Lucky? Yes and No

Today I tried to book a ticket to Nepal.  I got to the last step - putting in the credit card information - and discovered that my credit card had expired.  Given the airline's policies I can't simply use a friend's card.  The bank is open tomorrow and I hope to get this cleared up.

While I'm bummed and thinking, "Only you, Steve, only you..."  I have to say I am feeling lucky:  I was originally supposed to be in Egypt by now.  Even though the region I was going to be in does not have the rioting the news that the internet and cell phones have been cut is scary.  My friend Gwenn is flying there on Monday.  If I were stupid brave I'd join her.  

I'll keep trying for Nepal.

Joyce and me

From late November to late February every year there is a giant flea market in Dubai called Global Village.  A couple dozen countries bring their merchandise to peddle.  Last year I loved this Kenyan salesperson and the sandstone coasters and bowls she sold.  (None of that stuff is in the picture.)  I was happy to see her back again this year.

I found out her name is Joyce.  "That's a name I'll remember," I told her.  "It is my mother's name."  Either she's a really good salesperson or she was genuinely shocked to learn she shares a name with an American mother but she seemed to be touched.  Perhaps a bit of both.

No minimum wage + abundant workers equals?

Pay of $176 per month.

Laborers put in 10 hour days, six days per week.  That's at least 250 hours per month which comes out to 70 cents per hour.

These are not the wages in a tragically poor country.  These are wages paid here in the UAE.

It's makes the shiny city of Dubai less glitzy to think of how much of it was built on slave-like labor.

Vacation travel plans

Note:  I deleted the half-written post that was up earlier today.  Just forget about it... which should be easy enough.

*****
For the past two months I've considered three options for this break:
1.  Egypt
2.  Beirut (Ann & Mike loved it there.)
3.  Back to Nepal

Last week's fall of the Tunisian government has Arab leaders across the spectrum concerned, no place more so than Egypt.  Thousands have flooded the streets in protest and some wonder if this is the start of a revolution.  Last week I told one of my former (Egyptian) students that I planned to go to Luxor, Egypt, during the break.  Yesterday he contacted me and said, "Please don't go."

OK.

Here's today's headline on Beirut, "Business as usual despite riots across Lebanon..."

That leaves Nepal.  I may or may not go.  I have use-it-or-lose-it credit with a budget airline so I very much want to get out of the country even if it is only for a few days.

Tales of cheating - Part II

Imagine a student scoring 40% on a quiz, 40% on the final yet was only one of two to score a perfect 100 on another quiz.  Hmm, hard to believe, isn't it?

The good news is that the guy was only rewarded with a D+.  That disqualifies him from majoring in the college of business.

The bad news is that the quiz he cheated on was one where I had thought I had security down:  Online, random multiple choice questions and they were no allowed to go back once a question was answered.  I've double checked everything I know and I can't figure out how he did it.  I'm meeting with an expert of the online tests next week to get his opinion.

That's assuming I don't go anywhere.  

Tales of cheating

 It's 3:49 AM.  I've had no real sleep in 26 hours.  I just discovered a student who clearly cheated on at least a quiz or two but ended up with only a D+ in the class because of the security measures on the midterm and final outlined in the post below.  

Had I discovered this earlier the D+ would have been an F.  How did I uncover this?  He had the balls to ask me to explain his grade.  When I looked there is no explanation.  Details tomorrow.

Ugh.

End of semester thoughts

In the past 24 hours I have driven to the Dubai airport twice - taking friends there to start their vacation.  I'm a little punchy from too much caffeine and not enough sleep...

*****
This has been my most stressful semester since dealing with the cheating in my first semester... and most of that stress was self-imposed.  If I could learn to adapt to this culture I would have had a great semester.  When things like the internship system don't work I'd get stressed out, yet all I needed to do was say, "There's no problem here.  Everything is fantastic!"  It's what they want to hear and as long as everyone plays along with the charade everyone is happy. 


*****
I received surprisingly little begging this semester and even less response to the grades.  I had a class where 50% of the class received a C/C+.  I know a good chunk of them expected a higher grade and I was waiting for the onslaught of "But, sir!"  Only one student asked for a breakdown of points.  Not a single complaint.  Nice, but almost scary.  


*****
A former student contacted me on FaceBook to say he's angry because a professor sold test questions to a student.  He seemed more upset that someone else had the questions than he was about the cheating.  Rumors like this fly around the university.  I have no idea, of course, if this specific allegation is true and I'm glad the prof he was accusing is not in my department or anyone I know.  I have, however, seen cheating here that blows away anything I have seen anywhere else.  This semester's lesson:  A 2 hour final is plenty of time for a good student to answer an entire final for at least 2 or 3 of his friends.  How?  Some give short tests.  I proctored a test where the final was 35 multiple choice questions.  I noticed that a couple of students hadn't answered a single question 30 minutes into the exam.  Why?  The guy next to them was dutifully taking the test and when done would exchange and answer his questions for him. This isn't staring at your neighbor's paper.  This is writing your name on the test and handing it to your neighbor to answer it for you.

I've asked former students, "How common is this?"  I received a smiling, non-verbal response.  After the pause I asked, "Really?  It's that common?"  I was basically told "1. Some profs know we are doing this and look the other way and, 2.  It is simply the way things are done here."

But it's not the way things are done here for everyone.  In the same class where I am sure there was test swapping going on there was another part of the class where some students sat isolated and struggled through the test all on their own.  I felt bad for them - "If it is a group effort for some it should be a group effort for all."

Also, I wonder why students want to take classes with me.

• My average grades are 2.4 - 2.7, meaning my average student gets a C+.  I'm not giving away grades.
• There's no chance I'm going to switch mid-lecture into Arabic to make it easier for them to understand.
• I give assigned seating on the midterm and final.  I grade them in order of where they sat and it is easy to see patterns and I fail them.  Nobody else gives assigned seating.
• This semester I added:  "Take out your cell phone and put it on the front of the table.  If you touch it during the test you are done."
• A test with 60 multiple choice questions, 4 essays and a case study is too long to do "the swap."  
• During the test I walk around.  I don't sit up front with my head buried.
• And, of course, multiple versions.

In other words, I have made it much harder to cheat and many still want to take my classes.  I'm just not sure why.  Yes, it's nice to get the e-mail like the one below but I'd be seriously delusional if I thought more than 5% of my students were like her.

E-mail of the day

This is not only one of the nicest e-mails I've ever received, it's also one of the best written:

Dear Dr. Steven:

I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your class this year i can't thank you enough for what you have done for us in this course to make our lives easier. I learned a lot about Supply Chain Management and i loved every second of it. Thank you alot for always being patient and in a good mood. I always looked forward to your class and I can honestly say that it was the most enjoyable class I took this Academic year. You have a way of making dry subjects really interesting and out of all the professors I came across here at UAE University, you have help me learn better, not just about the course itself but as well as how to be an excellent student. You have influenced me to be a better student and how to take on the role of a responsible business person when I enter the corporate world. Once again, I want to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart.

Have a great break.

Regards,

I'm glad a student found the supply chain (operations management) class interesting.  She's right; it is boring material.  Trying to make it interesting is work and I am happy someone appreciates that!

*****
No, I do not call myself "Dr. Steven" and this e-mail came after grades were posted.  This wasn't a suck-up for a better grade.

History lesson: Plan to take Canada?

I took a break from grading finals to join Canadian friends for dinner.  Here is a post-dinner conversation.

Canadian #1:  It's your fault we have the French.

Me:  Huh?

Canadian #1:  We were about to kick them out in the 1800's but we needed their numbers to keep the Americans out.

Me:  Really?  In our history books I don't recall us ever planning to invade Canada.

Canadian #2:  Hello?  Manifest destiny.

Me:  OK, I know we used manifest destiny to take the southwest from Mexico but I've never heard of a plan to take anything from Canada.

Canadian #2:  After we burned down your White House in 1812, we were pretty sure you were going to invade us.

Me:  Umm, wasn't it the British that burned down the White House?

Canadian #1:  Canada was Britain back then.  It was Canadians that burned down the White House.

Canadian #2:  But if you guys believe it was the British that's great!  Blame them!

BTW, the French slight was a little tongue-in-cheek; my hosts have part French blood. 

Tales from grading finals

I appreciate that English is not easy and that my students are pretty much all non-native English speakers.  Words are very often written phonetically.  Today I came across a word that baffles me.  It's in an answer to Type A/B personality:

Type A pattern - idintifining examption, edoviteraork thinking about deadline and time construction no relixed in the life

Besides the rest of the word salad, I am trying to figure out "edoviteraork."

Negotiating... win?

I ran the events of the past two weeks by my Dean.  His response:  "I'm glad you declined.  The offer was too low even if you didn't have to develop the course.  If the medical dean complains to me I'll tell him he is too cheap."

That was exactly what I wanted to hear.  If my Dean had said, "Well, it would help relations between the colleges..." I would have felt compelled to do it.

This morning my contact at the medical college responded to my e-mail by writing, "What a pity.  Is there anyone you can recommend who would be willing to teach it?"

I'm going to take the weekend to decide how or even if I will respond.  Any comments or suggestions are appreciated.

Negotiating 101 fail (continued)

Last week I agreed to develop a short course for the College of Medicine and teach it.  I failed in negotiating by not insisting on any money to develop the course.  It will likely take 20 hours to prepare the course on top of teaching it for 3 days.

Today I received a cheery e-mail from the coordinator that he good news:  His Dean has approved everything and they will happily pay me 25% less than what was offered last week!

Here was my polite reply:

Dear Ian –

 Considering the amount of prep work to develop this course and deliver it, I am not willing to do it for Dh 4200.  I was uncomfortable when I left your office that there was no compensation for the development work.  Now that I have an offer of Dh 4200 it makes my life easier; I can comfortably say I decline.

 Feel free to use the outline we worked on.

 Steve

Dh 4200 = $1100

Here's what I wanted to write:

Dear Ian -

Imagine the situation were reversed:  The College of Business has asked a member of the Medical faculty to develop a 2 credit hour course and deliver it for Dh 4200.  Your faculty would consider it an insult.  While I am not claiming my time is as valuable as a medical doctor I am, nonetheless, insulted.

Steve

I'd also have to liked to have included one of my favorite Spellmanisms...

Obama approval ratings

Two new polls show the President's approval ratings over 50% and the highest they've been in over a year.  The change has not come from Democrats or Republicans; they love or hate him about as much as they have in the past.  The change is with independents where his approval is up 15%.

There's no question this is in response to his response to the Tucson shooting.  He was decidedly cool, calm and non-partisan which appeals to independents.

Good for him.  I've never been terribly concerned about his reelection and while two years is eternity +1 in politics, his in pretty good shape.

I wish, however, he hadn't been quite so "presidential."  This incident screams for attention that it will not get:

• Gun control - A person kicked out of college for being mentally disturbed should not be able to get a gun... or at the very least there should be some sort of check.  Also, why should any normal, law-abiding citizen be able to purchase a gun with a rapid-fire clip?
• Treatment of the mentally ill - Many in the US can't pay for treatment for physical illnesses and many more cannot pay for treating mental illness.  

If Obama were the partisan I wish he was he'd hit these two topics head on.  If we can't talk about them now we'll never be able to talk about them.  For too long my party has seen both of these topics as political losers... and they are right:  The majority of the country does not agree with us...  But that's because we haven't tried to argue our side in at least 15 years.

In oh, so many ways Obama has turned into Clinton 2.0.  More, I think, than Hillary would have.

The moon

Geek alert!

I was taking out the trash at 11:30 tonight and I noticed the moon directly overhead.  I have never seen the moon exactly above me.  It was awe-inspiring!

Another amazing  treat (for a weather geek) was seeing some low level clouds moving north while a haze layer that was much higher moving east.  

This is has to be near the top in two categories  1. You had to be there, and 2.  You have to be a weather geek.

Update:  Now the lower level clouds are also moving east.  I've never spent 30 minutes watching the moon.  I'm not sure if it's really that exciting or if I really, really don't want to grade my finals.

Also, of interest - a large villa is almost completely built across the street.  Tonight there are two people sitting in the middle of the driveway watching a large TV at midnight.  Huh?  

Eye on Apple

Stock markets are closed for Martin Luther Kind day.  When they reopen tomorrow Apple will be the most interesting one to follow.  Last week they announced they are going to start selling the iPhone on the nation's number one phone service, Verizon.  Both the iPad and iPhone 4 have exceeded all sales expectations.  The company valued at $320 billion will announce 4th quarter earnings and they are expected to be off-the-charts good.

All signs that the stock is poised to move up, right? 

Today it was announced that Steve Jobs is taking a medical leave of absence.  I can't think of any other CEO who is viewed as the driver of success the way Steve Jobs is at Apple. 

Quick, name the CEO of the largest company in the world?  The largest company is Exxon and its CEO is a guy I've never heard of. 

So what will happen to the stock price?  The Verizon news means the company will sell millions more iPhones... on top of already incredible sales.  Still, I think the Jobs news is going to bring Apple's stock price down. 

If you want to watch on Tuesday here's the link. 

*****
By the way, not to brag but during the financial meltdown I highlighted four stocks that were ridiculously undervalued.  Here were their prices at the time, followed by their prices now and percentage increase:

Apple:   $91.13  now $348.48... up 282%
ebay:     $14.31  now 29.18... up 103%
Google: $327.24 now $624.18 up 90.7%
Coke:    $41.12  now $63.13 up 51%  (Coke pays dividends... meaning the return to an investor is higher than 51% because they got money back from the company.  If I had ever taken a finance class I could calculate the value of those dividends, but suffice to say the Coke increase is better than 51%)

The overall stock market is up 40% since that prediction so picking four winners does not make me a god, but it's still a pretty good record. 

Apple's gain of 282% means if you had invested $1000 just a little over 2 years ago you would have $2820 now.  Ahh, if only I had money.

Weekend remainders: The Cedar Rapids edition

I was very sad last year to see how little progress my home city has made since the 2008 flood.  Denise pointed me to this essay on Huffington Post that explains the sadness very well.

*****
According to the Gazette, Cedar Rapids and Linn county are considering roundabouts.   I may well live in the roundabout capitol of the world... certainly of the Emirates.  They are everywhere in this city.  Here's a picture from one of very few rainy days:

Unlike the tiny roundabouts Iowa has in places like this one in Coralville...

 

... many of the roundabouts here are massive... allowing three lanes of traffic in and out. 

I love roundabouts.  Not "like," or think they are "a good idea."  I love them here.  They can move a tremendous amount of traffic through an intersection without using a stoplight.  On less travelled roads (like the boonies where I live) it is slow and go when you come to an intersection.  I rarely have to stop as I travel through the last three roundabouts before I get home. 

So, yeah, I love them. 

And I hope Iowa doesn't adopt them. 

Roundabouts on busy intersections work if the drivers are pricks aggressive.  Iowans are simply way too polite and have too many people who drive slow.  This is not a slight on my hometown; quite the contrary.  I appreciate driving and not having someone flash lights trying to get me to move over and I can't think of the last time I had to lay on the horn while driving in Iowa. In Iowa I don't have the sense that driving will get me killed like I do here.  But for me here that just adds to the excitement.  It's why I prefer county fair rides to Adventureland.  Knowing the guy with four teeth assembled the ride adds an extra thrill.

*****
I’ve been trying to remember the last time Cedar Rapids was mentioned in a movie.  Was it Titanic?  (The elderly survivor/heroine of the movie was living in Cedar Rapids.) 
But now we have our very own movie titled simply enough “Cedar Rapids.”

I do want to see it but from the preview there’s nothing Cedar Rapidian about this Cedar Rapids movie.

Negotiating 101 fail

Two weeks ago I agreed to develop and teach a new class for the college of medicine.  Today I e-mailed an outline to the director and less than 10 minutes later received a note back calling it "brilliant."  OK, thanks...

I met with him this afternoon and we discussed what I would prepare and teach.  At the end he became decidedly nervous and said, "We, umm, don't really have a budget to pay you to do this.  Maybe there could be some form of a quid pro quo between the college of business and the college of medicine."

"Quid pro quo" does nothing for me.

I replied, "Well, you could run that up to your Dean and have him talk to my Dean.  I have no idea what service your college could provide mine.  I would prefer to be paid."

He hesitated and said, "What is the going rate?"

I said, "Well, I'm paid Dh 400 ($110) per contact hour in training..."

I didn't even have the sentence completed before he interrupted and said, "No problem."  He practically got out his billfold and paid me on the spot.

Hmm.  Me thinks I could have got more.

If I do this only once I'm not making much money, as there are only 13 contact hours.  Still, it's a chance to add "Developed a course for Master's in Public Health and medical continuing education credit" to my resume.  Assuming I do it at least once per semester it will be a nice bonus...  but, yeah, I'm pretty sure I could have bargained for more... if I only had an ounce of negotiating skill.

*****

Ann has a more positive spin:  "He realized the 'quid pro quo' offer was going nowhere and he didn't want to lose you."  That's a nicer way to see it!

January 15

Two years ago today I was on a flight from Dubai to DC to Chicago to CR.  The flight out of Dubai was delayed by a storm.  That's such a rare event here it was funny.

Little did I know that I would be coming home to a house that had been trashed and a beer pong table.

Every day I am checking the flights back.  For $1255 I can get the Abu Dhabi direct to Chicago flight.  It's looking tempting...but to develop this course in February I have no time to go anywhere.

Still... a few days back in the US and I could get my computer replaced...

From my first time leaving North America

Since I'm homesick I thought I'd post this picture.  It was taken at the Moline airport as I flew out for the first time.  Gus was non-plussed... he had no idea I was leaving.  On later trips he has learned what the airport means.  Fortunately, he is at "home" with mom and dad so while he's sad to see me go he's still quite happy.

Not quite the relief I was looking for

I thought, "It's been a stressful week.  I haven't had a massage in this country since May.... A good massage would do wonders..."

I went to my old place (it's part of a country club).  I didn't see any of the people I used to see.  What I did see was a Chinese guy who spoke no English, I used a brochure on the counter to explain the massage I wanted he gave me an absolutely blank stare.

A minute later an Arab walked in, put the equivelant of $150 on the table and walked into a room with a delightfully dressed woman.  (The highest price service on the official menu is $50.)

The guy behind the counter asked me to wait and someone would be ready for me in five minutes.  While waiting I asked about the people I used to know.  As I said their names he continued with the blank stare.  It was clearly a whole new crew.

He asked, "Full service?"  (The only two words of English he spoke in the entire exchange.)  A bit puzzled I pointed to "Swedish massage" on the brochure and again got the blank stare.

A few minutes later a woman with plenty of makeup emerged with an Arab.  My counter guy went over to conference with her and it was clear they had no idea they even had a brochure or what was on it.

It would have been mildly intriguing to find out what comes next.  At the very least I'm sure I'd have heard some interesting things through the paper thin walls.

Instead I pointed at the time and explained that I had to go... Although I could have said, "baking cookies, swamp rat, tobaggon ride" and they would have understood nothing more.

See? Everyone is happy!

I've been trying to think of a way to explain why my internship experience has been horrible.

Imagine you are told to go somewhere.  We won't tell you where, but just go.  We won't tell you what to drive but you'll get in trouble if you drive a car too big or too small.  We won't tell you how fast to go but you'll get in trouble if you go too fast or too slow.  Also, don't deviate from the route that we won't give you.  

In the end - when you get to wherever you go - just say you're happy and everything will be alright.  If you ask any questions we will be very defensive and blame you.  Understood?  If you say anything other than yes, you will be in trouble.  

So, I see you understand and you are happy.  Good!

 Everyone is clearly happy and we have no problems here.

That is what it is like to live/work in this part of the world.

Update:  Often shorter is better:  Here's the way I wrote it for FB:

Feeling better tonight.  One of the frustrating things about living in the middle east is the defensiveness/deflection of problems.  One of the *nice* things about living here is that if you are willing to say, "Problem?  There is no problem! (when there is clearly a problem)" everyone else will smile and agree.

If we all agree there is no problem there is no problem.

I am way too Type A to live here.

Misery loves company

I deleted yesterday's post about being homesick.  I am homesick.  In fact, I haven't felt this level of homesickness since my first semester.  There are two reasons:

1. This semester I volunteered to do work with internships that has been an experience worse than dealing with the cheating in my first semester.
2. While I really enjoy the training I'm doing, it made the internship headaches all the worse.

I have had virtually no contact with colleagues or friends.  I can count on my fingers (on one hand!) the number of social things I've done this semester... so it's not surprising I'm homesick.

Today I was discussing this with a colleague and he said, "I've been here since 2003 and this has been my worst experience at this university."

"THANK YOU!" I exclaimed.  He gave me a bewildered look.  "I thought I was the only one.  Thank you for letting me know this has been hell for you, too!"

*****
So, yes, I am homesick but it's more a feeling of isolation.  It will get better.  If nothing else my grades are due on January 23.  One way or another I'm done in 13 days.

Yippee!
*****
What has me so worked up is easy to understand:  I think internships are great.  I think all colleges should require them.  And I think they should be pass/fail.

How do you determine an "A" internship vs. a "B" internship?  Or lower?  A student this semester was given an internship where she made coffee and made copies.  (In other words, a pretty worthless internship.)  She completed the tasks given her.

How the #$%# am I supposed to give a grade to that? She had a bad assignment but did her duties.  So A for doing duties, but F for not actually doing any college graduate duties?  Yeah, I can't do that.  It's not her fault.

And so it begins...

The end of each semester is highlighted by groveling.  I had my first official grovel today and it's pretty good:

Dear Sir ,

I wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed your class this course.  I know it's not easy to teach us but you managed to keep us all interested and we even had fun.  I wish all my teachers were like you. Thanks a lot! 

I'm really afraid of getting the Academic Warning.

I know that my grades don't help !!!

But I hope you to help me raise my grades.  I don't ask for much, I only want C or more =P

Please help me Sir.

Thank you again!

I have not (and won't) look up this student.  I have no idea if she is seriously failing or currently getting an "A" but scared.

******
Unrelated:
I had a male student argue with me about subtracting .05% of his participation grade because he came late twice.  I repeatedly said, "Nobody - in all the time I've been teaching has missed a grade by .05%... anything close to that and I'll give it to you."

But he felt the need to argue.  I gave in (as Spellman would say, I conceded the battle.)  The war is his final grade... and he'll get his final grade with the extra .05% but the normal 2-3% lee-way in giving a grade?  Yeah, that's gone.  He'll get exactly the grade he earned.  So he got .05% and perhaps lost a better grade.  Welcome to the thinking of a student at my university.

Seriously, is there a more ironic quote?

The congresswoman who was shot read this part of the constitution aloud:

Congresswoman shot

I'd feel more comfortable sharing my thoughts on this if it weren't for my experience raising political issues on this blog in the past.  The fact I think a citizen has the right to tell a cop what he can do with himself from the privacy of his own home AND the fact that I think Wikileaks is more good than bad obviously puts me out of the mainstream.

So I won't comment beyond expressing a wish that money-seeking politicians would avoid placing congressmen in cross-hairs.

Somehow - and I am quite certain of this - the Tea Party will be successful in playing the victim.  As my last two weeks in the US proved (during the ridiculous "Ground Zero Mosque" fake, yet vehement controversy) there are times I am happy to be overseas.

The pause that refreshes

Partly by choice (volunteering for too much) and partly by circumstances (internships from hell) this has been a stressful semester.  Classes are done and it is now dead week.  I'll meet with students about their internships, print finals, do some review sessions, two repeat training sessions.... but compared to the past two months this feels like a week off.

As I mentioned yesterday I volunteered for more training and today I met with the prof in the medical college to find out more about it.  It is basically a "Management 101" course for the Master's in Public Health.  They do their sessions as an intensive two week program.  It would mean a lot of work between now and February but, wow, teach at the Master's level with very bright dedicated students?  I feel like I've died and gone to teacher heaven.  

It is particularly auspicious that the two weeks I'd be teaching happens fall in between my training sessions for university managers.

During this pause I also realized that I haven't posted any pictures from Nepal.  At the end of the trip I lost my camera but I did take a couple of hundred pics on my Canon (big camera).  I hope I have time in the next few days to post a few.    

Here's a post-trip picture:  I bought a shirt in Nepal and after learning in the first trip that all colors bleed badly I soaked this one in hot water... again... again... again...  I did it at least a dozen times and still bled.  I guess this is a shirt I won't be putting in the washer.

Believe me the pictures in Nepal are much more interesting.

Coming down from a caffeinated high

I've always loved caffeine more than life itself, but today was extreme - three Coke Zero's and two cups of coffee... before 8AM.  I continued the caffeine transfusion until the middle of the afternoon.

While the buzz is addicting I also know that I can't write coherent blog posts in this state.  Therefore, with no pretense of being coherent:

• I had a new training session this morning (the excuse for the huge caffeine intake prior to 8AM).  Unexpectedly, a guy from HR came to monitor.  This session is one that I didn't write.  It's material I don't really care for (another reason for the large amount of caffeine) and THIS is the one I get a surprise evaluation?  He sat in the back with a dour expression and at the first break asked, "So why don't you use PowerPoint?"  I explained my reasons and he seemed neither impressed nor dissatisfied... and I never saw him again.
• Perhaps because Mr. HR guy was there one of the participants felt the need to say this is not a good place to work and he has no intention of being here in a year.  A couple of others chimed in with similar comments.  I don't have a good poker face so I'm sure I gave the look of WTF?  But I am completely comfortable in front of a group... and these are all people I've seen at least three times before... so I was able to keep things going while thinking, "What in the hell is going on?" 
• The program Ann teaches in (and most of my friends) was informed that they will be around for at least another year. Yippee! 
• Volunteers anonymous:  When I fail at something - which is how I feel about my internship experience this semester - I overcompensate by trying to prove my worth elsewhere... like guys with a small penis buying gigantic 4x4's.  For the past two months I have volunteered for everything at work.  Small task, big task, paying task, non-paying task.  I even sent my boss an e-mail saying I'd take on an extra class for no pay. Today my boss sent an e-mail asking if anyone would like to work with the college of medicine to create a management-like course.  I replied, "If there are no other takers, I will."  The second after I hit send I thought, "What did I just do???"  Less than a minute later my boss e-mailed all parties with my name.  No backing out now.  I hope this works out for the best, but really?  Right now I don't need something else on my plate.
• Imagine you are giving a presentation and one of your teammates clicks on a video you plan to present.  Unfortunately, he clicks on the wrong video and the audience sees a guy having sex with barnyard animals. That's not exactly what happened to a friend today, but it's close.  While I'm normally good at counseling I was struggling with what to say on this one.

Hmm.  After writing that last segment all I can think of is a guy from college who liked bestiality porn or videos that had 500+ pound women.  I'm getting the shakes and I'm not sure if it is caffeine or the memories.

Storm-maker

I'll start with the boring and odd story:  Abu Dhabi schools told to prepare for rain

Prepare?  A school needs to prepare for rain?  OK, get ready!  You might get wet! 

But now I'm not sure if the first story was a weather forecast or the fact the government plans to MAKE it rain:  "Abu Dhabi scientists create desert rainstorm"

This isn't seeding clouds.  They are spending millions to create fields of negatively charged ions.  Those negatively charged ions create weather.  

Shortly after I returned in September my Dubuque neighbor told me I missed a freaky storm days earlier.  He said, "It came up suddenly and without warning.  The winds were as strong as anything I've felt in Iowa.  The sky changed color very quickly.  There wasn't a lot of rain but I've never seen anything like it."

I am not sure how I feel about this.  

Last day on the men's campus

Next semester I'm scheduled to teach only on the women's campus.  In the fall we will be moving to a new campus.  That makes today my last day of teaching on the old men's campus.  

I've heard the place referred to as Guantanamo.  There are some class rooms that are awful... yet I've come to like the place.

Today I was reviewing for the final.  My last section wouldn't stop talking.  I said, "I'm doing this for you, not me."  They kept talking.  I said, "You are making me happy I am only teaching on the women's campus next semester."  They still didn't stop so I said, "Thanks for a great last class.  I'm done."  I packed up my stuff and walked out.

After a moment of stunned silence I heard a chorus of "But what about the rest of the review?"

Seven brides for seven cousins

A student told me 2011 will be a good year because he will get married in July.  When I asked if he had met the bride he said he remembers her from childhood (pre-pubescent boys and girls are allowed to mingle).  She is his first cousin.

He went to explain that 7 of his cousins will be marrying on that day... and they will all be marrying cousins.

Imagine, generation after generation of cousins within a family marrying each other.  I can't imagine the effect on the gene pool.

The meaning of auspicious

aus·pi·cious/ôˈspiSHəs/Adjective

1. Conducive to success; favorable: "an auspicious moment to hold an election".

2. Giving or being a sign of future success

On the first of January I wrote of "The auspicious start of 2011."  The story was of a day of bad luck... seemingly the opposite of auspicious.  This morning I woke up at 3:30 and knew I wouldn't get back to sleep.  Five hours later only two people show up for my training session and when I tried to turn on my computer I got the blue screen of death.  Several more attempts and it just froze after several minutes.

Auspicious?  You betcha!

First, there's the German guilt I carry.  Bad things happening cheer me up.  When everything goes well I have more anxiety.  When things go bad I am often reminded of how much worse things could be and, well, it makes me happy.

The near panic attack I had on Saturday of all the work I had to do lit a fire under me and its been a productive 48 hours.  Wake up at 3:30?  I spent 3 hours finishing multiple versions of a final.  I sent it out to my colleagues at 6:30 just before I left to do the training.  Imagine how screwed I'd be if my computer crashed and I hadn't sent it out?  In the few minutes of life I was able to e-mail my spreadsheet of grades to myself so they haven't been lost.  Yep, feeling pretty lucky.

When I bought my $600 computer I paid something like $300 for a three year total replacement warranty.  I've only had it for 1.5 years so it should be good for the replacement.  I bought the warranty because I know how hard I am on my computer; 1.5 years is more than I was expecting.

Now I'm questioning if I should make a quick trip home in January to get the computer replaced.  A $1000 plane ticket for a $600 computer may not make a lot of sense, but hey, I could also see a few friends while I'm back.  Returning to freezing Iowa in January while it is 80 degrees and sunny here may not be quite so auspicious.

Light at the end of the tunnel?

I'm hoping it's not a train about to run me over.

Three major tasks this week:

• Write and format a final for the management class.
• Prepare a new training session.
• Figure out a way to get supervisor internship reports from students in 4 different cities (without having to travel to all of them... I simply don't have time.)

Thanks to waking up at 3:30 this morning I have been able to finish the final.  Here's the dilemma I face each semester:  If I volunteer to write the final, photocopy it and distribute to all of the teachers my colleagues are more than willing to say, "Go for it, buddy!"  But can I get any of them to even proofread it advance?  Nooooo!

Why put myself through this?  Because when we've tried to write a final by committee it ends up being more work and more frustrating. 

Also, I'm a control freak.  When I know I am going to be grading 200 finals I don't like answer sheets that go on for four pages.  I also like patterns in my answers that make it fast to grade.  By doing this work I know I'll be saving myself a lot of time in two weeks when I have to grade. 

But sometimes working with Type B people can be frustrating...

Now I have to prepare for a new training session on Wednesday.  (I have a topic, which is a better start than last month)  AND figure out how I'm going to get work evaluations back by Thursday from internship students spread out across four cities.  I'm thinking fax.  If only all work places had a fax machine...

New Year’s at the Burj Khalifa

I think next year I’m going to have to go up to see this:

It gets interesting at the four minute mark and the last few minutes are pretty amazing.

The auspicious start of 2011

I'm trying to be optimistic about the new year, but it didn't start so well. Co-workers were supposed to get some information to me by today and well, I have nothing.  I went to get my hair trimmed and got my head shaved.

I was helping a friend (Gwenn) get her water back on while she was out of town and had to chase the maintenance guys around the city.  "Where are you?" I asked.  "At the mosque" was the reply.

At the mosque?  Really?  That's like saying "I am in a bar in Dubuque.  Come find me."*  

And tonight it hit me:  I have a lot of work to get done by Thursday.  A LOT.  I am soo screwed... and a good part of the work is stuff I brought on myself by volunteering.  I will never learn:  Volunteering is for suckers.  

It's probably a good thing I had my head shaved; I'm likely to lose what little hair I have left.

* For the uninitiated, Dubuque has the second most bars per capita of any city in the world - whether true or not, it is a fact believed by all Dubuquers.

Update:
After sending a gentle reminder to my colleagues I received this from one of them:

Dead steve,

I am sorry I was off and sick the whole  week. I will send the case study tomorrow latest !

"Dead steve."  I'll assume and hope it's a typo.