True Blue Iowan

Canada bound!

2012-02-02T10:09:00.001-06:00

Today we received funding to take students to the Model United Nations program in Vancouver Canada in March. I am excited to be coming back to the western hemisphere! Yippee!

A bit hard to explain, but...

2012-02-01T11:40:00.001-06:00

...tonight I ran over my work laptop with my car.

First thought: Thank God I backed up my grade spreadsheet today.
Second thought: How will I explain this to the IT guy?

Unbelievably, it is not broken. Apparently my Iowa Hawkeye laptop bag has super protecting powers.

Only Serious Lego Players need to read this post

2012-02-01T11:38:00.003-06:00

I'm cross posting from something I put on FB tonight:

This week I met a guy (an American, no less) whose resume includes "Master Trainer for Serious Lego Players." I have no idea what was said for the rest of the meeting because I was fixated on the thought, "How does one get a certification like that and what does it really mean?"

This meeting was for my new job and the guy was trying to sell me his services. In the course of the meeting he brilliantly displayed his credentials, which included "Chief Innovation Officer" for three companies in addition to his Master Training Lego title. The guy really wanted to establish ~~street~~ corporate cred.

I really enjoy training and recently volunteered for a new slew of workshops. The problem is that I don't like many people I've met in the profession. I feel bile rising in my throat and I find myself restrained from saying what I am thinking, "Wow! You are a quite large piece of excrement!"

In high school I read every self-help book I could get my hands on (I know, what a shocker!). Years later I concluded that they made me a better person by realizing that a large part of them in BS. I guess I'm drawn to the profession because I believe training (like teaching) can be helpful... unfortunately, in both professions there are too many people who would be better suited selling used cars.

Ordinary People

2012-01-31T14:07:00.000-06:00

Tonight I found myself hugging/holding a guy while he cried inconsolably. I reveal this on a public blog with no disrespect to his privacy; he and I are acquaintances so by altering his name there is no risk of publicly identifying him.

"Mohammed" has never seen the movie Ordinary People but he is living it: Older, beloved brother died in a bad accident. One parent letting it be known they wished it had been him instead. The other parent caring but distant. I guess I landed the counselor role in this real life movie.

What struck me as he was talking - and he had a lot to talk about - was that what he needed most was someone to listen.

I left the night feeling oddly good because I know he felt better just to get a lot off his chest. I also felt incredibly grateful that I have many really valuable friends I know I can turn to when life hands me lemons.

This blows

2012-01-28T01:49:00.001-06:00

Today I found myself explaining the difference between, "Blow me off" and "Blow me."

After I tried to explain it I found I really can't explain why "Blow me off" means what it does.

I don't get it

2012-01-26T14:19:00.000-06:00

Facebook is filled (for friends of my age) with posts claiming the past was sooo much better than the present. "We are the last generation to play out a friend's house" is one of the claims.

While I love 80's music, I guess I view the 70's and 80's differently than the nostalgia-bots. It was the age where people smoked everywhere. Tab collars and wide ties for guys and women wearing shoulder pads were cool. We were the first "me" generation before reality TV made being "me" something anyone else would want to watch.

My generation is not a generation of heroes. We are the first generation to go horribly in debt going to college. That's not our fault; it's what our guidance counselors told us to do.

I am happy to be of the era I am from. I would have accomplished nothing in college if I had a smartphone and access to FB during class.

Each generation has this insatiable need to feel morally superior to those younger than them - a feeling I can't understand or identify with. I believe the children are our future... Oh, sorry, Whitney Houston interrupted me while I was writing this...

Busted

2012-01-26T12:00:00.000-06:00

This is the week before finals. Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and I work at a place that has finals that run into February.

I gave my classes a make-up online homework/quiz to replace a lower quiz score earlier in the semester. The first class of guys took it at 12:30. The average score was 90/100.

For my 3:30 class I changed the numbers on five questions. The answers listed were the same but the correct answer changed. Almost half of the class missed those questions.

One of the guys was shocked at his score and said, "But teacher, I know I had the right answers!" I pulled up his quiz and said, "Yes, Mohammed, you had the right answers for the quiz I gave the 12:30 class."

He literally ran out of the room.

Apple earnings report

2012-01-24T21:39:00.003-06:00

I awoke at 3AM and thought, "Apple must have released it's 4th quarter results by now!" (Doesn't the performance of Apple wake everyone up in the middle of the night?)

(The rest of this post goes quite a bit deeper into the weeds than I expected. Not worth reading if you are not interested in stocks.)

The numbers were an eye-opener:

Sales of $46 billion from which they made a profit of $13 billion.
They are sitting on $96.7 billion in cash.
In three months they sold 37 million iPhones - blowing away all estimates. They also sold more than 15 million iPads and 5 million Macs.

The real story is not the sales, it's the profit. Apple squeezes every dime out of its Chinese suppliers and is able to charge its customers a premium for its products. A net profit of $13 billion on $46 billion in sales is simply unbelievable. That's an astounding 28% net profit margin. Want some comparisons?
Exxon-Mobil in the last quarter had $10.3 billion in profit on $120 billion in revenue (sales): 8.6%
Wal-Mart a paltry $3.3 billion in profit on $110 billion in revenue: 3%

Google had almost as high of a net profit margin and Microsoft did better than Apple:
Google had $2.7 billion in profit on 10.6 billion in revenue - a 25.4% net profit margin.
Microsoft does even better on a percent comparison: 20.8 billion in revenue yielding $6.6 billion in profit - Their net profit is 31.7% of revenue.

The difference: Apple generates most of its profits from selling physical items - phones, tablets, and computers. Most of those companies make a very small profit margin.

HP - in their best quarter in the last year (spring) - had a 7.3% net profit margin and only .7% in the most recent quarter.
Dell's net profit margin: 5.8%

So Apple's numbers are nothing short of astounding. It will be interesting to watch the stock price.

Pug porn

2012-01-23T03:51:00.001-06:00

Sent to me by a friend...

I love the "innocent" pug look...

Newt!

2012-01-22T14:22:00.003-06:00

My wonderful niece Gina had this shirt made and sent to me. By the time of the Iowa caucuses Newt had fallen so far that the politically correct move was to support Santorum... but I felt awful (like I was cheating on my first love). Fortunately, Newt knows a thing or two or three about infidelity so I know he'll forgive me.

The most amazing stat for me that is that Newt's supporters are largely supporting him because they believe he's the most electable.

I thought, "Oh, come on! They can't be that deluded..."

So... I may not be posting regularly anymore but I still do a lot for ~~eight~~ three blog readers. I have spent the past two hours reading Hannity Forums. While some Romney supporters struggle to show respect for their guy it is clear the far-right has become smitten... and not with Mitten. They love the bold audacity of the Newt.

Newt! Newt! Newt! Long live the Newt!

Is this heaven?

2012-01-14T14:26:00.000-06:00

No.

And it is not Iowa, either.

This shot looks extraordinarily similar to the Amana Colonies. It is from a region of Germany where my great-great grandfather was born. My new German friend Lukas is doing the research and he found this website with plenty of pictures of the region. Alter the architecture of the buildings and you'd think these pictures were from Iowa. It's no wonder my ancestors chose to settle in Eastern Iowa - it was home.

Hotel in Doha

2012-01-14T02:28:00.001-06:00

I'd like to post a picture of how small my hotel room is in Doha but it's too small to take a picture that will do it justice. The check-in experience is part of why my blood pressure has risen since moving to the middle east:

Steve: I would like to check-in.
Clerk: Mr. Kranz it says you booked a room for two people for two nights.
Steve: That must be the default for Expedia. There will only be one person.

After getting my information:
Clerk: Now, Mr. Kranz, can you give me the information about the second guest?

I asked for a room as high as possible and I got a room on the first floor...

*****
Qatar is - per capita - one of the richest countries in the world. Given some of the sky scrapers you can see it but seeing the neighborhoods around the city and the many poor streets it doesn't strike me as a super-rich country. I hope I can post a few pictures after I return to the Emirates tonight.

Doha bound

2012-01-11T13:42:00.001-06:00

In six hours I am on my way to Qatar for the weekend. I'm going because: 1. My friend and former student Abood is doing his internship so I will visit his workplace. 2. I have never been to Doha and this is as good of an excuse as I need.

I'll only be there for 3 days and 2 nights. Given that the entire country is the size of six typical Iowa counties that should be enough time!

I haven't packed anything and I only made my hotel reservation 10 minutes ago. I guess the pre-flight anxiety I'm used to having has been replaced laziness.

2012-01-11T13:35:00.001-06:00

Massacre

2012-01-10T23:18:00.001-06:00

Like me, I'll bet you've never felt sorry for a honeybee... that is until you watch this.

New Year's resolutions

2012-01-08T10:34:00.001-06:00

I'm not big on New Year's resolutions because the inevitable failure (year after year) is too much to bear. Nevertheless, I made a promise to improve in 2012: No more spending money on people for whom I have no chance of having sex.

And since that eliminates the population of the planet I should be saving a lot of money in 2012.

Five hour day

2012-01-06T08:02:00.002-06:00

I'm back in the UAE... it was not a great flight in that my cold was worse while in the air. Every time I tried to sleep my head would start spinning and I'd feel like I was going to throw up. So it was my first international flight without taking ambien and I stayed awake for almost all of it.

The plane was flying east. Going east meant the time for daylight was just under five hours. It's kind of depressing to get on a plane at 8PM Iowa time and get off of it at 7PM UAE time the next day. It's literally losing a day.

Anyhow, none of the Coke glasses broke so it was a good trip...

Christmas 2011 trip over...

2012-01-04T17:40:00.000-06:00

Highlights:

Unbelievably nice weather with many days over 40. It made me try to forget horrible Iowa winters of the past.
A really nice Christmas with my family. That's not a given in my family so it was a nice surprise.
Ten days of seeing friends for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Some days it was two lunches. I was on course for gaining 20 pounds on this trip until...
A nasty cold took me out with a week left in the trip. I cancelled on several friends and just felt miserable. For a couple of days I had lost my voice to the point of not being able to talk on the phone.
I proudly caucused for Santorum; anything to promote crazy in a party that doesn't need much help.

I'm now in the O'hare business class lounge - although, unfortunately, I didn't get the bump up to business class. The free beer and chips before the flight will have to make up for it.

You can track the flight here:
http://flightaware.com/live/flight/ETD150/history/20120105/0155Z/KORD/OMAA

If all goes well I'll be back in my apartment in 18 hours. OK... that just depressed me. Yeesh, sometimes I wonder why I chose to live so far away.

Oh, that's right, it was better than selling AFLAC.

Your permission to punch me - hard

2011-12-17T03:20:00.000-06:00

I lived in Iowa for 40 years before moving to the middle east. Over the years I learned that there's nothing worse than an Iowan who moves to a warmer climate coming back to Iowa in winter. Invariably they'll say, "Oh, it is sooo cold. How does anyone live here?"

It's like saying, "I was good enough to get out, what's wrong with you?" To me these people put the "douche" in the term douchebag. I don't wanna be that guy.

If I say anything like that please feel free to slug me.

I'm back!

2011-12-17T02:38:00.000-06:00

It's 2AM Saturday morning. I'm still awake - which may or may not be a good sign on the getting over jet lag issue. At this point Ann is on the same flight right now over Iran.

It was not a great trip but at one point I yelled "Wow!" in a men's room.

I'll try to have the brain cells to explain tomorrow.

2011 Christmas flight home

2011-12-15T12:08:00.000-06:00

For those who would like to track my 14-15 hour flight on Friday:

http://flightaware.com/live/flight/ETD151/history/20111216/0625Z/OMAA/KORD

My flight will arrive in Chicago between 3-4PM on Friday. Right now I am on a flight to CR that will arrive at 10:45 PM. If I'm lucky I will get through customs and catch an earlier flight. I haven't even lined up anyone to pick me up at the airport because I really hope I can make an earlier flight.

T-shirt wanted

2011-12-15T10:16:00.000-06:00

I wonder how difficult it would be to have this made:

Democrats

(for Obama)

for Newt

Quote of the day - II

2011-12-14T06:22:00.000-06:00

A student whose cousin lives in the US said, "I want to marry my cousin to get the passport."

Quote of the day

2011-12-14T06:01:00.000-06:00

In class I said to a student, "When I was your age I was actually a runner."

A student sitting behind her blurted out, "NO WAY!|

I have been laughing ever since. The student stopped by after class to apologize for offending me and I said, "Not at all! It's really funny..."

Newt

2011-12-12T07:32:00.000-06:00

Democratic congressman Barney Frank said,

"I did not think I had lived a good enough life to be rewarded by Newt Gingrich being the Republican nominee."

Newt's leading in most national polls and leading in Iowa, which goes first on January 3. He's a close second in New Hampshire and ahead in South Carolina. If he were to win all three he'd pretty much be unstoppable.

How did the guy Democrats most want to be the Republican nominee become the front-runner? The answer seems to be Reagan. In the late 1970's Democrats were rooting for Reagan because they thought he'd be the easiest to beat. We all know how that turned out.

I don't think Newt is Reagan 2.0 but apparently many Republicans think the "big ideas" guy is the right guy to be their nominee. Today my boss' boss (a Republican) indicated he'd be fine with Newt as the nominee. Poor Mitt couldn't seal the deal.

In 2008 some Republicans lived to regret rooting for the black whose name rhymes with "Osama." Maybe my side will end up eating crow but for now I'm agreeing with Barney. I will happily caucus for Newt on January 3 because I believe he's the best opponent for Obama.

I think it's the right thing to do but please, don't ask me to bet $10,000 on it.

Christmas Party 2011

2011-12-08T16:01:00.000-06:00

At 1:30 AM the guests from Christmas Party 2011 have left. It was a great party in that anytime you can get 30+ people to show up and bring great food you have had a good night.

Ann helped with most of the prep work:

I don't think I'm the only American to have a fascination with the Greeks. To have Greek friends at my party bringing an awesome quiche-like dish?

OK, my photo doesn't do this anything close to justice. The couple here are standing in front of the there quiche-like dish and the home-made Greek bread to go with it. "Phenomenal" is all I can say.

Canadian friends brought mulled wine and intricate Christmas cookies.

This is my favorite picture of the night. My Singaporean neighbors dressed their daughter in a winter coat to walk her the 60 feet from my apartment to their apartment.

As I made fun of them my friend said, "She's from Singapore. Her blood is not used to this cold." The temperature was 65.

******
I love to throw a party. I've said before that I much prefer to throw a party than to go to one. The Christmas Party 2011 was a notable party: Over the course of the evening 30+ came, so in total numbers it was a success. I am amazed at the people who went out of their way to say to me, "I will be there" and then didn't show. I've never had so many nationalities at one party. I think I may have topped 20 nationalities. That's a huge plus in my book, but when the Spanish speaking South Americans started greeting/arguing with the Greek/Italian guests? Yeesh, I felt bad for my neighbors.

I don't have many gifts. Teaching is one. Planning and throwing a party is another.

I'm happy that I have to come to know my gifts and limitations.

And there goes my run for public office...

2011-12-06T11:38:00.000-06:00

...but it was so much fun it was worth it.

By the numbers

2011-12-06T11:17:00.000-06:00

I woke up this morning at 4AM with the realization that it is 10 days and counting until I am back in the US.

Later I checked the weather in Cedar Rapids: -11 <-- That was the temp my iPhone showed for Cedar Rapids. The NWS says the overnight low was 23. Huh?

Also the 30 day temperature forecast is for a normal December:

I am happy the -11 was a mistake. I confess I was thinking, "Do I love my friends and family that much?"

I'm sure that will earn me a warm welcome home.

Matt, are you listening?

2011-12-03T13:51:00.003-06:00

I don't think my confederate friend reads the blog anymore but in case he is, I wish he could hear me saying, "Newt! Newt! Newt!" I am chanting it many times per day every day.

Is it a Diet Coke?

2011-12-03T13:47:00.001-06:00

I don't have children because I am too afraid I'd have a moron as an offspring. Perhaps that's admitting too much about my side of the gene pool or my possible parenting abilities, but I just had to get that out there...

Coke created this really cool can for holidays which they have promptly pulled because people thought it was a Diet Coke can.

Seriously? If you can't tell the taste difference between Coke and Diet Coke your problems are deeper than the can you are holding.

I really want one of these cans. Please, if you are one of the four blog readers I have left get me one of these!

Paradise

2011-12-01T04:06:00.000-06:00

Mohamed was a student of mine in 2009 and he became a close friend over the past couple of years. Creating a cross-culture/religion friendship is not easy and we definitely hit many bumps along the road. For most of the time, however, our friendship was good for each other and we certainly have similar personalities.

I bought him this t-shirt:

Little did I realize how ironic the gift would be.

While our friendship was enduring Mohamed was always insecure. He'd be jealous of any friend I spent any time with and that even followed me to the US. Last week I broke down as he again accused me of liking another friend more. I thought my breakdown would be the end of it; he'd understand that he has no reason to be insecure. Unfortunately, that only lasted until my second day back here.

Now I realize that we are simply incompatible as friends. I thought things would get better when he recently started a romantic relationship but alas, it only became worse.

I am not blameless; I am sure I did things to lead to the deterioration of our friendship. I certainly had many moments of anger. As the anger has now subsided I now feel the loss of a good friend.

*****

Last week Mohamed posted this video on youtube:

I watched it and didn't understand. I posted on his wall:

You know I like Coldplay... but one of the reasons I stopped watching music videos is that I often don't get it... I have no idea what this is supposed to mean!

He replied:

I think it means that when you are around the people you like or your friends then it is like Paradise so he is searching for his friends to find Paradise :)

I wish Mohamed the best; I hope he finds his elephants... I hope he finds Paradise.

My day in the kandura, 2011 edition

2011-11-30T10:45:00.001-06:00

December 2 is National Day, the equivalent of July 4 in the US. In honor of the holiday I wear a kandura (robe). Last year I had a white kandura and I wore it again for cultural night in the post below. This year I decided to have one made with color. I joke with students, "Don't you ever get bored wearing white every day? I can't imagine opening my closet door and seeing nothing but white kandura's staring back at me." I like a little variety in my closet. Anyhow...

I had a tailor make a blue one with subtle stripes.

Dr. Omar grew up in the Emirates and received his Ph.D. in the US. He started teaching at UAEU last year and his office is next to mine. I don't get to see much of him but we've become friends. I love the US and enjoy teaching and living in the Emirates. Omar loves the UAE and really enjoys his time in the US. He and his wife return each summer to Arkansas. (I raised my eyebrows the first time he said it, too. He explained that he's from the one liberal town in Arkansas. That makes sense. Living in Iowa City is a world different than western Iowa.)

Omar and I are wearing the egal (black ropes) because it is appropriate for our position as teachers. The shebab (young males) only wear them when they have something formal to dress up for.

Khaled is one of my favorite students. Here is demonstrating the nose greeting. While I found it unnerving last year I got over it quickly this year. I still can't bring myself to make the "smooch" sound as I touch the other guy's nose. Obviously I can't say it is "too gay." I'd have to say it strikes me as too intimate as a way to greet a ~~casual friend~~ almost anyone.

I have been teaching more years than I care to remember but this is the first time I have had a German exchange student. My ancestors are from Germany and I have long believed my family has very, very German attributes - for good and bad. It is fantastic to be able to talk at length with a pure-bred born and raised German to learn whether my German stereotypes are accurate. The answer? Yes, but that's a story for a different post.

Lukas also had a kandura made and right after this picture was taken he said, "I don't know what my grandmother would do if she saw this picture." I laughed because I know my grandmother would have started with "Oh, pshaw" and gone downhill from there.

Rashed is a student from Afghanistan.

Afghanistan... as in, a year ago he was living 50 miles north of Kabul. One of the reasons I don't get bored in my job is that I love, love, love the chance to talk to people whose life experience is simply fascinating. For the record, he's more optimistic for Afghanistan than most American pundits seem to be and he had some solid, yet anecdotal, evidence to back it up.

We are wearing scarfs that celebrate the 40th National Day and have pictures of the rulers of the country. Patriotism leads to commercialism here. (I don't mean that as a pejorative. The fact people are willing to spend lots of money to show their spirit for National Day is something I like. It's nationalism without any of the bitterness of the Tea Party.)

OH! There are few pictures that have disappointed me more than this one. This is my favorite class in my four years of teaching in the Emirates. A few of the guys bought a Coke, Coke Zero and Coke Light (Diet Coke) for the class. Unfortunately, there was no good place to take the picture at this time of day. My lack of foresight on this really bothers me. I'd like to do a do-over and probably will; this is a class I want to remember.

It's ten o'clock, do you know where your central bank is?

2011-11-30T06:49:00.001-06:00

On Wednesday, November 23, something potentially catastrophic happened: Germany, considered the rock-solid safest place in Europe, tried to sell bonds and there were not enough buyers. In other words, the world market was afraid to buy German debt.

I told Ann, "This is either the first sign of Armageddon or something really big is going to happen very soon."

Exactly a week later we got something big: The US Federal Reserve (our central bank) is leading a joint effort with Canada, Japan, Britain, Switzerland and the European Central Bank to push "dollar liquidity."

What does that mean? The US is basically lending billions (trillions?) of dollars to the other central banks. The world operates on the dollar - something I knew but didn't quite realize how true it was until I moved here. Those central banks will lend them to their banks. Those banks will, hopefully, start lending again. The world's monetary system is on life support right now and this is a very good, albeit short-term medicine.

I can't wait to see how this plays out for the public in the US. I see this as nothing short of "America comes to the rescue of the world" but it can be easily played by the right wing as "Obama is bailing out the rest of the world." Never mind that the Federal Reserve is not part of the Obama administration.

I don't write about the economy much because I fear there are so many ways things can get worse that it is simply too depressing. And, really? If the euro collapses all bets are off. Today's action does nothing to keep the patient alive beyond a few months. Unfortunately, in this case the patient is the world economy. Austan Goolsbee (the best economist Obama appointed when elected but then ignored) depressingly sees no positive outcome to the euro crisis.

Cultural night

2011-11-29T16:00:00.001-06:00

Friday, December 2, is National Day - The 40th anniversary of the founding of the UAE. (Maybe someday I'll get over living in a country that is younger than me, but I'm not there yet.)

In the run-up to National Day the college hosted a cultural night that I attended.

I am on the left (in case you couldn't recognize me). Here I am meeting with students who are part of the volunteer organization with a mission to improve things in the UAE.

How much do Emiratis get into National Day? They even have headscarfs made for the occasion.

UAEU has students from many countries. These are Omani students heading to the center square to dance. Notice that four in the front row are walking on gravel with no shoes.

Tougher feet than mine.

The Omanis drug me out to the dance ~~floor~~ sandlot. It was fun, but I suck so bad at dancing that they graciously allowed me to quit early.

You don't have to be gay to appreciate the traditional greeting among men of the same tribe. As a member of a relatively cold German family, I find it refreshing to see this level of warmth between distant family members.

Boycott Butterball for halal turkeys?

2011-11-23T09:25:00.000-06:00

The rightwingers in the US are stunning in their ability to raise ~~Fox~~ faux outrage. The latest? Halal turkeys.

Halal is the Islamic term for "religiously acceptable." As Jews should eat kosher foods, Muslims should eat halal foods. For turkeys halal specifically refers to the way the animal is slaughtered.

From Wikipedia: "This method of slaughtering animals consists of using a well sharpened knife to make a swift, deep incision that cuts the front of the throat, carotid artery, wind pipe and jugular veins but leaves the spinal cord intact."

In other words, kill the animal quickly and humanely without decapitating.

How does the neo-con right see this?

"In a little-known strike against freedom, yet again, we being forced into consuming meat slaughtered by means of a a torturous method: Islamic slaughter."

There's stupid and then there's stoooopid...

I'm happy we'll be serving Butterballs on Thanksgiving.

Bill Flanagan

2011-11-22T13:03:00.000-06:00

I am fortunate that I had a class with the natural Santa Claus. A kind, gentle soul who also knew how to keep track of who was naughty and nice. The beard helped.

Sadly, he passed away this weekend.

In the spring of my freshman year at Coe I took a class in Sociology. (I really like Sociology but it wasn't until grad school before I took more classes. Only in Sociology classes do I think, "I am the most conservative person in the room.")

The class with Professor Flanagan was eye-opening. Sociology should be named the "social science that studies all the ways the world is unfair." I have thought about the class many times since coming here.

I also think about him from a teaching standpoint: In his class he assigned a book to read but never talked about it in class. On the midterm he asked an essay question about the book worth 20% of the grade. At first I was angry. I thought, "If it is that frickin' important why didn't you talk about it at least once in class?" Then I paused and thought, "Welcome to college."

As a teacher I have never followed Professor Flanagan's example. I pretty much give test questions that come from lecture - I consider it a reward for those who stay awake in my class... but this semester I failed to mention a topic in one of my classes and a few students were upset to get questions about it. It was in the textbook so I had no problem smiling and saying, "Welcome to college!"

Cheers Professor Flanagan! I really wish I had had a chance to talk to you about all that I have learned about "income stratification" since I arrived in the Emirates. I'm one of your students who greatly appreciated you as a teacher and I'm only mad at myself for getting a B in your class.

Paragliding

2011-11-16T10:15:00.001-06:00

Thirty minutes of paragliding costs $100. I did it last year but the weather was cloudy and the Himalayas were not visible, yet it was still worth $100. This year? Priceless.

A jeep took us up to a mountain ridge where we walked up a trail to the launch.

A paraglider is taking off from the mountain just as we arrive. I did a tandem paraglide. Unlike skydiving, paragliding is much more relaxing. Rather than hang attached to the person you jump with, in paragliding you actually sit in a seat and allow your feet to dangle.

The view from the air was incredible; Himalayas in the distance and rice farms up the mountainside right below us.

This was the first good day for paragliding in weeks so there were many out. The updrafts were strong. We could have remained aloft indefinitely.

Farmers in this picture are harvesting the rice. The large black spot is a shadow from our parachute.

My feet are at the bottom of this picture just before we land. My tandem guy nailed the landing better than a Chinese gymnast.

This is a short video I took of the trip.

Himalayas by moonlight

2011-11-14T09:28:00.000-06:00

The Eco-village is a difficult place to get to with amazing views of the Annapurna range of the Himalayas. We arrived there after dark on a clear night. The moon was nearly full. I borrowed a tripod and set my camera to 30 second exposures. The result is a set of pictures that almost looks like daylight.

It was nearly pitch black at the time I took this with the Himalayas shimmering in the distance.

How the trees here appear green is quite amazing to me... they were black to my eyes.

I love how the Himalayas seem to float with stars above the plants and flowers in the foreground. This may be my favorite picture I've ever taken.

Back in Al Ain

2011-11-12T09:28:00.001-06:00

The Nepal trip of 2011 is over and it was incredible. Unfortunately, I have a lot of work to do in the next two weeks so blogging about the trip may take some time.

Also, I need to amend/correct the post below. As a single male waling the streets of the tourist area I had plenty of offers of "hasheesh... mareeejuana...?" I learned on previous trips that if Ann was with me there would be much fewer offers.

On this trip, however, I didn't get one single "a good clean girl?" offer. Perhaps they've cracked down on prostitution. Maybe the Finnish guy really did have a hard time finding it.

Also, I should note that the offers don't happen in Pokhara - the resort city I spent most of time on this trip. And as far as annoyances go, hearing guys offering pot as you walk along the street is just not a big deal.

Until I have time to post more, here is a shot from paragliding above Pokhara:

Surreal moment of the day

2011-11-10T11:45:00.000-06:00

I am sitting at a bar in Kathmandu - the place where anything can be had for a price and a Finnish guy just asked me where he could find a prostitute. I basically responded, "Are you serious?"Wow.Imagine someone saying, "Where can I find corn in Iowa?" that would be equally humorous.

Nepal update

2011-11-08T11:36:00.000-06:00

I think... think... I may have taken a few of the best pictures of my life last night while on a mountain ridge looking up at the Himalayas. I have to wait to download them back in the emirates to be sure. They were valuable enough that I paid a ridiculous fee to have them copied onto a flash drive and gave them to my Nepali friend Sanjaya for safe keeping. (My propensity to lose things is simply too high.)Today Sanjaya took me by motorcycle around the Pokhara valley - to see where he teaches and to see where he calls home. The world for Nepali's is so different from where I'm from that my head is constantly spinning. To see the "real life" unfiltered and non-touristy was a great gift. I feel so lucky for the experience and the trust he has given me.

In Kathmandu...

2011-11-05T10:10:00.000-05:00

... a day late. The flight was delayed a day by a mechanical problem. Etihad put us up in a nice hotel and flew us out this morning.

Less than a minute after leaving the terminal I heard my first "hack a big loogey and spit." <-- One of the not-so-appealing parts of the culture here.

Less than five minutes later I saw two monkeys playing games with each other. <--- One of the great things about being here.

I also was successful in booking a morning flight to Pokhara, getting a hotel for $12 (this is high tourism season so I was happy to get a room, period), AND a two hour massage where I fell asleep.

A very successful first day!

The on again, off again trip to Nepal...

2011-11-03T08:16:00.002-05:00

...is back on.

I booked the ticket over a month ago. On Tuesday they told us we had to be back to work next Wednesday. I changed my ticket. Many had package vacations they changed that cost them thousands of dollars. Most of my colleagues said, "Screw it. I'm not changing my plans."

Late today we were told, "We changed our mind again. You get all of next week off."

I changed my ticket again. It will cost me $500 more BUT I'll be flying back in business class and get a chauffeur to drive me 90 miles back from the airport to my home.

In the fiasco my travelling companions understandably gave up.

*******
Ann and Mike are also going to Nepal but they are headed to an orphanage. I'm giving money and carrying clothes for the orphans but I'm headed to Pokhara - a resort that I loved last year. Depending on how much time they spend with the orphans they may join me in Pokhara.

If anyone wants a Nepal t-shirt like the one below leave a comment or contact me on FB. And let me know what color you want: Black, grey, hunter green or deep blue.

If there's anything you want from Nepal let me know. I will have several days on my own so I'll have plenty of time to shop.

Professional sucking up

2011-11-02T14:38:00.000-05:00

After one of my students got a C on his midterm he sent this e-mail:

"Walla I don't believe I how I get this great doctor and I score so poorly on the test."

Walla = I swear to God.

Bad luck comes in three's, right?

2011-11-01T15:17:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I get the news that my health is bad.

My car gets an inspection and I'm told its health is bad.

Today we get the news that we have to report to work next Wednesday... meaning my trip to Nepal it is quite possibly canceled.

The silver lining? Today I gave a midterm where the students who pay attention in class did well and the students who don't were trying madly to cheat off of those who knew what was going on. Having multiple versions of the test and a friend to help watch kept the cheating to a minimum.

This doesn't quite make up for possibly losing Nepal, but for me this is a huge silver lining.

OK, Mom, I'm listening...

2011-10-31T05:22:00.001-05:00

Mom was always very diligent about taking her medication. I'm not. That worried her and, well, mother's are always right.

I knew I hadn't been taking my thyroid medicine lately and that can cause a lot to go wrong in the body. Today's blood results are not bad, they are "no need to worry about retirement savings" bad! Cholesterol at 430. Some other numbers just as off-the-chart bad.

*****

Today is the last day of the month and I've been good at working out. I missed 9 days out of 31. (That's more remarkable considering how low my thyroid level is - I should have trouble getting out of bed in the morning.) The threat of giving money to Republicans gave me the incentive to work out. I only ate fast food once.

Now I just hope the incentive of not dying will be enough to make me take all the new meds I've been prescribed. Next checkup will be in January. I have two months to be good: Workout, eat well, and take my medicine. If the numbers come down, great! If not? I'm buying a 60" TV.

Achilles' heel?

2011-10-25T15:54:00.000-05:00

Short of something earth-shattering happening, Mitt Romney will be the Republican nominee.

His biggest weakness in this economy is that he was a CEO of a holding company that shipped jobs overseas. Also, he won't release his tax returns... so what if it turns out that Romney (net worth $190 million) pays a lower percentage of his income in taxes than a family making $50,000? The Obama team must be salivating at the opportunity.

Even more amazing: A fellow Republican is calling him out on this.

Ahh, life in the Emirates

2011-10-25T15:09:00.000-05:00

From the "you couldn't make this stuff up" department:

Today I went to the hospital to make an appointment to see a doctor. I was told I had to come back at 11. I said, "So I have to make an appointment to make an appointment."

"Come back at 11, sir."

THIS is why I have put off getting the prescription for high blood pressure medicine... to get the prescription would cause my blood pressure to skyrocket.

As much as I love pugs...

2011-10-24T11:08:00.000-05:00

...I found this funny.

Good day trumps bad day

2011-10-23T11:18:00.000-05:00

In the space of 20 minutes friends half jokingly said I was old, fat, and threw boring parties.

At the same time I got an e-mail from my boss offering (another) huge raise.

I wonder what the going rate is for better friends. I might be able to afford them now.

Double Whammy

2011-10-21T09:10:00.002-05:00

First, I wasn't able to make it to the gym yesterday or today so adds $300 to the bill I owe the Republican party. I'm still net ahead, but it is disturbing.

Late this afternoon I ran into a former student in the mall. After talking for a few minutes he said, "Sir, you need to go to the gym."

Gee, thanks.

And your mother said you'd go blind...

2011-10-20T14:12:00.000-05:00

Christian Right pastor says masturbation is a form of homosexuality.

And they say gays only make up 2-3% of the population. Hmm.

Penguins - giving guys a bad reputation

2011-10-18T16:22:00.002-05:00

I thought calling a guy a pig was the right insult. Having grown up on a pig farm I never saw piggy theft:

I hope someone will tell a colleague, “You’re such a penguin”, and let me know how that goes.

Throw out the scale

2011-10-18T15:51:00.000-05:00

I am doing well on working out. I go at least every other day and usually it is two out of three. Yesterday the eliptical I always use was busy so I decided to use the rowing machine. My stomach is still on fire 24 hours later.

According to the scale I weighed in at 215 a month ago and I'm 215 today. The difference? Yesterday and today I wore pants that were very uncomfortably tight a month ago. Now they are just tight. Maybe I'm actually gaining some muscle to replace the fat.

Anyhow, it is progress. Slow, but sure.

Hey Gus!

2011-10-14T04:06:00.000-05:00

Dear Gus,

If you let yourself go you end up looking like this:

Let's not let that happen.

Love,
Steve

Ruh-roh Romney

2011-10-13T13:54:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago I predicted the 2012 Republican ticket would be Romney/Rubio. It's not a particularly bold or daring prediction, but it's one I had meant to make two months ago. Why? Because while I was back in Iowa I listened to Rush.

Rush always hated John McCain. He was desperately trying to get support for someone - practically anyone - else. He clearly loved Fred Thompson but he proved to be a terrible candidate. After Thompson and Huckabee split the evangelical/conservative vote in South Carolina, Rush changed his tune quickly on McCain. Listening to him before Florida I said, "Rush won't endorse McCain but clearly the powers-that-be in the party have convinced him to stop bashing him. McCain will be the nominee." McCain won Florida and the rest is history.

This summer Rush fielded callers that wanted to bash Romney. Rush never supported Romney but didn't go out of his way to egg his listeners on - which is a very typical tactic used by El Rushbo. Ergo, with establishment support and the lack of Rush attacking him Romney will be the nominee.

That makes this quote from yesterday's show quite a surprise:

"Romney is not a conservative. He's not folks. You can argue with me all day long on that, but he isn't... This isn't personal, not with what the the country faces and so forth. I like him very much. I've spent some social time with him. He's a fine guy. He's a very nice gentleman. He is a gentleman. But he's not a conservative."

Interesting. Very interesting.

Dexter?

2011-10-13T13:35:00.000-05:00

Tonight a friend said I reminded him of Dexter. I've never seen the show but I know he kills people. Alrighty...

I also like this quote about the guy who was supposedly conspiring with the Mexican drug cartel and Iran to kill a Saudi ambassador. A college roommate of his said, "His socks would not match. He was always losing his keys and cellphone. He was not capable of carrying out this plan."

I'm pretty sure many of my friends would say the same about me. Who knew I could have so much in common with a murderer and a bumbling terrorist?

"Why 158 acres of corn costs $1.5 million"

2011-10-12T11:09:00.000-05:00

That's the title of a blogpost and podcast from Planet Money.

Farmland has become ridiculously expensive in Iowa. Yes, corn and soybean prices are running about double what they were five years ago but land values have tripled. Meanwhile, the cost of inputs from fertilizer to seeds have gone way up in price. A couple of years ago prime Iowa farmland went for $3000/acre. The woman selling a farm in this story received $9,900/acre.

It's hard to get the feeling this is yet another bubble... but the thinking is that as the world population grows the demand for grains (that get fed to animals) will grow and grow. I don't think farmland is selling for $9,900/acre based on current prices but, rather, the expectation that it will be $10+ in the relatively near future.

I wouldn't bet the farm on that.

"Let he is without sin cast the first stone"

2011-10-11T12:10:00.000-05:00

If I remember much from my catechism growing up, that's what Jesus said when asked what he'd do with a woman who had been sentenced to being stoned to death for committing adultery. (What I don't remember ever reading was the punishment for the guy. Even 2000 years ago it took two to tango.)

I thought about this quote today because it's National Coming Out day and, sadly, there are far too many who call themselves Christian who have no problem declaring gays will go to hell. A couple of weeks ago a Republican debate audience booed a gay soldier in Iraq. Booing a soldier. How patriotic.

This weekend a pastor at the richly named Values Voter Summit called Romney's Mormon church a cult. But since beating Obama is the ultimate goal, he'd still vote for Romney.

This segue is to make a prediction I've been wanting to make since late August: The 2012 Republican ticket will be Romney-Rubio. There's a reasonably good chance America will get its first Mormon president and Hispanic Vice President.

The non-sequitor student

2011-10-10T11:40:00.001-05:00

Non-sequitor: Latin for "it does not follow."

(It's a term I never use so I had to be sure I had the right meaning.)

Every once in a while I will get that student: Almost always cheerful and perky and willing to chime in on questions asked in class. Unfortunately, the answers leave me speechless.

After explaining the basics of an assembly line a student said, "Oh, like Apple making all of their earphones white!"

"Umm, no," I replied. At this point my brain is trying so hard to make a connection that I have trouble moving on.

Ten minutes later I'm talking about maintaining inventory at a store and I hear, "Like going to a beauty salon!"

I never had a course in education. I wonder how they teach teachers to deal with such responses.

Final thoughts on Apple...

2011-10-10T11:24:00.001-05:00

...for at least a week.

This weekend I was reading news from my phone while walking in a mall (yes, I'm one of those people). A Pakistani guy(?) stopped me, pointed to my iPhone and made a sad face. I shook my head, "Yes, yes, it is very sad."

*****
There were almost as many tributes to Steve Jobs among my Arab FB friends as there were my American FB friends. That blows me away.

Why didn't Apple's stock drop like a stone?

2011-10-06T15:06:00.001-05:00

Apple's stock fluctuated less today than it does on a normal day. Unquestionably, all eyes on Wall St. and around the world were on AAPL today.

I got the news about Jobs' death from an e-mail from a friend:

"Buy the stock you say? If I had money I would be mad at you because the stock is going to drop."

After it didn't drop he wrote, "How did the stock not drop? Are they sentimentally buying Apple stock?"

The answer is the one I gave a few days ago: By virtually any measure Apple is a cheap stock right now. There was simply not much room for it to go down. (Which sounds odd for a company whose share price is $380.)

Also, remember the saying, "I don't care what the newspapers say about me as long as they spell my name right?" Apple has received hundreds of millions - probably billions - of free advertising today. Someone who's never thought about Macs, iPhones, iPods, iPads is likely feeling a craving to know what everyone is talking about.

I swear, I wish I had money to buy this stock.

*****
A student contacted me to ask, "What will be the first sign in the change of leadership at Apple?" I replied that we saw the answer on Tuesday at the launch of the iPhone 4S. Steve "I want my products to be the best" Jobs was probably not a big fan of selling two year old technology in the iPhone 3GS. New CEO Tim Cook is a supply chain guy who saw how cheap they could be made and couldn't pass up the opportunity to reach consumers who can't or won't pay for a iPhone 4S.

The good thing is that more people will experience Apple products under Tim Cook. The bad thing is what we'll never know: What incredible product could Steve Jobs have thought of in the future.

What more do you need to know?

2011-10-06T12:08:00.004-05:00

Ann: Someday I want you to tell me the story of the guy who had Steve Jobs fired from Apple.

Me: He came to Apple from PEPSI!

Ann: I think there's more to the story.

Of course, there is more to the story... and the horrible guy who came from PEPSI wasn't really horrible. In fact, he gave one of the better interviews on explaining Jobs' way of thinking.

Separation anxiety

2011-10-05T15:11:00.000-05:00

Tonight I said goodbye to the first Arab friend I made in this country. He was a student from my first semester and we kept in touch after he was out of the class. Last year we became friends as I hired him to do translating work for my training courses.

Abood is doing his internship in Qatar and will most likely start his career there. Geographically, Qatar is closer to the UAE than Chicago is to Iowa, but in reality a move is a move. It's just never the same.

I know everyone hates goodbyes but I think I'm worse than most. Sometimes I think the real reason I never wanted children is that I knew someday they'd grow up and move away... and I don't think I could take that.

Apple lays an egg

2011-10-05T13:17:00.000-05:00

I was tired last night but decided to stay up for Apple's big announcement. If only there had been a big announcement...

Apple took over 100 minutes to make its announcement and I'm pretty sure they pitched the ability to send a greeting card via regular old mail before they got around to announcing the iPhone 4S. I'm not 100% sure because I was nodding off before the show was over.

Today there is much hand-wringing over how small of an improvement this phone is compared to the iPhone 4. My complaint? The screen is still 3.5. ~~Perhaps I'm a size queen but~~ other phones have been over 4 inches for a year and a half. Hey Apple! My eyes aren't getting any better! I want a larger screen!

The fatal flaw, however is in the design. Buyers of Apple products should be ashamed of paying too much but instead most carry it as a badge of honor. This says it all:

The only reason I upgraded from the 3GS to the 4 is that my carrier gives one year data connection free. So upgrading saved me $50/month that I would pay for the internet. In February my year will be up and I'll probably buy the iPhone 4S.

Apple, I wish I could quit you.

...but will still make tons of money

2011-10-05T12:30:00.000-05:00

Investors seemed to be as underwhelmed as I was about the announcement; Apple stock went from $381 on Friday to a low of $355 yesterday. That's a pretty big 7% drop. Today the stock has almost regained all of that loss while bad reviews of the iPhone 4S continue to come in. Nobody is excited about this phone. So is the stock holding up?

1. By every measure the stock is still cheap. (The point I made over the weekend..)
2. Apple is continuing to sell the 3GS and 4. Want an iPhone but don't want to fork over hundreds of dollars? You can get a iPhone 3GS for free, FREE! with a new phone contract. If I were a cash-strapped Apple envy guy like I used to be, I would be taking that offer. In other words, Apple is now able to appeal to the snobs who want the latest and greatest and the common guy on the street. By increasing their pool of customers they will make more money.
3. The iPhone 4S will be sold on more networks. Namely, Sprint will now carry it in the US and they've added more companies across the planet. Again, more potential customers.

So I'm not recanting my weekend post of wishing I had money to buy Apple stock. Here they sell iPhones with no contract. That makes the price about $760. Right now that would get me two shares of Apple stock. That sounds like a better deal than iPhone 4S.

Called to the Dean's office

2011-10-05T07:35:00.000-05:00

As I was walking out of my office I saw an e-mail from my dean asking to meet with me. It's a first in 3 years and given my experience at Hamilton I was in his office in two minutes. He looked startled, "Were you waiting in the hallway?" He then said I'd have to come back in an hour.

I'm just not a patient guy and there is nothing worse than wondering if you are in trouble for something and having to wait.

It turned out to be good news: I've been asked to teach in an entrepreneurship certification program. I don't have details but it would mean more money, a little bit longer hours, fewer classes and fewer students. Most importantly for me: It's something new. Teaching the same courses for four years is beginning to drive me batty. It's easy, don't get me wrong, but boring.

So we'll see how this goes....

*******
Workout update: I was good for October 1, 2, 3 but didn't go yesterday. Now the problem is that I may not have time today. Missing two days in a row means the Republicans gain $200 today... I have to find time to go workout...

Question of the day: How much do teachers affect a student's love for a subject?

2011-10-03T12:51:00.001-05:00

Tonight I was talking to a student who said, "I hate xxxx class because the teacher is clearly here just for the paycheck."

I often wonder how much a teacher affects a student's attitude towards a subject. I was bound for political science and/or economics when I came to Coe. Unfortunately, the political science profs left a lot to be desired. And I loved my econ classes. What if the reverse had been true? Would I have graduated a poli-sci major and not econ? Wow, how different my life would be.

Apple

2011-10-02T13:06:00.001-05:00

Apple closed on Friday at $381. I so wish I had a pool of money because I would buy Apple at this price in a heartbeat. I won't bore you with financial equations, but by virtually every measure Apple is undervalued, and once the new iPhone rolls out next week they will see a new sales explosion and the stock will be at $500 in less than two months.

So why is Apple cheap? The law of large numbers. A company that has seen the phenomenal growth that Apple has usually can't sustain it. Yeah, so they doubled their profits in the past year, they surely can't do that again... right? Maybe not, but I think they'll come close. Even if they only increase earnings by 25% they are still a good buy.

Wow, I wish I had money.

(Before my friend (and future lawyer) e-mails and tells me to add the disclaimer, I'm not a financial planner and I don't even play one on TV. Any choices you make should not be based on anything I write in this blog!)

Workout incentive

2011-10-02T12:54:00.000-05:00

Matt commented that his incentive for working out is basically getting laid. That won't work for me. Working out every day for a year won't change that.

I decided to go with the simple approach that has worked for me before: I pledge $1500 to the Republican party of Iowa. Every day I work out in the month of October I can subtract $100. (Goal is to work out every other day.)

Given my personality I could see working out 15 days in a row and calling it quits so there's a twist: If I go two days without working out $100 gets added to the pledge.

I must get in better shape. In a month I'll be going to Nepal and walking around Nepal is quite fun. Right now it sounds like a chore.

Traffic fatalities

2011-09-28T18:12:00.000-05:00

I'd appreciate some help on this from those in the Cedar Rapids area: How many deaths are there on the roads of Linn county per month?

I was shocked to learn that there have been 54 deaths on the roads in the first 8 months of 2011 in Al Ain. Al Ain has twice the population but given the large laborer class I'd be willing to bet the number of cars on the road is about the same as Linn county.

Fifty-four deaths is both shocking and reassuring. I've said before that if I die in this country it will have nothing nothing to do with terrorism, it will be under the wheels of a LandCruiser. It's reassuring in the sense that I think, "Why am I worried about flying in Nepal when I drive in the Emirates?"

Workout for life...

2011-09-28T15:56:00.000-05:00

...literally.

I have always had borderline high blood pressure. While back in the US I had it checked and I had crossed the line to seriously high blood pressure and I talked with my doctor about the various treatments. I've tried round one and it hasn't worked. If anything - according to my Walgreens monitor - it's become worse. I average 130-100 (not good) and I've even had a reading of 140-109 (scarily stroke potential).

I renewed the gym membership that I used less than a half-dozen times last year and I've been there 3 times in the past week.

I have parents and grandparents with good longevity, but I also have a cousin who died way too young from a stroke; I know this is nothing to mess around with. As an economist at heart I am searching for the right incentive tool to make me healthier - beyond the "you're gonna die" part.

Any suggestions on what has worked for any of you is appreciated.

A teaching first

2011-09-25T12:47:00.000-05:00

I have a class of 48 students and a class of 44 being held in a room that seats 33. I moved the classes myself and got in trouble. So today I came into class and saw every seat taken and students standing at the back of the room. I covered a little material and said, "That's it. Until the university decides to give us a decent room this class is canceled. I'll send an e-mail when I hear that we have a better room."

A friend saw me shortly after and could see how angry I was. His response, "Take the money and run." Before that he said, "Why do you care? It's no big deal. If it really bothered the students they would complain. Just let it go."

Not to be melodramatic, but the moment I quit caring about my classes is the moment I need to hang it up and find a new profession.

I've been assured the problem will be fixed before Tuesday's classes.

Plane crash in Nepal

2011-09-25T05:22:00.002-05:00

This is not the headline I wanted to read a week after booking a ticket to Nepal! The plane that crashed was one that had taken a trip to see Mount Everest. It's a trip Ann and I took back in 2008.

Here's one of my pictures from that trip. I found it to be anti-climatic. Looking at the mountains from a plane window didn't seem all the different than looking at a giant picture of them.

Our flight in 2008 was delayed because of the fog. Apparently, trying to land in fog is what caused this plane to crash. I still plan to fly to Pokhara on this trip to Nepal because a week in Kathmandu is not appealing and the possibility of careening off a mountain side in a bus is equally unattractive.

I wish they published statistics of casualties rates by bus vs air. I doubt either set of numbers would help Nepali tourism.

*****
Update: While I was working out tonight I saw video of the crash site. It was not pretty. Since Buddha Air has one plane that makes the trip to see Everest, returns, refuels and heads out again, it is likely that the plane that crashed is the same plane we were on.

Oh, the language barrier

2011-09-22T14:31:00.002-05:00

I arrived home tonight from a great dinner party followed by a birthday party. In my Emirati life this is as about social as it gets.

As the taxi dropped me off the watchman seemed to indicate that my car could not be parked on the street in front of my apartment. It's where I have been parking 90% of the time for the past three years. The more insistent he became that I couldn't park there the angrier I became. His English is all of 50 words but I was close to chopping his head off.

I finally realized what he meant: I've been paying him to wash my car and he gets in trouble if he washes my car on the street but won't get in trouble if he washes it within the compound.

I felt so bad I gave him $5.

Skippidy-doo-dah...

2011-09-22T10:23:00.000-05:00

Last spring I was promised a huge pay increase, but I never signed any paperwork so I kinda wondered if it would really happen. Today I saw the September pay and it has the increase. To avoid any issues I won't say how much the increase is but if you're good with math you can work it out: It's the equivalent of what a person working full time at the minimum wage in the US.

That's both great for me and sad that some people work 40 hours/week for this as their TOTAL pay.

228

2011-09-19T12:50:00.000-05:00

It's not been a great start for the semester. My class sizes keep growing and growing. I wish this were a joke: Every class I was assigned had to be moved because there were not enough seats in the room in which I was originally assigned.

I'm now at 228 students. That's insane. My male sections are 47, 47, and 50. As I've written before, large male sections are, well, a nightmare.

If this were a first, a second, or even a third semester of this I might be OK, but the pattern is set: I teach more students than anyone else in my college for four semesters running. In my department I have triple the number of my average colleague. TRIPLE.

I'm angry because I know I can't be the teacher I want to be with class sizes of 47-50. But why does that upset me? My evaluations remain high, I have relative job security and I'm not selling AFLAC.

Sometimes I have to remind myself of the occupation I was facing when I left the US to come here.

So, yeah, it sucks... but living here there are constant reminders of people living on $200/month. I pay my maid twice the going rate because of liberal guilt...

Regardless, 228 is not fun.

The age of Facebook

2011-09-19T12:14:00.000-05:00

I appreciated FB on the day Mom died; it was a quick way to let most of my friends know the news. I expected many responses expressing condolences and they came streaming in over the next couple of days. I found it reassuring and warming at a moment when everything felt cold. I was also stunned by the friends who sent plants, made food and wrote long personal messages.

For my birthday FB elicited a different set of emotions. Somewhere close to 200 people wished me a happy birthday. Rather than have any delusions of being popular I actually found it odd to scroll down the list of those who took the time to wish me a happy birthday. A sizable number - 20%? - are people that I've attempted to make contact with over my trips back to the US in the past four years and was repeatedly ignored.

I take it as, "We were friends/acquaintances at one time but now we're just FB friends. Let's just leave it that way."

I'll take a real friend over a hundred FB friends any day. The events of the past month have left me happy that I do have some terrific real friends.

THUMPS UP!

2011-09-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

Today I received my student evaluations from the spring. I had over 220 students and didn't feel like I connected with any of my classes... so I wasn't sure what to expect. Fortunately, the numbers were really good - well above the college and university averages.

Here are some of the comments. First, the good:

the course was fun and interesting, the instructor is funny ( in good way) and he has a good ability and mood to teach so I was in his class.
I would like to take another class with Mr. Steven. One of the best professors I had.
he's a succesful teacher, his way of teaching is veryinteresting and not like any other teacher

Here is a sample of the "I feel my head expanding" comments:

he is the best
He is my best teacher ever
Dr. Steven Kranz is the best - keep it up ^^
He's AMAZING, his class is one the best classes in the uni, u learn and u have fun in the same time, with him u never bored and if u like and respect the sir ur grades will be high.

I'm not sure what "respect the sir" means but it sounds kinda naughty...

The one somewhat negative comment:

I really enjoy this course with your class but sometimes youput some questions in the exams you don't covered in the class. This is theonly negative you have but in general you are the best ;)

It's true; there are some questions I don't cover in class, but hey, welcome to college.

And there's always at least one comment that makes me laugh out loud:

THE BEST TEACHER EVERRRRRRRRRRR , THUMPS UP .

With no "p" or "b" in Arabic, it's not surprising they get this confused. Remember, a year ago I was called "the pest doctor."

The farm

2011-09-12T16:16:00.001-05:00

My niece Gina took this awesome picture at the farm while they were back from DC for Mom's funeral. Her husband Jim is the one looking out on the splendor of Iowa.

Gina and Jim deserve some kind of award for finding a way back to Iowa with a seven day old son to attend the funeral... and then be delayed in the return by hurricane Irene.

Valuable shoes

2011-09-09T06:52:00.000-05:00

In February I travelled to Sri Lanka by myself. I know my ability to lose things and the fear of losing my passport and/or money was scary. As a precaution I put two $100 bills underneath the soles of my shoes.

A week ago I went to buy an iPad and my credit card was inexplicably declined. "Wait a minute," I replied. I went to the bathroom, removed the money I needed from my shoes, and went up to pay.

Since it was under the soles this entire time the money didn't even smell bad...

Flying on Etihad

2011-09-08T07:52:00.001-05:00

A nice thing about flying Etihad is that they have a large 9" inch personal TV for every passenger. There are many movies and TV shows to choose from on demand. They also have some interesting features like allowing you to see how far you are away any two cities in the world.

This is from the trip back to the US in early August.

The green line on this map shows the flight path. Check out the Titanic and Egypt. What I do not understand is why they show major boat sinkings on the map. Why would anyone show disasters on a map that passengers are looking at?

2011-09-06T12:51:00.000-05:00

Two years ago an Emirati airline started flying directly from Chicago to Abu Dhabi. It's the only direct flight from this country to the Windy City. This summer I was finally able to take it. In anticipation I paid $270 for an Etihad credit card to earn "miles." I was supposed to get tons of benefits all of which turned out to be a lie.

On Sunday, however, I received my first benefit:

When I checked in at Chicago I was given a pass to the Premium Lounge. I could lie and say the place was amazing - personal chefs, massage therapists on demand, bartenders at your service for whatever cocktail you could dream up (believe it or not there are some premium lounges that are that great). Instead I have to say they kept out a fresh bag of chips and rotated the bottles of wine quickly. The atmosphere was almost Ikea-like (functional but nothing cool).

At this point in my Etihad membership this glass of wine has a $270 pricetag. I do think I'm collecting enough miles to maybe get a trip to Nepal but I'm not holding my breath.

The trip, however, was perfect. I boarded a plane at about 8:30 PM Iowa time Sunday, flew overnight for 12 hours (we made good time) and got off the plane in Abu Dhabi at 6PM Monday. I slept well on the plane and I can't think of a better trip. Usually jet lag is worse flying east but I'm doing well so far.

Anyhow, I'm in and almost all is well. One of my bags is missing. I'm going to hope it shows up soon. My much more well traveled friends have said it always shows up eventually so I'm not going to panic... Although if I did panic I wouldn't know what affect that would have on my blood pressure because the machine I bought to measure BP is in the missing bag...

Maybe not such a good idea

2011-09-04T19:13:00.001-05:00

I am typing this from the "premium"lounge in the international terminal. It sounds better than it is, but hey, at least they have free wine. It's the first benefit I have received from paying $270 for the membership. More on that in a future post.

*******
The week Mom died I couldn't bring myself to listen to my voicemail. I thought,"'I'll save it for the airport on my way out...'" Don't ask me why that sounded like a good idea in the first place...

I just listened to them and it has, umm, reduced me to a bucket of tears. Enough so that it's made everyone else in the lounge look at me. In particular was a call from my HS friend Martha who got the news two weeks ago just before she was to board plane back home. Her heartfelt/tearful memory of Mom is a voicemail I wish I could keep.

Anyhow, I have to go... Seeing how I am now I can't fathom how I would have made the trip home had Mom died while I was in the Emirates. My plane for Abu Dhabi boards soon. - Steve

Trip back...

2011-09-04T14:33:00.000-05:00

Here is the flight tracker for my trip back to Abu Dhabi:

http://flightaware.com/live/findflight/KORD/OMAA

The itinerary is Cedar Rapids to Chicago at 4:15... and then Etihad flight #150 direct from Chicago to Abu Dhabi. I basically get on a plane at 8PM Central time on Sunday and get off the plane at 8PM Abu Dhabi time on Monday. 14 hour trip + 9 time zones = 23 hours. I lose day going this way.

I'll let you know when I get in.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, what did you think of the play?

2011-08-29T12:03:00.000-05:00

The past ten days have been a blur. I have six days remaining and it's likely to also be a blur as I try to get many things done before I head back to the Emirates.

I was not looking forward to the visitation or the funeral but both were really quite nice. I spent two days scanning pictures of Mom and they played in the back of the church for people to see. With Mom being cremated, I much prefer the slideshow of pictures - it seemed much more of a celebration of life than seeing an embalmed body in a coffin.

The outpouring of support from friends and family has been very much appreciated. Those who knew Mom years ago remembered her humor and liveliness. In looking through the pictures of the past it's very saddening to see how much the Lupus took out of her in the past twenty years. Living with systemic lupus for twenty years, however, is quite remarkable.

My friends have been amazing... I started listing all the great things they did but realized I would most certainly leave something out and then feel bad. Several of my former students from Kaplan who became friends also sent flowers and came to the visitation/funeral. Let's just say I'm really lucky to have such amazing friends.

This experience made me realize how much I need an American credit card. One friend - Sandy (who comments on the blog) - sent a huge plant and planned to come down from Minneapolis. I talked her out of it because I didn't want her traveling so far when I'd have so little time to talk to her. Sandy lost both of her parents while I've been in Emirates. I wanted to send a plant but couldn't without the American credit card. I wasn't sure if I could even get one having destroyed my credit back in 2007-2008. The good news is that I was able to get one and I didn't even have to put down a security deposit or pay an annual fee. Maybe my credit isn't quite as bad as I feared.

The bright spot of the past week is all the reconnecting I've made with old friends. It's unfortunate that it took these circumstances to make it happen but I am a really lucky guy to have a wonderful support network. This is something I need to remind myself of when I feel depressed.

Mom

2011-08-20T15:47:00.000-05:00

Yesterday Mom spent the day and night in the hospital. After a week of bad diarrhea her potassium levels dropped to nothing and they spent a couple of hours pumping her with fluids to get them back to normal. Dad had headed home earlier and by the time I brought her home she was doing OK. She wasn't terribly coherent after plenty of pain medication, but given the number of close calls over the years this one didn't seem like a big deal.

This morning Dad heard her breathing a bit labored but didn't think much of it. When she didn't get up he went to check on her and she had already passed.

Mom has been sick for decades. In the late 90's nobody would have predicted she would have made it to 2011. Still, it is safe to say this is shocking.

*****
In late May I volunteered for summer school. Following that I had nightly nightmares. The nightmares were that Mom died while I was in the Emirates - and if I hadn't taught summer school I could have seen her one more time.

Fortunately, my sense of foreboding didn't come true. In fact, Mom had a really great June and July. She was in the best condition she's been in for at least ten years. Last week Mom had her 77th birthday and 59th wedding anniversary. The family gathered for the first time in years at the Amanas just last Saturday.

So, it is shocking and I'm still in a state of disbelief. I am happy however because:

She was in great shape the past two months.
The whole family gathered just last week.
I was able to spend all of yesterday with her. I am so grateful I was in the country. I can't imagine what it would be like to get this call in the Emirates.
Given Mom's illnesses she could have gone in a long, drawn-out way - spending months in a nursing home. I am so grateful that she passed peacefully in her sleep. After what she's been through, she deserved it.

I feel so bad for my father: Married for 59 years to the only love of his life. He's quoting a song that talks that all the bad things in life had to happen in order for him to meet the love of his life by coincidence. He considers himself one of the luckiest guys in the world for the time he's had with her. I can't imagine his world without her.

Week one in Iowa

2011-08-10T12:14:00.001-05:00

Downgrade?

2011-08-08T11:00:00.000-05:00

If you or I saw our credit rating lowered we'd be paying higher interest rates. We'd have trouble getting credit. So what happens on the first day of trading after S&P downgrades US debt? Interest rates on the debt have actually fallen and the value of the dollar is up about 2 cents.

Crazy? Not really.

As bad as things may be for the US, they are much worse in Europe. The US has a Tea Party inspired political problem. Europe has dysfunctional economic system hangover for which there is no clear solution.

The bottom line: As much the tea baggers did a good job of showing the world they could bring the US government to its knees, the very real problems in Europe trump the theatrical sideshow.

Next stop Chicago

2011-08-03T00:07:00.000-05:00

Woke up late. My driver thought he was to pick me up at 6pm, not 6am. Still, made it on time and was given an emergency row seat (more leg room). Everything will be fine, inshallah. To track the flightGo here:http://ar.flightaware.com/live/flight/ETD151You may need to switch to the English version.

Packing

2011-08-02T15:35:00.001-05:00

I am attempting to bring back to two tajines - traditional Moroccan cooking/serving dishes. See one in use here. They are made of clay so I'm really scared.... so they are wrapped in newspaper and bubble wrap. Feeling that was not enough I ripped one of the egg cushion things from from my bed and cut it up. I think it's good enough. Time will tell.

I am bringing these back for two friends who are excellent cooks. Assuming these don't break my friends had better invite me over for dinner.

Summer 2009 vs. Summer 2011

2011-08-02T12:39:00.000-05:00

Summer 2009 was one of the coldest on record for Iowa.

The highs never reached an average high for the month (extraordinary). Many concluded that the good weather was due to my absence.

July of 2009 was 9 degrees below normal while July of 2011 will end 2-3 degrees above normal. (Most odd is that the lows for this month are 5 degrees above normal. The low for three days was 77! That's a very warm night.)

Meanwhile I was in middle east and the weather was odd in 2009: hazy most days. The haze kept the tems from going above 110 but I didn't see a cloud for over a month. This summer has had a bit of sprinkles, sand storms, and clouds. During the day we've been baked: 115 most days.

The summer itself has been very different. Two years ago it was a lot of watermelon and sleep. This summer I tried getting lots of both...

... but this was one of the few decent ones I could find this summer. The rest were all past their prime. And sleep? It's better than the month of horror (mid-May to mid-June) but it's still not good. I hope things are better when I'm home. The fact the heatwave will break by the time I get home is a good sign. I appreciate not being to be blamed for bad weather.

*****
My aviation-geek friend and airline pilot friend have both assured me that the new plane is nothing to be concerned about. It's reassuring.

Debt Deal

2011-08-01T15:17:00.000-05:00

I am glad I am thinking about coming home, otherwise the debt deal would be overwhelmingly depressing. I am hard-pressed to think of a more disastrous legislative loss since healthcare reform was killed in the 1990's. The same qualities that made Obama the only Democratic president to get healthcare reformed passed are the same qualities that led to this horrible deal: The guy will do anything to get to yes. That's a tough bargaining position.

I'm trying hard to find a silver lining and this is the best I can do: This bill is not as bad as the "grand bargain" he almost struck with Boehner two weeks ago.

Economically this hurts an economy that can't take many more blows. Politically, the president has demoralized his base (and killed our enthusiasm for him) and emboldened the Tea Party. Until now, I really believed the president was a lock for reelection. Given what the state of the economy will be by November 2012 and a base that is unenthusiastic, I don't know if he'll win. Interestingly, GOP.com seems convinced that the president will win reelection.

Hey, look, Mommy! It's a shiny new plane!

2011-07-31T16:16:00.001-05:00

Please indulge my aviation geekness...

My flight on Wednesday is the only direct from this country to Chicago. It is Etihad flight 151 Abu Dhabi direct to Chicago. The route's been open for two years and all along it's been flow by Airbus A340's.

Starting tomorrow the plane making the trip will be a Boeing 777 ER(Extended Range). That's means I'll be flying in a brand new, hot off the assembly line jet that Etihad took possession of just a few weeks ago. Exciting, right?

The TV screen, on demand shows/movies/music/games should be unmatched. Given that I will be on only the third flight that has passengers I suspect it will still have that new airplane smell.

So why I am not jumping for joy? By all accounts the 777 is a well designed, very safe plane - I'd rather be on it than any model of the Airbus. But are there kinks in this particular one that hasn't been worked out? It hasn't logged many flight hours. Hmm. And how about the pilots? From what I've read it is quite a different experience flying Airbus vs. Boeing.

I'm posting this to a friend who is a bigger aviation geek than anyone I met in three years of working at airports... and a friend who is pilot for Southwest Airlines. I'm curious about they think.

Channeling Mr. Nottger

2011-07-28T13:16:00.001-05:00

In 8th grade I had a class on earth science, which had a section on weather. One day I bounded into class and before the bell rang I said, "It's a beautiful day outside! We are lucky to be here in earth science studying weather..."

Mr. Nottger was not pleased by the way he thought I was mocking him and the class. He called me aside and forced me to sit in the corner until class started. Seriously.

During the class we did a project where we learned that as you go up in the atmosphere temperatures drop (no surprise) but at a certain elevation temperatures actually rise before dropping again. Before we completed the project I said, "Oh, this is to show that temperatures actually go up above the troposphere."

Mr. Nottger looked at me and said, "Yes. I have never had a student who knew that."

I basically replied, "I am a weather geek and until today I loved studying weather."

The look on his face was priceless. At that age I didn't know the term calling someone a "douche" but that's what it was.

*****
Last week I was so convinced that my students had cheated big time on a quiz that I spent hours writing two completely different finals (with two versions each - four finals in total). I asked the solid A students to take the final at a different time (so others couldn't cheat off of them). I gave the final in a really large room with assigned seats and had a colleague join me to help monitor.

The result? The scores were really high. Apparently, my students didn't cheat more than normal last week; they actually learned the material.

May wonders never cease.

And, yes, I feel like a douche.

T-minus ten and counting

2011-07-25T14:35:00.000-05:00

Without much thought I bought a large supply of Coke Zero and Bud today. As I was making trips hauling it up to my apartment I thought, "Wait, will I drink all of this before I leave next Wednesday?" The answer is probably yes.

Since I always need something to fuel my pre-flight anxiety I have two for this trip: First I will be flying on a new plane. Exciting, right? A new plane on a 15 hour flight. Let's just hope they didn't miss any kinks when they tested it out. Etihad supposedly has world-class service so I am looking forward to the flight.

Etihad customer service (pre-flight) blows. The whole reason I spend $270 on a credit card with them was to get the miles and freebies that come with it. The main freebie I wanted was an extra 40 pounds of luggage. Now I'm told that's not available for the flights to US and Canada. (Never mind that at every point I said, "I'm doing this for the extra luggage to Chicago... I'm doing this for the extra luggage to Chicago." Only after card paid for and ticket paid for am I told, "So, sorry, you don't qualify."

I have 60 pounds of stuff to take back to the US for a friend who moved back to Illinois. I'll suck it and pay the fees because this friend - Imad - is the same guy who counseled me during salary negotations this spring. It's safe to say I would be $350 less per month for the next three years if it were for Imad insisting I demand an even higher salary. Assuming I stay for three more years his advise saved me $12,000. I think I can handle some baggage fees to get the rest of his stuff home.

I haven't given any thought of what to pack because I don't have much of anything *to* pack. I can bring you real cinnamon toothpicks from a cinnamon tree... but they sound better than their bitter taste.

Yeah, I don't have much to bring home beyond a weary traveler grateful to see his dog.

Final sauna

2011-07-25T12:58:00.002-05:00

I am giving my final today and tomorrow. Today the air conditioning went out. The temperature outside was 114 degrees and the stifling air inside seemed even hotter. I probably sweated out a gallon of water. I bought every bottle of water the campus store had and gave them to my students. I became so dehydrated that now - four hours later - my eyes are dry.

Even though the students were sweating buckets like me, only a few took off their guttra (head scarf). Now that's dedication to custom!

******

After the exam I received this message:
"Thank for my god i did well in the final. Also, thank you beacuse you were a perfect instractor. Please help me get A. God bless u always and take care of your self."

That's about as perfect as a message can get: Two thankings for god, self-congratulatory, praise for me, request for the A and a polite ending. That's a lot packed into four sentences.

*****
Unrelated, yesterday I asked an Emirati friend, "Do they start teaching you guys how to suck up in third grade?"

"Oh, no," he said, "we hated our elementary and high school teachers. The sucking up only started in college."

"Quick learners," I replied.

From bad to worse

2011-07-21T14:40:00.000-05:00

Many people get seasonal depression. We call it the winter blues. I seem to get summer depression. It's not fully logical but, hey, I'm always a little different.

Today my men's class finally pushed me over the edge. They cheated on a test and then whined about the few questions they missed. I now have a weekend to contemplate what to do for their final on Monday.

*****

The class I'm teaching this summer (operations management) is a pretty interesting class. The class examines things like how McDonalds works the way they do. Why do you pick a line at the grocery store but take a number at customer service?

My goal is that students will view the world slightly differently. Sometimes I succeed. This summer I failed.

Oh well, I at least I get a paycheck.

Medical screening

2011-07-20T13:24:00.002-05:00

I posted this picture before:

A friend on FB posted it from the clinic where expats (workers from foreign countries) must go to be screened. If a worker is deemed "unfit" he is sent packing for home.

When I arrived on Monday the room looked pretty much the same as in the pic above. There are four stages to move through and all have long queues.

For a mere Dh 100 ($27) you can bypass all of the lines. It was easily the best Dh 100 I have spent in this country. I was in and out in less than 20 minutes.

I don't anyone who has ever failed this mini-physical but I was concerned. Why? I feel like crap... and I have for a long time. The only other times in my life when I've felt this way were caused by medical problems - no thyroid in my system - or a psychological problem - depression. I'm not depressed. I'm not perfect on taking my thyroid medicine but there's enough my system that that can't be it.

I feared that I had contracted something... perhaps during my trips to Sri Lanka or Nepal. And I may have, this screen is only designed to rule out the biggees: Malaria, TB, AIDS, etc.

All I know is that I was relieved to get the paper that said "Fit." This means I'm good for working here for another three years.

Perhaps the malaise I feel is because this summer is much hotter than my first summer in this country back in 2009. I know it's hot back in Iowa right now, but we're hitting 120 pretty much every day here... and it's been over 115 for weeks. Maybe all will be well when I'm back breathing the fresh air of Iowa.

Two weeks from this moment I should be somewhere over eastern Canada on my to a stopover in Chicago before connecting to Cedar Rapids. After a day of dealing with spectacularly bad customer service I am sooo ready to come home.

Ames straw poll

2011-07-18T12:32:00.000-05:00

I will be back in Iowa in time for the Ames Straw Poll. It's a huge deal in Republican politics. It sent Lamar Alexander and Elizabeth Dole packing. In the last cycle it eliminated Senator Brownback. In this cycle it will likely eliminate former Governor Pawlenty of Minnesota.

So, as it draws near I have to decide who to support when I drive the lonely drive to Ames.

With a husband as fabulous as hers, Michelle Bachman is looking like a good choice.