Things that may you go, "Hmm..."

(The main reason for the blog being dormant for six days will be explained in two days.)

I have had a fantastic week off (from work, not the blog).  Today I was in Abu Dhabi at a mall with an interesting peculiarity:

If you saw a sign for a women's restroom wouldn't you expect the men's room to be nearby?  The nearest one in this case is 160 paces.  In fact, in this mall all of the opposite sex bathrooms are located far from each other.  

This made think of a new catch phrase for the US:  "America!  Where both men and women can relieve themselves within 20 feet of each other."

Or from my time in Ukraine:  "Ukraine!  Where many bathrooms have individual stalls used by both men and women."

Or from Nepal:  "Nepal!  Where a bus stops along the side of the road and people pee and poop on the grass while their busmates try to avert their eyes."  (Since the bus always stops at the same place the risk in stepping in someone's previous deposit is very high.  I came very, very close...)

Oohs and ahhs

Today I made a reference to something on the blog in one of my classes.  As I pulled it up my students saw the picture above.  I said, "Oh, by the way, this is my home."

A spontaneous chorus of "Oohs" and "Ahhs" came out.  This was not sucking up; seeing this much green is simply incomprehensible to a person who grew up here.

Good news comes in 3's

1. I have a ten day break starting now.
2. Today I was paid for the trainings back in October/November.  It's $4000.  While it will all go home to pay bills it is a huge relief.
3. And the guy ahead of me in line to teach summer school made it clear that there's no way he'll do it this summer. I may be crazy but I want to spend six weeks here in 110-120 degree heat.  The extra money is nice but - more importantly - I was pretty miserable with 3 months off last summer.*  Being home for one month with extra money would be a much better summer vacation.

*Yes, I'm aware this comment will make some people want to shoot me.  

Who played who?

(This post is a follow-up on the New York Times article where Secretary of State Clinton assured President Obama that the UAE would commit its air force to the Libya no fly zone.)

As I wrote earlier, Hillary's assurances to Pres. Obama that UAE would send it's airplanes to Libya was the tipping point for the President.  Now the UAE is saying it won't send planes.

That leads to my questions of the day:  Did the UAE play Hillary and convince her they were going to send planes while they never had any intention of doing so?  Did the UAE do it because they knew that a war in Libya would distract the world from what is going on Bahrain?  Both are possible.  

But I wonder... Hillary was meeting with UAE foreign minister in Paris.  I wonder if she said something like this, "President Obama is reluctant. He might be persuaded if I could tell him that an Arab country would participate. He's a basketball fan.  If I can tell him that an Arab country has 'skin in the game' he might just go along."  

And with that Hillary received a wink, "Yes, Madam Secretary, we will support the no-fly zone."  

I'm not one for conspiracies but this sounds scarily plausible. 

A timeline of middle east unrest

It almost seems hard to believe that this has only been going on for about four months.  Here is an interesting interactive timeline of events.

I know I haven't commented on events like I did with the revolution in Egypt.  The reason is that I have come to know many Egyptians and know nobody from Tunisia, Bahrain, Yemen, or Libya.  While Libya is getting all of the attention for obvious reasons the events in Yemen scare me more.  If another attack on the US comes it seems most likely to come from Yemen.

In this part of the world a person's nationality is based on the father.  One of my best student's father is from Yemen and her mother is Emirati.  Even though my student has spent less than a month of her life in Yemen her nationality is Yemeni.  Why is that a big deal?  She is an excellent student and was awarded a trip to the US.  The US denied her the trip because, you guessed it, she's Yemeni.

Magnificent March

I don't set New Year's resolutions because I know I will fail miserably.  I did hope, however, that setting goals to make one month a better month would be successful.  So far the Magnificent March has been extraordinarily ordinary.  

The positives:

• I am losing weight.  I lost 4 pounds over 3 weeks.  That's slower than normal but the diet's been easy.
• The "I will not yell at low wage workers" has also gone very well.  I swear the gods have been tempting me, however:  Last week I came into a room where nothing was working.  I had no way to teach my class.  I called A who told me to call B who told me to call C.  C didn't answer the phone.  When I called B back they referred me A.  When I got back to A I said, "It is now 20 minutes into my class..."  I never got mad or raised my voice or had to down a Valium.  

The negatives:  

• I'm just not a skin-care kind of guy.  I can't get myself to put on moisturizer or "daily ex-foliates".  I guess I'm doomed to look my age.
• Working out?  Well, I worked out twice in the first week.  That's enough, isn't it?

There's been another side effect of the Magnificent March that has made it hard to type.  Tune in at the end of the month and I'll explain.  

(And here's a first:  I'm using the blog to communicate to a friend.  Matt: I have neither your cell or e-mail address.  I read the e-mail you sent last week but somehow I must have deleted it because it is not there.  Why your e-mail address also disappeared is a bigger mystery.  If you hadn't dropped Facebook I wouldn't have to resort to communicating via the blog!  Anyhow, send another e-mail.)

A brand-name compressor

The Coke fridge stopped working and McGyver's crew took it away to be repaired.  This morning he called to say it was the compressor and that it might cost a lot of money to get it fixed.  I asked for a number knowing full well I would pay whatever he said.

The answer?  $200 for compressor A and $300 for compressor B.

I asked for the differences between the two.  Is the more expensive one more powerful?  No.  Is it quieter? No.  Does it use less electricity?  No.  I was out of questions so I finally asked, "Why would anyone go with the $300 compressor if the $200 one is just as good.

McGyver said the $300 has a better name.  "But it isn't any better in your opinion?" I asked.

"No, sir," he replied.

Of course I went with the cheaper one.  For the rest of the day I've been wondering why anyone would choose differently.  "Well, this here Coke machine has a 357 hemi under the hood..."

I guess I *could* brag about the compressor name but first I'd have to buy suspenders and a flannel shirt.

*****
Also, the Coke fridge died on Friday.  McGyvor has been out of the country since October and just returned on Thursday.  This is the second time the fridge was slowing dying but held out just long enough for McGyver to return.

The Mouse That Roared

President Obama was very reluctant to go along with the military action in Libya.  Sec. of State Clinton was pushing him along with leaders from Great Britain and France (go figure).  The President did not like the idea of another western-led war against a Muslim country.  Getting the Arab League to support the effort was a start but not enough to win Obama over.

So what did?  According to this article from the New York Times it was Hillary telling him that the UAE was willing to commit its air force.

(The title of this post is not meant as an insult to the country I live in... I loved the book with this title in Jr. High.)

Tea Party bait

This Arabic translation of Obama's book, The Dreams from My Father, opens with "My fellow Muslims..."

Satisfaction is...

Background first:  In January the college of medicine asked if the college of business had anyone available to teach a class on basic management/leadership styles.  It was similar to the training sessions so I volunteered.  I agreed to teach the class and not get paid for any of the prep.  A week later I was told they were going to pay 25% less than promised and I said, "Thanks, but no thanks."  Fortunately, the dean of my college backed me up, and I walked away.

Today I found out that they broke the course into smaller parts and have been trying to find anyone they can to teach them.  Two months later and they are still looking.

How incredibly stupid.  I was willing to do it all for $2000.  When they cut the pay I declined mostly based on principle:  We agreed on $2000 and they couldn't change that a week later.  Now they've spent two months and undoubtedly many, many hours to find someone else.  I'm sure it has cost them much more than the money it would have taken to have kept me.

... and that has had me smiling all day.

A worker's story

A worker I have come to know will soon be returning home to the Phillipines.  She has had a mall job earning $800 per month.  Given that she works 60 hour weeks that equals $3/hour.  Half of that goes to paying rent.

She earns another $400/month cleaning apartments like mine.

Here's the math:

   $800 in a month from a 60 hour per week job
+ $400 from side jobs in a month
   $1200
- $400 rent
$800 to live on

And from that $800 she has to send money home to support her son and mother.

Her employer cut her pay to $680/month last month and this month cut it down to $550.  Given that the side jobs pay the rent, that means she now earns just $550 to live on and she still has to send money to her mother and son.

It's a sad world.

Spring

In Iowa spring means new life:  April showers that bring flowers that bloom in May.  Although it is not April, May, or June (when this picture was taken) I am definitely feeling nostalgic for a midwest spring.

For the next eight months - all the way until late November - the high temperatures in this city will be above 90.  Think about that:  8 months in a row with every day above 90.  For five of those months every day will be above 100.  And most days of June, July and August will exceed 110.

Once the hot weather settles in there is not much variability.  In Iowa there can be a high of 85 one day and 55 the next.  That doesn't happen here.  It's hot, miserably hot or unbearably hot.  Take your pick.

Oh, how I miss spring in Iowa.

I have not become that which I mock (at least not yet)

All Iowans know of those people who move to a warmer climate and then act insanely cold when they return to Iowa.  I have mocked them.  "Oh, so you lived in Iowa for 30 years but after a couple of years in Florida you forgot what the weather here is like?"  They claim that their bodies got used to the warmer weather and 75 degrees now requires a jacket.

Get real.

This winter in the middle east seemed quite a bit colder than the previous ones.  I have no desire to become that which I mock, so I was very relieved to see that, in fact, this was a colder winter.  On average December and January were 4 degrees colder than the previous years I was here.  (There was a cold snap here in January 2009, but I was back in Iowa.  The 45 degrees here would have seemed balmy compared to the -20 when I stepped off the plane in Iowa.)  Last winter there was no cold spell.

Maybe next January I'll have to come home to get a dose of reality. 

Nah, the weather is simply too fantastic here in January.  

Expect peeking?

As I've said before, I hate it when I don't get it.  Another here.  This picture comes from outside a uni-sex bathroom in Korea:

I don't get it.  Is it saying women should expect creepy guys in the next stall?  Is it saying, "Hey guys, look what you can do!"  If it was saying "Men, you should not do this" wouldn't there be an X over the pic of the guy.

I'm so confused.

Japan's Earthquake

I'm spending the day watching all I can on CNN and Al Jazeera.  The video is incredible.  I feel for my Japanese student.  He's posted on FB that his family is safe given where they live but his girlfriend is in the danger zone and he can't reach her.

I can't imagine his feeling of helplessness.

*****
I am laying low today.  2011 may well be remembered as the year of being sick.  Not much fun.

Americans with passports

Many Americans here seem appalled at how few Americans have a passport.  (Here's a map.)  The points made here are similar to the ones in this article:

1. America is huge
2. Cultural ignorance
3. Fear

I think the list is unfair.  That "America is huge" is valid.  When I've put the question among those born and raised in this part of the world they are much more forgiving.  I heard this comment more than once, "Why would you need a passport when you live in such a large country?  You can go skiing, go to the beach, go to big cities... you have it all."

If I made the list I would keep number one but change 2 & 3.

1. America is huge
2. Cost
3. Time

A family of four can fork out thousands on a week trip to Disney World.  A trip to London?  Twice that.  Also Americans don't get a month of vacation.  To travel here takes two days and then several days to get over the jet lag.  Making a week trip would be a waste with most of it eaten by travel and a jet lag hangover.

Now, having said all of that, I *do* think a trip here would be good for our Muslim-bashing Americans.  The fact that life in the middle east in no way matches their perception of life in the middle east might, just might, get them to open their eyes.  And, really, they should be delighted:  Everywhere you go here they serve tea.

A day in the life of me

I went to make popcorn but realized I was out of oil.

I went to the store.  I meandered around.

I bought a turkey and a magazine.

As I was putting the turkey in the fridge I thought, "I'm hungry for popcorn."

Back to the store I went.

The not so Magnificent March?

Last week I outlined goals to make this a Magnificent March.  

First the good news:  I weighed in at 210, meaning I lost 3 pounds. That's a good start to the diet.  The first week of a low carb diet is not fun, and this week was no exception.

And I never once yelled at anyone.

The bad news:  I only worked out twice and skin care idea?  Did it once.  I can't stand creams/lotions etc.  I will try to do better this week.

The cold I got while in Sri Lanka moved to my chest and has been planted there for weeks.  I feel like I have tight bands across the top of my chest.  I woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat.  It seems entirely unfair to have cold #2 coming when cold #1 hasn't ended.

Teacher Appreciation Day

Today the women in the business college had a faculty appreciation day. 

A local sweets shop donated lots of candies, cakes and chocolates.  At the top of the picture is a chocolate fountain.

It was a very nice event.  On the low carb diet I couldn't try any of the food, but I was able to appreciate the appreciation.

During the event a student said, "Sir, please don't count me absent from class today.  I was here setting things up."  

I said, "So you missed my class so you could show me how much you appreciate my class?"

The irony flew over her head.

Weekend remainders

A guy used an android app on his phone to prove he couldn’t have been going as fast as the officer claimed he was.  The cop claimed he was going 15 M.P.H. over the speed limit when, in fact, he had never exceeded the speed limit.  In court, the cop admitted he had never calibrated his radar.  So I wonder how many other people wrongfully received tickets. 

A couple of weeks ago it was reported that a married-with-children congressman had placed a personal ad of himself shirtless.  He abruptly resigned.  Many at the time scratched their heads because it just didn’t seem like that big of a deal.  Well, then came the news that was also soliciting a cross-dressing prostitute.  Oops.

Ever heard of the term "mope"?  Neither had I.  I'll save you clicking on the link:  It is a guy willing to do porn for as little as $50 and some food.  Giving him a place to crash is a real payday(money shot?).  If you're interested in the dark underbelly of porn click here.

A teacher blogged (negatively) about her students and she lost her job.  Not surprisingly, I have mixed feelings about this.

Friday's jobs numbers were good and maybe even better than they appear.

Rush Limbaugh has insinuated that Michelle Obama is fat.

And finally, Cedar Rapids has its own rap.

I’m not sure what to think of it except that I doubt the Chamber of Commerce will be using it in their promotions.

The mangroves

This morning I drove to Um Al Quwain - one the seven emirates of the United Arab Emirates that I had never been to before - and joined a group that went out in a large pontoon boat.  The boat hooked up to a buoy and we spent several hours floating in the Persian Gulf.

This is a mangrove:

Here's the same picture, cropped:

Basically, they are trees in salt water.

 Like this pair, I piloted a kayak out to them.  I was unwilling to risk the iPhone getting wet so I didn't take it with me to get pictures.  The trees are in very shallow water - maybe a foot deep - and surrounding by thousands of shoots maybe six inches apart.  I don't know if they will grow into trees someday if they are simply part of the root structure.  Anyhow, I'm not a botanist but it was more interesting than expected.

 The double decker pontoon boat afforded great views on the trip and while anchored.

On the trip we came across lots of birds and flamingos.  The flamingos were too far away for a  picture with iPhone.  I had brought a better camera but didn't bring the battery I had put the charger last night.  Oops.

Anyhow, it was an experience.  I am glad I did it.  I might do it again.  I might even have had fun today... if... if it weren't so brutally cold.  Most passengers were, like me, wearing little more than a swimsuit and t-shirt.  None of us expected a cold, forceful wind.  There was no sheltered area on the boat.  The only time I was warm all day was when I was in the kayak.

Earlier this week it hit 90 and all of us were thinking, "Uh-oh, spring is here."  Thursday a cold front passed through and right now you'd think it was mid-January.  Given that the heat the coming back very soon and it will remain relentlessly hot until November I'm OK with freezing my butt off today.

Good news

The number of people requesting unemployment for the first time is the lowest it has been in 2.5 years... before the complete meltdown in the fall of 2008.  That is certainly good news.  Whether that actually means an increase in jobs will be seen in tomorrow's unemployment report.

*****

On the personal front, today my boss saw me and said, "Have you looked at your class sizes compared to Dr. ____."  I replied I had.  He laughed and said, "He must have scared them off in the first week and they all jumped to your sections."  

I would appreciate a permanent fix but it was good that my boss realized what was happening without me bringing it to his attention.  He did say I'll have a course release (teach one less class in the fall).  That's good mews.

*****

Tomorrow I am headed to Um Al Qwainn.  I am not exactly sure what I signed up for, but I think it includes a boat trip into the mangrove marshes.  What are "mangrove marshes"?  I'm not sure, but I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Give good teachers larger classes and pay them more

That's an idea floated here and I don't think it is a terrible idea.

I teach three sections of two classes - an introductory Management class and a Supply Chain management class.  Here are the enrollments this semester:

Management:
My sections have 45, 43, and 47 students for an average 45 students.
The other sections have: 43, 23, and 27 students for an average of 31 students.

Supply Chain:
My sections have:  34, 35, and 36 students for an average of 35 students.
The other sections have 22, 16, and 11 for an average of 16 students.

Either I should be paid more or I should start being a bad teacher and watch my sections shrink.

Every semester there is a huge gap between the number of students in my sections and the other sections.  It was noticed a year ago and rather than investigate what I do differently in the classroom I was checked to see if I'm too generous on grades.  I'm not.  I don't need any acknowledgement of being a good teacher, but if I'm going to be teaching classes that are 50% to 100% larger than my colleagues I deserve a raise!

A Magnificent March

I don't really do New Year's Resolutions or giving up something for Lent.  I tried the Lent trick in 7th grade when I gave up roller-skating to get out of doing it in gym class but Mr. Van Etten wasn't buying it.

I have decided, however, to make this a Magnificent March.  Here's the plan:

• Low carb diet
• Do a skin car regimin (mosturizing, ex-foliating... the stuff most guys would never do... but I'm going to hope I can put up with it for a month)
• Work out at least 3x a week
• Do whatever it takes to get better sleep
• No yelling at lowly paid service workers

The last point probably deserves an explanation.  First, I get angry quickly in the face of stupidity.  Customer service here can be so frustratingly bad that it is quite a good thing that guns are not legal.  Sometimes it is not the worker's fault; the system is so bureaucratic the driver's license stations in the US look efficient.  Other times the workers act like they simply do not care... and for what they are getting paid I understand.

Today is the sixth day my Sunday-Tuesday classes have met.  Five out of six days I have come to a room with a non-working projector.  (Remember, there are no boards in these rooms.  With no working projector it is just me trying to communicate to non-native English speakers.)  The lowly paid tech must hate it when he sees my number ringing him... and, on occasion over the past three weeks I have yelled at him.  Today, and hopefully for the rest of the month, I was all peaches and cream.  The fix didn't come any faster than normal, but it didn't take any longer.  Most importantly, my blood pressure remained lower.

I weighed in this morning at 213.  That's 12 pounds lower than when I started last year.  And I did do work out right after work.

At the moment I'm staring at the bottle of moisturizing cream on table and thinking, "Really?"