cross over into Oman (just to say you've done it)
• Duning
• Fort and museum at Jahili park. 

Dubai

• Dubai Mall - World's biggest mall and has an interesting indoor aquarium
• Emirates Mall - the indoor ski slope has to be seen to be believed
• Burj Khalifa - the world's tallest building... I've been waiting for a visitor to have an excuse to go up
• Sheikh Zayed Road - I don't know if it is the world's only 14 lane road but it is hard to imagine a larger freeway
• Burj Al Arab - it calls itself the world's only seven star hotel.  I'd like to go in but I've heard it's over $100 just to have coffee...

Abu Dhabi

• Sheikh Zayed mosque - 
• Qasr al Hosn - the oldest building in the country
• Emirates Palace Hotel (the place with the gold ATM)
• Yas waterpark
• Ferrari World
• A walk along the corniche (sidewalk along the Gulf)
• Kayaking through mangroves 

Opportunity cost and visiting the Emirates

My newly unemployed friend Travis (see post below) is already hard at work finding a new job.  Fortunately he decided that he could take ten days off to come visit the Emirates.  It's already warmer than I'd like for doing anything outside but since Trav has lived in Texas and Arizona for the past 15 years I think he can handle it.

My first visitor!  Yippee!

Economics presents the idea of opportunity cost:  What is the value of the next best option?  If the next best option is better, we will change what we do.  It's hard to convince someone who gets two weeks of vacation to eat up all of that vacation traveling to the other side of the planet. There are always better uses of their time and money.  (I have to accept that seeing me is just not enough of a draw.)  So it makes me sad that I haven't had a visitor in my five years but it does make sense.

Unfortunately, the opportunity cost argument didn't work with my friend Matt while he was studying for the bar... I tried and tried...

A bad week for friends

A friend studied and studied for the GMAT - the test to get into an MBA program.  When he took the exam he scored way below where he should have scored... so far below it is ridiculous.  It reminded me of a college friend who would have been a great lawyer but also scored ridiculously low on the LSAT.  It's too bad these standardized tests carry so much weight.

Another friend was fired after 11 years of faithful service to his company.  Having been there I know what he's going through.  As if the act of being fired is not bad enough, having to explain it over and over again to friends is just plain awful.  In my case I would meet people a year later and they would ask for an explanation.  I gave it and received the response, "That's what I had heard but I assumed there had to be more to it."  No, not really, people get fired for ridiculous things while the mildly incompetent can muddle through for years and years.

Another friend learned that a loved-one's terminal illness is nearing the end.  

If bad news comes in the three's I had my three last week.

Mitt Romney explains himself

Here's a visceral quote from the would-be President.

“What I said is not what I believe." 

- Mitt Romney, in an interview with Fox News, on his infamous 47% comment, leading First Read to conclude "that one sentence sums up Romney's two failed presidential bids."

Presidential candidates often change positions to get the nomination or to get elected.  As a political geek, I can't recall any candidate changing as many positions as Romney.  My beef with the Obama campaign is that they strategically chose to paint Romney as a rich, out-of-touch guy who takes pride at giving lay-off notices and banking in the Cayman islands.  I wanted them to go after him as being a guy with no core values who goes with the direction of the wind. My Romney attack is that he will say anything you want to hear.

What I learned from the campaign books I read while in Nepal?  The Obama campaign tested both attacks and found that independents actually like the flip-flopping Mitt so the Obama campaign went with the Thurston Howell approach.  I disagree but that's why I teach management classes and Axelrod/Plouffe run campaigns.

Is it a good thing?

I had one Emirati friend before coming to the Emirates.  Yousef was a freshman at Coe and in the fraternity I advised when I met him in 2004. We kept in touch after he transferred to the warmer weather of Houston.  

He's completed his degrees and has been looking for work for about a year in the US and the Emirates.  He landed a job in Dubai and will start in May.  I have incredibly mixed feelings for him.  He'll live a much better life here than he could in the US - well paid, have a maid, people to take care of everything.

So what on earth is the downside?  In Houston he led a fabulous life that I don't think will be possible for him here.  In the US we use the term "settle down and get married."  That's just not the life I pictured for my friend but here I don't know that he'll have much choice.

Another day in the life of Steve

On Thursday we had a department meeting.  Fortunately, we only have 2-3 per year so compared to 2-3 per week at Hamilton.  Speaking of, "Writing of" sounds too weird... Anyhow, today is five year anniversary of getting fired.  I worked there a little over 5 years.  Soon, I will have worked here as long.  I've been doing my happy dance all day.

But last Thursday I was far from doing a happy dance.  Long story short, I'm kinda getting screwed by being forced to recreate a class from scratch when there is just no reason to do it.  I have no problem developing classes but fixing a class that isn't broken is just a huge waste of time.  I became quite flustered at the meeting and afterwards headed to meet with my boss. Nothing positive came from the meeting but at least I was able to speak my peace.

Later that night I decided to get some work done and I realized I didn't have my laptop.  "When did I have it last? I took it to the department meeting... and from there..."  I realized I left my laptop in my Hawkeye laptop bag in the conference room.  Being it was the beginning of the weekend there was not much I could do.  On Friday (the first day of the weekend) I dutifully checked the conference room and found nothing.  I contacted the cleaning crew and learned they had picked up nothing.

Did I mention that I knew I had 2-500 dirham bills in the bag?  (That's $270.)

I remained relatively calm for the rest of Friday and Saturday.  On Sunday I arrived at 8AM and looked in lost and found.  Nada.  I found the... well, um, his title is office boy but it's just a phrase I can't use, so lets go with "departmental assistant."  He saw the bag in the room on Thursday and locked it up for me.

I opened the bag and discovered that not only was everything intact, but I had 3-500 dirham bills in there instead of two.  So I could have lost my work computer, my Hawkeye laptop bag, tons of data I haven't backed up in over a year and $400.

March 3 is certainly my lucky day.

Mother's Day

It came a little early for me this year.

I spent a lot of time with my friend Vikram on my last trip to Nepal.  He's one of those genuinely good guys. He used to get up at 4 every morning to milk the family cow and yak and take the milk to market to sell for the family to make a few dollars rupees to live on.

Then his mother got sick.  Really sick.  They had to sell the cow to treat her.  He came to the hotel to work with my friend Sanjaya to help support the family.  That's where I met him two years ago.

On my December 2012 trip Vikram and I bonded and a lot of it was on discussing our mothers.  Sadly, Vikram's mother had a heart attack last week.  She's still alive after the heart attack and (what had to be) a horribly uncomfortable 8 hour bus ride to Kathmandu, but the hospital bills mounted.

That's a bill my friend Vikram could not pay.  It was a bill I could pay and I knew if I didn't MY mother would come back to haunt me.

A semester of extremes

Fall 2012 was an odd semester.  My female classes were really good.  Excellent attendance, they actually paid attention... In one class there were no D's or F's.  I don't think that has happened in 10+ years of teaching.  The class GPA of 3.3 is high enough that I could actually get in trouble for being too generous.

On the other hand, I had two low scoring male classes.  19 out of 40 received a D or an F.  The overall GPA was 1.9 - a record low.

And I also had a somewhat heartbreaking score:  A student who came to every class on time and failed so badly I couldn't find a way to give him a D.  He never spoke to me so I don't know what happened but here it is almost because of language ability.  Trying to take a college class with a working vocabulary of 500 words is just very unfortunate.

Boy Scouts of America

I am stunned that the Boy Scouts may drop their homophobic guidelines.  It reminds me of a conversation I had while working at Hamilton.  Two of my closest colleagues are/were conservative Republicans.*  As controversy erupted in 2007 about the Boy Scouts anti-gay policy one of them remarked that the controversy was ridiculous.  The other - seeing me as a reasonable liberal (if there were such a thing) - said, "Steve, I'm sure you support the Boy Scouts."

I responded, "Absolutely not.  They discriminate   Saying they do good things but, yeah, they discriminate doesn't change things.  It's like saying the Klan promoted family  values.  That killing negroes part was just a side issue."

To post or not to post?

Today I was proctoring a test for statistics on the women's campus.  Proctoring exams is as boring as life gets.  I'd rather watch grass grow.  Fortunately, in the room above us there was a piano and we were serenaded for most of the two hours.

During the two hours of the test I checked FB several times.  A male student (not in my room since I am on the female campus) took pictures of his answers to the test and posted them.

I am aware that cheating here is on a level we just can't comprehend in the US... but 8 pictures on Facebook with your answers to every question???

The piano serenade and the pictures posted to FB with both firsts for me.  I can't turn the guy in because he smartly deleted them.  He will be taking MY final on Tuesday.  I will certainly drop him a note that says, "Don't even think of touching your phone during this test.  I saw your stats test on Sunday."

The frozen Great Lakes

Photo from NASA Modis, January 22, 2013.  Can't find the exact link.

Emirati housing

A local newspaper called The National ran this interesting story about housing for Emiratis.  The following is a summary of what I learned from the article, an Emirati friend and other sources:

• Emiratis will never be homeless because the government will provide housing.  Also, there are no water bills and electricity is billed at 5% of what we pay in the US.  (In other words, divide your electricity bill by 20 to get what you'd pay here.)
• Every Emirati family is given land to build on.  I live in the rich emirate of Abu Dhabi where they will also cover the expense of setting up the water/electricity.
• A Dh 500,000 - 750,000 (roughly $130,000 - $200,000) gift is given to help start building.  Typically, the houses - usually a villa - will cost another Dh 1.5 million ($400,000).  Why are villas over $500,000 if the land is free and the plumbing is paid for?  Good question.  It's certainly not the price of Pakistani/Bangladeshi labor that builds it.  Part of the reason may be that most villas are huge to accommodate a dozen or more family plus a maid or two... but I don't have a good understanding why the building costs are so high.
• The loan payment comes out of their paychecks.  If an Emirati loses his job or can't pay he will go to a Sheikh who has the power to wipe out the debt.  
• Many have villas built but continue to live in much smaller government housing.  They rent out the villas to westerners.  (These are westerners who make much more money than me.)  The rent is typically $35,000 - $50,000 per year.  After the loan is paid off the family moves in or continues to collect the rent as a source of income.

This is a family home in Dubai (picture was taken by an Emirati friend). Off to the left are the living quarters for the maids and drivers.  Most villas are much smaller but still huge by Iowa standards.

*****
Also, a correction:  In my first year I was told that the government pays Dh 2000 per child per month.  That would be $540 per month in welfare.  I recited that fact many times while back home.  I've now been told by multiple sources that it is only Dh 600... which is $163 per month per child.

Don't know how to title this post

Here's what I've been pondering:

"Epic fail"

"Unbelievable"

"I'll take 'Holy Shit' for $100, Alex."

*****

I coordinate the principles of management course. Simply put, I write the common syllabus, make sure everyone has the materials and write the final.  A week ago I completed the final.  Two completely different sets of questions made into four versions.  (All part of my methods to reduce cheating.)  I was feeling soooo good about myself...

Yesterday, I had a conversation that, well... This is what I said to a new colleague:  "So you are telling me you didn't cover 1/3 of the material for this course?"

What I wanted to say scream was, "What the f*#k have you been doing for the past 15 weeks?"

I am sick.  I'm not sick because *I* will get in any serious trouble over this, because I won't.  I am sick because... I don't know.  I take my job seriously?  I think what we do has value and it should be done right?

Here's what I said to the group of my fellow teachers:  "It's good thing we are not in medicine because this would be malpractice."

I have been in the field of education most of my adult life.  I can't think of any similar situation where a person simply didn't teach the course.  There's anger and rage building in me as I write this and I can feel myself losing what few, precious hairs I have left on my head.

Apple at $500

Last Friday Apple closed at $500.00.  Exactly $500.  And, wow, is it cheap.

A little review:  In 2008, I highlighted Apple as a stock to buy at $91.  Just over a year ago I said it was a buy at $381.

Now it is at $500 and it is still super-ridiculously cheap.

And I say that as a guy who is giving up my iPhone for a Galaxy Note 2...

Lotsa millionaires in Iowa

While the US struggles to come out of the deepest recession since the great depression, farmers have been having a pretty great ride.  Corn, soybean and wheat prices have been at (or near) historic highs for several years.  I don't begrudge them... not at all.  I grew up on a farm so my thought is that is about frickin' time that the people who feed the world get a decent pay.

Check out how much the price of farmland per acre has increased IN JUST ONE YEAR:

I'm not sure why this looks so bad on this blog.  Try clicking on the original here.  The bottom line is that most of Iowa saw farmland going up in value 17-35%.

Non-Iowans (and probably many Iowans) would wonder why land in the southern part of the state is worth less than half of the land in the northern part of the state.  Racism.  We just don't like southerners.  The northern half of Iowa was covered by glaciers and the land is more fertile.

A couple of years ago - when land values were half of what they are now - I joked with Dad that he was a millionaire.  In typical Iowa fashion he shrugged it off.  Last spring he contacted us kids to get permission to buy a $3000 used van.

******
Switching hats from "Iowan" to "Economist-wannabe" - Farmland doubling in value in 5 years sounds like a bubble.  It is what happened with housing a decade ago, right?

I don't think this is the same.  First, the farmland in Iowa is being bought by fellow Iowans.  It has not become the speculation buy of those nasty east and west coasters.  Second, the increase in the price of corn and soybeans is here to stay.  Farmers are getting 3x the price of corn they were getting 10 years ago and almost 2x the price for soybeans.  Poor people around the world are getting a little richer.  As they have more money they want meat and fish.  Corn and soybeans feed those cows and fish farms.

I so wish I had a chance to teach economics again.

Update:  I've never liked the ice age theory to explain fertile soil.  It may be part of the reason but as this website explains, the northern parts of Iowa and the Mississippi/Missouri river valleys had grasses with deep roots.  Over time they built a much more rich soil.

Changing world at night

As a geography geek I have always loved the "earth at night" picture.  It is a picture that reflects economic development around the world.  I love looking at the picture and identifying the major cities around the US.  A couple of months ago I saw a shocking new blur of lights in the area of North Dakota.  

In the past week this has become news on several websites. But if I had kept up blogging you could have read about it here first.  

I'm sorry for letting you down.

Member of the club

So does having no friends early in childhood make a person develop a life-long desire to join "clubs"?

I flock like a moth to flame to any company that offers a club. It is why I signed up for the Etihad club and paid $500 for the privilege even though I had never flown Etihad before!

Sometimes my club fetish doesn't work out so well... like spending $200 to join a restaurant club where I didn't really like the restaurant.

But I'd say the Etihad club has paid off.  First, the trip to Nepal was free.  In less than two years I have accumulated enough miles to make 9 round-trip flights to Nepal for free.  So even if I quit the club today I'm ahead.

The best part?  I love the lounges.  Airports suck.  The food is way overpriced and the alcohol is insanely over-priced.  (I paid $13 for a beer at the Dubai airport.)  Being part of the Etihad club means free food/beer/wine.  Plus free wifi.  I don't fly much but that's an incredible perk.

Why 2012 sucked

Since I am major work-avoidance mode I thought I would tick off the reasons why I was happy to have 2012 over.

Highlights:
First, money issues:

• I worked summer school to make $5000 to pay for a new floor in my house.  Just before I left the Emirates I lost/had stolen $3000 of it.  Later in the year I lost another $1000.
• Just before going to Nepal I had $1000 worth of dirhams converted to dollars.  I went from the currency place to pick up a friend and then went to my apartment.  At my apartment I found I only had $700.   I screamed, "Oh my god! I lost $300 in twenty minutes!"  It never showed up.
• I took a $13,000 pay cut.  It was not the fault of me, my boss or my boss' boss.  The U decided all positions like my mine were not eligible for extra pay.  Yay.

Second, friend issues:

• A close friend went crazy and ruined the trip to Canada for me and many others.  He follows that by immediately after pushing me out of a planned trip to Egypt.
• Another friend begs for my old iPhone but doesn't have money to buy it.  I give it to him and he sells it three months later.  (This is one example of many times where I feel like a friend took advantage of me.)

Third, professional issues:

• It's too long and boring to explain but suffice to say that a year ago I had interesting side work to go along with teaching.  In the past year it has pretty much all blown up on me.  My fallback is OK:  I really like teaching so if this is my lot in life that's fine.  But this is one of those years where it is easy to become jaded after one professional setback after another.  

But then again...